Tatyana Ogorodnikova - Umukandida wa siyansi ya psychologiya, washinze ikigo cya Psychologiel Center Ikigo, umwanditsi uzwi cyane, umwanditsi wigitabo, cyangwa ninde wabaye umunyamasezerano nyayo kandi igitabo gisomwa muburusiya gukora ubushakashatsi Ikinyamakuru Ikinyamakuru. Umwanditsi w'igitabo "Byose bijyanye n'imibonano mpuzabitsina. 100 ku ijana by'intsinzi. Encyclopedia yimibonano mpuzabitsina. " Mamma Mia "," Producy ya firime n'imiziki ", kandi na nyina w'abakobwa batatu beza asubiza ibibazo by'uwandikirana ku rukundo no gushyingirwa.
"Tatiana, nzatangirana n'ikibazo gitunguranye: Wizera ubukwe n'itandukaniro rinini mu myaka?" Niba abagore barushijeho gukomera, noneho umugabo muto cyane kurenza umugore arayobewe. Ni irihe tandukaniro riri mu bihe muri uru rubanza, kugirango tutakekesha imodoka kuruhande?
- Mu bashakanye - Ndizera. Mu rukundo - hamwe no kwihanganira ibintu byinshi. Nizera ko umukinnyi wumusore ashobora gukundana nta kwibuka mu kigirwamana cye - umukinnyi w'inararibonye kandi uzwi. Nizera ko ishema ryumuntu ugeze mu za bukuru uzanyurwa rwose mugihe umukobwa muto yemeye urukundo. Nizera ko urukundo rwinshi rubaho, ariko ntabwo ari bwinshi gusa nkuko dufite. Niba kuva ku manza ijana z'abantu bakuze - umusore kumenya ubu, noneho imibare nk'iyi irashimishije cyane cyangwa nke. Kubera iki, urabaza. Nibyo, kubera ko icyitegererezo kidasanzwe: Kuberako impamvu runaka umugabo ufitanye isano nigihe umuntu ufitanye isano numuntu ufite umutekano. Niba umukobwa akunda Pansiyo gusa, reka urukundo rwe mu kigo cyita ku bageze mu za bukuru.
Ni nako bigenda ku bagore. Nibyo, habaye ubugororangingo bwurwego rwo guhuza imibonano mpuzabitsina na psychologique. Bikekwa ko ku rwego rwa HORMAL rw'abagabo b'imyaka 25 cyane bafitanye isano n'abagore bo mu myaka 40-45. Byongeye kandi, urubyiruko rwinshi ntirubona ururimi rusanzwe hamwe na bagenzi babo. Kuva hano - imanza zurukundo mubadamu bakuze benshi. Ariko umubare munini wa Alphofs ukorera muri iri soko, ukoresheje imitekerereze yabagore, kimwe numubare udahagije nubwiza bwabagabo bacu. Naho uburemere bwimyaka kubashakanye, umugabo - umugabo, natanga byinshi mumyaka icumi. Ni ku bashakanye. Kandi niba ubuzima, nkuko abaganga bavuga, uko byagenda kose, ikibazo gifite uburyohe.
- Rimwe na rimwe uvuga inama zawe kubyerekeye ibihe byaka by'urukundo, kandi ni ibihe bihe bishobora gukorwa igihe kirekire? Ni ukuvuga, birashoboka kubyara urukundo? Kandi urukundo rufite ibikoresho bitandatu?
