"Ndashaka umwana, ariko mfite ubwoba." Aya magambo agomba kumva kenshi kurenza uko nshaka. Kandi bavuga ko abagore babo bafite imyaka 30, bose baratsinze kandi bahoraho. Byasa nkaho intego zose zijyanye na "kugira ikintu" cyangwa "ube umuntu" ku rutugu. Umwuga, amazu, amashanyarazi, imashini, ingendo & ibyabaye, inshuti, kwishimisha - byoroshye! Ariko abana - Oya! Birateye ubwoba kureka ubuzima bubaho, no kungurana ibinezeza bidasobanutse bivuye kumpapuro, impapuro, agenda muri parike hamwe na gare kandi umwana arataka.
Ariko ibi ntibibaho na buri wese, abana kuva benshi barabyawe, nubwo ubwoba n'ubwoba.
None ni ikihe? Bigaragara ko umukobwa ukiri muto wumukobwa utoroshye atinya kuba umubyeyi kandi ntuzigere umuhinduka?
Paradox nuko kwitegura kuba umubyeyi biterwa nibintu byinshi, kandi akenshi utwitegura kwitegura kuza gukura nyuma yimyaka rusange yimyaka yababyeyi.
Ibintu nkibi byitwa "Imibereho mvugo". Kumyaka n'imibereho myiza, imyaka 30, birakenewe ko dushaka kubyara cyangwa kuba umubyeyi byibuze umwana umwe. Icyifuzo cyo kuba gisunika umugore kugirango yizere ko umwana ari mwiza kandi mwiza, nubwo mubyukuri atinya abana! Cyangwa ahubwo, ni ibihe bikoresho byiza byubuzima bizagomba kujya kuba nyina. Mugukurikirana gahunda yumuryango, umugore yihatira kwinjira "ibisanzwe", yihishe no gusunika ubwoba bwabo bwo gusama.
Usibye ibitekerezo rusange kumyaka isanzwe mububyeyi, hariho ubwoba bwo gutwita cyangwa kubyara .. muburyo bwinshi, buteganijwe nuburambe bwabantu bufitanye isano nabana. Akenshi, birakenewe kumva ibijyanye no gukuramo inda byagombaga gukorwa ku rubyiruko mugihe nta muntu wagiriwe inama kubyerekeye icyemezo nkicyo cyerekeye icyemezo nkicyo. Hamwe n'imyaka, icyifuzo cyo kuba umubyeyi gikura, ariko uburambe bwa nyuma butegeka ubushake bwe. Rwose "Mu mwanya umwe 'umugore yiyemerera ati:" Ndashaka umwana, ariko mfite ubwoba. "N'ubundi, gutwita bizaza kwibutsa ibyaha bya nyuma, ibyiyumvo bye n'isoni, akenshi Uburambe bubikwa ibanga kubakunzi.
Gutinya kubyara, ukurikije abavuzi b'umuryango no mu rwego rwo kubyara no mu rwego rwo kubyara, na byo bimurirwa mu murage. Ububabare bwose bwo kubabara, imibabaro yegeranijwe mu rwego utazi ubwenge bw'umuryango itangwa mu bitekerezo by'abagore ba kijyambere ku byerekeye abana ba kijyambere ku bijyanye no kuvuka kw'abana: mu gutabaza, ingaruka ziteye ubwoba zo kubyara. Nubwo noneho kuba urinda Mama NUZUGA N'UBWANA BURUNDU, uburambe bwose bw'ibiti, ndetse n'imibanire minini ya societe, ndetse no ku mibanire mibi ya societe, ndetse n'abagore batwite - nubwo abantu bose baba gutinya abagore muburyo bumwe bwo gutwita.
Na we akwirakwira "ariko" kubyerekeye ububyeyi - "umugabo ntashaka." Mu biro bya psychologue, biragaragara ko batinya byombi. Umwana kandi ni ikizamini cyose kiriho muri pares. Kandi kenshi, kugirango utazunguza ubuyahame, ahubwo ni uguringaniza, hamwe nanga kuvuka kw'abana mubihe byiza. Murutara nta bashakanye, kubyara umwana bisobanura isano yabo nk'abagabo n'abagore mubuzima, byibuze muruhare rwababyeyi. Kandi iyi niyo ntambwe itameze neza, kuko noneho irashobora kuboneka ko byombi bizananirana mu nama hamwe numukunzi ukwiye. Cyangwa kuvuka k'umwana bizatuma akaduruvayo mwisi yashizweho yumugereka ukomeye kuri mugenzi wawe. Ahari ubu bucuti bwari bumaze kubisabwa kandi bukenewe, ariko muri rusange atoroshye kuburyo iterabwoba ryose rishobora kubikwa kure, harimo kubyara umwana. Uzabitekerezaho, birashoboka ko wabaye guhura numugabo n'umugore n'abagore beza bagenzi babo, umubano wabo ni ubwitonzi bwabo, ndetse nabyo, kuko nabyo ntibishoboka kubaka umubano numuntu wese - uwa kabiri Menya ibintu byose. Ikibanza cya gatatu ntabwo gitangwa na gato, abashakanye ni uburinzi bwa Mirka yabo. Umwana muri uru rubanza ni uwateye. Kandi ivuka rye rizasubikwa atabishaka, nubwo bombi bagomba kumushaka. No ku kizamini cyo gutwita, umurongo umwe gusa uzaba mwiza.
Kandi ibi nibice byibyabaye gusa bifitanye isano nababyeyi - ububyeyi nigitambo, bishobora kuba birebire. Kandi mubiganiro wenyine, ibisubizo ntibiboneke. Ariko kugirango ubone imyumvire idasanzwe, ushobora kuba wireba wenyine n'imyitwarire yawe ku ngingo ya byanze bikunze, nk'amahitamo, niba tugomba kuba umubyeyi ...
Maria Dyachkova, umuganga wa psychologue, umuvuzi wumuryango, amahugurwa yambere yibikorwa byimikurire yimyidagaduro Marika Khazin