Mu mutwe w'abantu benshi, igitekerezo cyari gitwikiriye cyane ko batanga ababyeyi babo gusaza biteye ubwoba n'ubuzima bushimishije, cyane cyane iyo bagiye mu kiruhuko cy'izabukuru, batakaza ibikorwa bisanzwe by'itumanaho.
Inshingano z'abana bakuze ababyeyi bakuze barimo kwita ku mafaranga n'impano y'amarangamutima. Igisekuru gikuru kigendanaga abuzukuru, kibashyiraho murugo, gitanga ikiruhuko gihuriweho, ikiruhuko, hamagara inshuro nyinshi kumunsi, fata ibibazo byinshi murugo.
Nzi neza ko gusoma cyane iyi mirongo bizavuga iti: "Ni ikihe kibazo kirimo? Bikwiye rero, ndetse ni agace k'itumanaho hamwe n'abakuru. "
Mubyukuri, ibi nibisanzwe. Ariko reka dusuzume ibyo kubuza imipaka ningorane z'umuntu binjiza ibi guhuza.
Ubwa mbere, gushinja bamwe mubaburanyi mubyukuri ko atari ext, nta ngingo. Hariho intego zikomeye zo kurema nababyeyi babo umubano umwe nkubana.
Nk'itegeko, bibaho mumiryango ihangayikishijwe nibihe bigoye: umwe mubabyeyi ararwaye, anywa, yihebye cyangwa ntashobora gukemura ibibazo byamafaranga. Rimwe na rimwe, iyo ababyeyi barwanye. Abana bafite impuhwe cyane hamwe namwe, gerageza gukiza ububabare bwabo n'irundi, kubushake, kubera ubumuga, abantu bakuru bakuru, abantu bakuru benshi mubijyanye numuntu wa bene wabo.
Iyi miterere yamugaye ubushake nigikorwa cyawe cyigisekuru gishaje. Aho kugira ngo ngere ku basaza, ubushobozi bushoboka, gutakaza ibikorwa byahoze n'ubutwari, barokoka iki kibazo kandi bakishingikiriza ku mibereho yawe, bakishingikiriza ku mibereho myiza, babura uburambe, ubwenge nubuzima, guhinduka kubantu babo.
Birumvikana, muri iyi leta inyungu nyinshi: Kurugero, ntugahangane na isura kugirango ubone ibintu bidasubirwaho mubuzima, nkubuntu, inzara, inzozi na gahunda zidashoboka. Ubuzima bwinjizwa cyane mubuzima bwabana bawe, nkaho bwongeye kubaho.
Eric Erickson wakoze iperereza ku myaka, yanditse ko imyaka y'ubusaza aho ihuriro ry'ubuzima bwose ryahujwe ryari umukire. Kandi ubusaza bwo gusubira inyuma no gusubira inyuma bibera imyanya yabanjirije hamwe nimpurugero, ubwoba, kumva icyaha no kubura burundu.
Abana babaye ababyeyi babo nabo ntibishimye cyane. Ku ruhande rumwe, umwanya ushobora byose ubaha uburyo bwo kugenzura. Ibibazo byose byimirire, imyidagaduro, kuvurwa, kwiga byafashwe nabi. Muri icyo gihe, ubuzima bwabo buyoborwa rwose n'uruhare rw'ababyeyi. Ibi bivuze ko hari umutwaro winyongera ukurikije imari, igihe, umubare wibintu byahinduwe. Ibibazo bikabije byumubyeyi nkuyu ntibaha abana bakuze kurema umuryango wabo no kubyara abana. Benshi ntibashobora kwikuramo ibyiyumvo nibyamwe imbere yababyeyi babo.
Niba kandi uremye, ubwo muryango, buri gihe uyoborwa n'injyana y'ubuzima bw'umusaza: "Ugomba kujya kwa mama, mama agomba kwitwa, agomba gutwarwa natwe, ni n'imfashanyo yo kuruhuka. "...
Abashakashatsi b'Abarusiya bavuga ko imiryango myinshi mu gihugu iba munsi y'inzu hamwe n'ababyeyi n'abana. Ntabwo bafite ifasi yihariye. Mama cyangwa ba se, ni ukuvuga, abakuru bafitanye uburenganzira bwo kubangamira abana babo bakuru, batanga inama zo kurera abana cyangwa kubibazo byubukwe. Abana nk'abo bafite ndetse bafite imico y'ubuzima bukuze, mubyukuri ntibaguyemo. Baracyafitanye isano n'ababyeyi babo kandi ntibatsinze inzira yo gutandukana, ni ukuvuga gutandukana, gutandukana n'ababyeyi. Biteguye kuguma muri urwo rwego icyo ari cyo cyose, ndetse no ku bafari no kurera ibisekuru by'ikuru. Kuberako iyi sano nubwo izana ibintu byinshi mubi, ariko irinda gukundwa, ubwigenge nubwisanzure bwuzuye.
Muri leta nk'iyi, umuntu ashinzwe inshingano zuzuye mubuzima atuye nicyo ndangagaciro. Nubwoko bumwe kuri we kandi ntamuntu wandika adahuye muburyo bwose bwubuzima. Ubu bwisanzure nubutagira iherezo kandi bike birazira ko byoroshye gutwikira iyibwoba no gutabara abaho.
Nkuko, kurugero, gukura ni ugutanga amahirwe kubabyeyi babo bageze mu zabukuru kugirango barokoke ibyiyumvo bitandukanye kuri ibi, harimo no gutinya urupfu rwegereje, kandi muburyo bwabo bwo guhuza nubunararibonye, nta koroshya kandi ntibyemeze neza .
Ntabwo mvuga ibyo tugomba kwibagirwa byimazeyo ababyeyi banjye kandi twanga kubafasha. Ariko ugomba kureba uko impirimbanyi mubuzima wubaka. Ahari ibi ni kubangamiye imirimo yawe, umuryango wawe cyangwa nubwenge busanzwe. Noneho iki nikimenyetso cyiza cyo kuguma mugutera ibyiza.
Maria Dyachkova (Zebekova), Umuganga wa psychologue, Umuvuzi wumuryango, Umuvuzi wumuryango hamwe namahugurwa Yumuryango Yambere Yikigo cyigisha Mariya Khazin