- Subiza muri make. Ariko nzagerageza. Itegeko rya mbere ni abakunda, kandi noneho - nkumwe hafi. Niki witeguye kubaho igihe kirekire, usa neza, kwinezeza, kuruhuka, gutuza, kwiyuhagira? Iri ni ibanga! Twese twifuza ubwabo - ubuzima, umunezero, urukundo. Nibyo, umunezero wa buri wese uratandukanye, ariko ntacyo bitwaye. Uwo uri mubitekerezo bigomba kwifuzwa na mugenzi wawe. Kandi mugihe cyurukundo Euphoria - inshuro ijana. Impamvu abantu biteguye guhindukirira isi, bagatanga ijambo, kubona inyenyeri ivuye mu kirere, yambaye ikiganza ku isanduku nibindi. Nibyo, uburebure nk'ubwo kwigaragaza, nk'ubutegetsi, mu ntangiriro, mu gihe gikomeye cy'urukundo. Nibyo, kuko urukundo ni ubusumbane burya dormon, kurenga ku ndwara, uburwayi, niba ubishaka. Nukubona, kubona urukundo nkuko bisanzwe atari byose. Ihame, ahubwo, umutungo wawe bwite, mugihe ufite ubukorikori ufite umugabo hamwe nabakunzi bawe. Yarabyemeye, yakoraga, azana ibitekerezo bye - bishinzwe. Bitabaye ibyo, kuki umusaza yahuye? Kwemeza imbere no kwihaza nka kamere niyonkunga nyamukuru yimibanire yigihe kirekire. Niki umufasha, ninde, ku ijambo ryambere rya bagenzi cyangwa inshuti zabakobwa, ahindura igitekerezo kijyanye numuntu wa hafi? Kugirango ugire ibihimbano bitanga ibyiyumvo ko oya, birakenewe cyane gukomera mubyumwuka - nuburyo bwo kugerageza kuba yoga, kuba mubuzima busanzwe bwo kubaka umubiri.
Ibikoresho bihebuje biri mu ishyaka, mu rukundo, gusenga. Uru rukundo ntirufite ibikoresho bitagira ingano. Kurugero, ababyeyi bakomeje gukunda abana babo kumyaka iyo ari yo yose, imbwa ninjangwe, dukunda ubuzima bwabo bwose, bityo turuta urukundo hagati yumugabo numugore babonye buriwese?
Nibyo, kwerekana urukundo mugihe birimo guhinduka, ntabwo abantu bose bashobora gukiza ibyiyumvo byabo kugeza iminsi irangiye. Kugirango utatakaza urukundo munzira igana gusaza, ugomba gusa guhagarika gusubiramo umuntu ukunda, kubwawe wenyine. N'ubundi kandi, yitabye mu buzima bwawe uko afite - hamwe n'abandi babyeyi, hamwe na genes, hamwe n'imiterere yayo. Bikwiye kumvikana ko niba umukunzi wawe ahindutse undi muntu, azareka kukugirira nabi.
- Hano uravuga ko urukundo nyarwo ari inshingano. Kuri benshi, inshingano ni imyumvire. Noneho kuki kumva icyaha nimyenda byica umuntu wigitsina kumugabo?
"Birashoboka cane, kuko inyiyumvo izo ibihano na ubukuru kurambika buryo mu kanwa umugore wari rimwe igishika, ikibabarwe, anezerewe kandi nkunda. Nyuma ya byose, itandukaniro riri hagati yumugabo numugore ntabwo ari muburyo bw'ubwonko nuburinganire. Kwiyaza k'umugore biri mu rugo, abantu bari hanze. Arenze ku muryango, ahindukirira umwami, akamwubaha, bafatwa nk'ibiti, ni ngombwa, birakenewe. Gusa ninjiye murugo - ni umwenda uhoraho kandi watsinzwe. Igice kimwe cyubwonko kirimo, kibuza kwifuza kwimibonano mpuzabitsina: Nigute ushobora gushaka kugira umugore ugomba guhora? Azakenera kandi ikintu!
- Niba umugabo asigaye, uko umugore ashobora kurokora ubukwe, agarura umukunzi we mumuryango we, ntabwo "amubona"?
- Ntabwo nkeneye kurokora ishyingiranwa. Birakenewe kumva ukuntu uyu muntu ari ngombwa kuri wewe. Yakoze amakosa cyangwa abishaka yahisemo guhindura ubuzima. Uyu munsi, gutandukana ntibisanzwe. Kubwamahirwe, igihe kirageze ngo tumenyere ko abagabo bashaka kubaho mubuzima buke. Nukuri, mubagore, na rimwe, rimwe na rimwe biragaragara. Ariko iyo ufite inshingano kubana ku bitugu, ntuzagira cyane cyane cyane ubuzima, ugomba kubanza gushyira abana ibirenge, undi. Ahari ubwo bwoba no kwishingikiriza kubintu - kandi hariho impamvu zo kwifuza "kugaruka" umugabo mumuryango. Urukundo hano ni iki?
