Mama uwo ari we wese azi ko umwana amerewe neza kandi yoroshye gusinzira mu buriri bw'ababyeyi: Mugihe hariho umwana wimbitse, yumva mama wifashe neza, bityo biroroshye kubona insanganyamatsiko, uburwayi ndetse ninzozi.
Ariko umunsi uzagera ryari, cyangwa ahubwo, ijoro mugihe ibyo aribyo byose umwana ari mwiza gusinzira wenyine?
Ndetse no kubijyanye ninzozi zose, ibibazo nindwara?
Nigute ushobora kubyakira nyoko igihe umuhungu we mukuru asabye kumwe na we. So agomba kwitwara kubisabwa numukobwa? Emera, mumutwe wanjye, ibitekerezo byijimye cyane biragaragara, kandi ntabwo ari na gato kubyerekeye kurera ababyeyi.
Birabujijwe muri societe nyinshi ingingo yo kuryamana ntabwo zishingiye cyane mubyukuri. Ntabwo yaganiriweho, ariko mu muco wa none, ikibabaje, kirasanzwe. Nsece ifatwa nk'imibonano mpuzabitsina hagati y'abavandimwe ba hafi mu ishami ryo hepfo cyangwa hejuru: hagati y'abana n'ababyeyi, hagati y'abana mu muryango umwe. Ariko, mugihe mumuco wu Burusiya, ijambo "guhohoterwa" rizwi muburengerazuba ryari rikomeje cyane - ni ukuvuga ko ukoresha. Guhuza imibonano mpuzabitsina ntibishobora kuba, ariko umuntu akoreshwa mubitekerezo byabo kandi akamwitwara hamwe, ashingiye kuri iki gitekerezo.
Kurugero, mumuryango, aho nyina na se barushijeho kuvana, umukobwa muto arashobora gusimbura rwose se wumugore we nkunda. Ahari ntazamukoraho urutoki, ahubwo azambara, akatondaga, kwiyuhagira no gushimira no gukurikiranira ishyari uburemere. Muri rusange, kwitwara nkumugabo wumukobwa we bwite. Cyangwa umubyeyi arashobora kugerageza ku mwana wambaye imyenda mishya, ntuzomenya kwibagirwa gufunga umuryango ugana mu bwiherero, utegereze indabyo ku ya 8 Werurwe, ushimire umuhungu wawe amaboko akomeye, ahora. Nubwo bishobora gukemura iki gikorwa kumugabo we.
By the was, abana mumiryango nkuyu bakunda kubona neza ko kubijyanye na bo ababyeyi bitwara neza. Ntabwo bishoboka ko umuhungu azababwira inshuti ze ko nyina agoroza ko ari umuzimu, kandi umukobwa ntazavuga ko abakobwa be benshi ko papa azi ubunini bw'Igitare cye. Byimazeyo kumenya ko intera iri hagati yabo n'ababyeyi barenze. Kandi nibyiza guceceka kubyerekeye, kuko bitabaye ibyo, ushobora gusuzugurwa no kwigunga mu nshuti zawe.
Imyaka ya psychologiya itangira imyaka 9-12 kugeza ingimbi zikiri bato. Ni ukuvuga, umwana ukuze phamesiologique, psychologique, yitegura guturika hajyarya hormonali hamwe nuburyo bukabije bwimibare yimibonano mpuzabitsina. Byongeye kandi, ubwigenge bwuzuye kubabyeyi bumaze gutera imbere kuri iki gihe: Inyungu zayo, injyana zacyo, inshuti, impengamiro nibyishimisha, impano zabo, imikino yabo.
Hariho igitekerezo cyimipaka yacyo, umwanya wimbitse ushobora kujyamo ubutumire. Niyo mpamvu hamwe ninshuti imwe ikinira ku ishuri gusa, undi arashobora gutumirwa no murugo. Bamwe mubantu batuye bene wabo ahobera, numuntu kurenga. Kandi uburiri bwawe bwite ni ahantu ho kwidagadura rwose no kwigunga nawe. Shigikira umwana wawe mugushiraho ibi bikorwa ninshingano yababyeyi. Ariko benshi ntabwo mbere yibyo. Abana baba inzira yo gukoresha, kwihorera no kwerekana ko badakunda.
Byabaye kumva ko nyina ajya kuryama hamwe n'umuhungu we, umugabo we yarimbutse mu cyumba. Nibisobanuro byemewe, ariko mubyukuri ni inzira yababyeyi kugirango babwire buri wese ko bibagiwe. Muri icyo gihe, nyina ashimangira ko abagabo be bakomeza gukunda no kubikenera. Kandi uyu muntu abe umuhungu we bwite. Birumvikana ko ibyo byose atari intego mbi. Ibikorwa nkibi n'impamvu zabo ntibikunze kumenyekana.
Birumvikana ko mumiryango ifite abana b'ingimbi ndetse n'abato bato, ubwoko nk'ubwo bw'imyitwarire ni ukugenda kw'ababyeyi ku busambanyi bushoboka. Kandi ingingo hano ntabwo iri mubigukora kumugabo we cyangwa umugore. Bombi bahitamo uburyo nk'ubwo, kwandika kwanga ibibazo byo gusinzira mubana.
Ibi akenshi bibaho mumiryango itangazwa numugani nuko "ubuzima bwose kubana." Noneho urashobora gufunga amaso kandi "uzigame" abana kuva kera kubindi bice byo kubana mu mpera z'ikigo. Ibera kandi mumiryango yizera umugani "turi inshuti." Noneho nta banga bari hagati y'abagize umuryango, ariko, mubyongeyeho, n'umupaka ku giti cye. Kubwibyo, buriwese akina inshingano nyinshi kuri buri wese. Umuhungu usimbuye Data, umukobwa - Mama, nibindi.
Birakwiye kuvuga ko bigoye ko abana bahagarika iyi myitwarire yimyitwarire. Nabo, nkumunyururu utishoboye, uhuze nibikenewe mumuryango kugirango babungabunge uburimbane bunyeganyega hagati yababyeyi. Niba umuhungu wumuhungu hamwe na mama akiza umuryango udusimbateri, gutega no gutandukana, azahindukira. Kandi umukobwa nawe azashobora "gukiza" se gucika intege mu mugore we.
Kubwibyo, ababyeyi bahangayikishijwe n'iki kibazo bagomba guhitamo niba bashaka gukoresha abana babo kugirango babone umubano mumuryango? Ikintu kigoye muribi ntabwo ari ukugerageza kwihisha inyuma yimpaka zikiranuka ko byose bikorwa gusa.
Ibintu bibi ku bana bakuze bizaba biteye isoni kubera ubwabo no kumva inshingano, bazaha ababyeyi ubuzima bwabo bwose.
Maria Dyachkova, umuganga wa psychologue, umuvuzi wumuryango, amahugurwa yambere yibikorwa byimikurire yimyidagaduro Marika Khazin