Birasa nkaho ejo gusa wasomye ibitabo hamwe, batsinze ubukorikori mu ishuri ry'incuke n'ibisigo by'imivugo ku mwaka mushya. Uyu munsi, umukobwa wawe yarangije amashuri, yinjira mu kigo ndetse akabona akazi k'igihe gito. Igihe kirageze cyo kumureka ngo ajye koga kubuntu? Nigute ushobora kumenya umwanya mugihe igihe cyiza cyane igihe kirageze cyo gutangira kubaho? Alina Deelse asangiye ibitekerezo kuri iki kibazo nuburyo bwicyemezo cyarwo.
Kuki umwana adashaka kugenda?
Kenshi na kenshi, urashobora kumva uburyo icyitegererezo cyumubano hagati yababyeyi nabana muburengerazuba biganisha ku "buzima buboneye", aho, ufatwa nk'imyaka 18, umwana afatwa nk'ukuri. Buri gihe nishimiye kubibona mu kwizihiza umuryango no muri wikendi, ababyeyi ntibahwema gukunda, umwana ahindura aho atuye, atangira guhindura aho atuye, atangira kubaka aho atuye, atangira kubaka aho atuye, atangira kwiyubaka aho atuye, atangira kubaka aho atuye, atangira kwiyubaka aho atuye, atangira kubaka ubuzima bwe no gufata ibyemezo. Ariko imitekerereze yacu yuburusiya itandukanye mumahanga. Byabaye rero kumyaka yo kubana nababyeyi, agera kumyaka ikuze ndetse no gukora umuryango nyirizina - ok. Ntabwo Uruhare rwanyuma muri ibi rukinishwa nigiciro kinini cyamazu, cyaba kugura cyangwa gukodesha. Byongeye kandi, inzobere mu nto zikiga, cyangwa yarangije gusa ikigo, biragoye kubona akazi n'umushahara munini. Ariko uburyo bwo kuba mubihe, niba umwangavu afite amahirwe kandi yinjizaga bihagije, bityo, arashobora kwihatira kubaho muri iki gihe kandi ntabwo yihutira kuva munzu y'ababyeyi? Sobanukirwa impamvu abana badashaka kugenda munsi yibaba papa na mama biroroshye cyane: bakunda kuba murugo. By'umwihariko niba umuryango ufite umubano ushyushye, abantu bose bari mu rukundo no kubahana. "Kuki guhindura ibi byose?" - Tekereza umwangavu.
Nibyo, kandi ababyeyi akenshi ntiyihutira kureka umwana ukuze. Kuva mu bwato, bashiraho umwana bafite imbaraga rwose kubisubizo byabo. Abana ntibashyira ubuhanga bwubwigenge no kwikorera murugo. Ntibafite inshingano zikikije inzu, ntibitabira gufata ibyemezo, ariko bishimira inyungu zose baha ababyeyi. Byongeye kandi, mama ukundana na papa bamwe rimwe na rimwe nabo bajugunywa mu mufuka wumufuka ukuze "ku myidagaduro". Bibajije ko umwangavu atihutiye gufunga umuryango inyuma ye?
Umwanditsi, umutezo wa psychologue alina
Ibikoresho bya serivisi
Wabonye igihe?
None ni ryari igihe gikwiye cyo gutangira kubaho wenyine? Alina Delisse yizera ko kuri buri ruyabaga muri iki gihe ruza mugihe cye. Ati: "Ndetse n'abanywa imitekerereze y'isi yose ntibashobora kuza ku gitekerezo rusange. Birakenewe gukemura iki kibazo hamwe, ababyeyi n'umwana. Niba umuhungu cyangwa umukobwa adashobora gufata umwanzuro, fata igisubizo gikuze, ntukihute. Ahubwo, fasha kurengana ubunararibonye hamwe nigihombo gito, kuko mububasha bwawe bwo kurema ibisabwa byose: kugenzura ingwate, ingano ya ingwate, inzu ubwayo, nyagasani nyir'ingome, nibindi. Kandi ntugashyireho ikibazo, ntukagire ubwoba umwana "strashilki" kubyerekeye gukura. Alina agira ati: "Ukeneye ubwigenge ari kimwe mu byiciro by'iterambere risanzwe ry'umuntu."
Ntutinye kuganira ejo hazaza hamwe nicyayi cyawe.
Nigute uburezi bwubwigenge butangira? Nyuma yuko umwana amaze kubonana, ikigo cyisumbuye ntikizaba kinini cyo kuganira na gahunda ye. Ni iki abona ubuzima bwe? Gahunda yo kwibanda byimazeyo kwiga cyangwa gukora akazi k'igihe gito mugihe cyubusa? Birakenewe ubufasha bwamafaranga kandi ni ikihe gitabo? Niba atinjiye muri kaminuza, bizagenda bite?
"Emera, mbega ukuntu kugerageza" gushyira mu bikorwa "biteguye gutanga no kwishyura umwangavu. Bizagenda bite? Amashuri yishyuwe, amasomo hamwe namasomo yigihe gito? - Yagira inama umwanditsi. - Niba umwana adashaka kwiga, witeguye kubamo? Ni ryari ingimbi izatangira gushaka akazi? Ni ubuhe bufasha bw'ibikoresho bukenewe bwa mbere? Kandi ni ryari azagira uruhare mu ngengo y'imari y'umuryango? Ibi byose ni ngombwa cyane, umuhungu cyangwa umukobwa bagomba kwimva ko, nubwo urukundo rwawe no kumwitaho, agomba gutangira gufata ibyemezo, kandi koko agomba gutangira gufata ibyemezo, kandi icy'ingenzi, kugira ngo akore inshingano kuri bo, kandi imbere yabo. "