Ariko niba hari urukundo kandi hariho gusobanukirwa numugabo watorotse ari - Iherezo ryawe, ubanza, umva wowe ubwawe, uriteguye kumubabarira ukabifata. Birumvikana ko impulse ya mbere igomba gusubiza "Yego." Ariko sinshaka kuvuga bisanzwe kubabarira, ariko kwibagirwa icyaha, ntabwo ari ugusesengura amakosa yanjye kandi bagerageza guhindura ibintu byinshi kandi bagerageza guhindura ibintu byiza cyane gusura uwo bashakanye bakubonye ukunda, utuje, ufunguye, ufunguye, ufunguye, ufunguye, ufunguye, ufunguye, ufunguye, ufunguye, ufunguye, ufunguye, ufunguye, ufunguye, ufunguye, ufunguye, ufunguye, ufunguye, ufunguye, ufunguye, ufunguye, ufunguye, ufunguye, ufunguye, ufunguye, ufunguye, ufunguye, ufunguye, ufunguye, ufunguye, ufunguye, ufunguye, ufunguye, ufunguye, ufunguye, ufunguye, ufunguye, ufunguye, ufunguye, ufunguye, ufunguye, ufunguye, urahinduka. Ku buryo yashakaga kugumana nawe - uwo warabaye kuri we mbere.
- n'urwego rw'ubwisanzure bw'umugabo? Ashobora iki, ariko kubera iki? Imipaka irihe? Nigute ushobora kugenzura?
- Urwego rwubwisanzure bwa buri muntu rugena umuntu ubwe. Niba ari umunyantege nke kandi ugakoporora ibidukikije cyangwa gukoporora imyitwarire yikigirwamana cye - urwego rwubwisanzure, ahubwo, kubinyuranye nibyo, kwishingikiriza kuri ubu bwoko butagira imipaka. Azitwara nk'imyambarire, nkuko inshuti zabo zemeza, nkuko umukara yitwara cyangwa umuvandimwe watsinze. Birashoboka, iki ni igitekerezo cyanjye, ariko nizera ko ntamuntu utunganye: Hariho ibishuko byinshi, abantu bafite intege nke, ntibagira kwizera kwukuri, cyangwa Ikigo cyibihano kuntege nke zumwuka. Birashoboka, amakosa amwe yimyitwarire arabyemewe, ariko ntukore aya makosa kumugaragaro, ndetse nibindi byinshi. Birakwiye gusa kwishyiriraho umwanya wumugore wanjye no kwiyumvisha ko ari mugihe runaka akora ikintu kimwe umuntu azabona? Kandi, kubera inzira, umugambanyi wumugore we nimwe mubitera ubwoba kubagabo hamwe no kubura nyina. Nyizera, abagore ntibahangayitse cyane. Gusa ntukore kubyerekeranye nikintu cya hafi ntigeze nkunda mubijyanye nawe wenyine. Iyo niyo mipaka yose.
Kugenzura uyu munsi byoroshye. Abanyamerika bazanye induru izwi cyane kuri iPhone, ba nyirayo bashobora kumva amafaranga 385, reba kandi basome ibyo bavuga byose, bakoze kandi bandika kugenzura. Ikibazo - Nkeneye? Niki ushaka kugeraho ukoresheje ubufasha bwo kugenzura? Shakisha Ukuri? Nyizera, uhangayikishijwe n '"abagenzuzi" bazagaragara mu nzirakarengane z'inzirakarengane ibyo bashaka kubona ...
- Noneho birashoboka ko umugabo ari mwiza kutigenzura, ariko agatanga gusobanukirwa nibyo wizera kandi akenshi uravuga ishimwe? Ni kangahe abagabo bakeneye kuvuga ishimwe? Kandi ni ubuhe buryo? Hariho inzira zumwimerere zo gushimisha uwo ukunda?
- Umugabo - Igikoresho ntabwo ari gito. Urwego rwa Coarse rushimishije rw'akanwa k'umugore ukora neza. Kurugero, niba abyibushye, uhore amubwira ko yatakaje ibiro, kandi ashishikazwa nuko yatsinze. Ushize amanga, andika mubitekerezo, ubwiza, ubururu, ubuntu, ibitekerezo byinshi no gukura kwiyongera, nubwo ibyo byose bitaramuka. Koresha interuro nka "Usibye wowe, ntamuntu numwe washoboraga ...". Ntiwibagirwe gushimangira igitsina cyumuntu wawe kubwanyu gusa.
Kandi ntugakore inzira - urukundo kandi ntuzibagirwe kubiganiraho. Kandi biracyaza - gerageza kwigumya cyane kugirango asobanukirwe ko ugerageza.