Muri societe ya none, hariho icyerekezo kinini kugirango gifasha umugore gusama no kuba umubyeyi: amakuru, ubuvuzi, imitekerereze, ibyangiritse, esoteric nibindi.
Nibyo, kandi gushiraho societe ubwayo batangira gukora mugushyigikira abagore. Kuva kuri fagitire nibyapa, ubu ko ubu umwaka wumuryango, ubwana, ubwana, ushikamye ukwemera kwagaragaye mumutwe ko umugore ari mbere ya nyina.
Ariko, nta manza iyo atwite itabaho. Niba umugore akora ibintu byose kugirango abe umubyeyi, ubwo bwenge butandukanye bwubuvuzi, kubyara ibigo byayo, ubushakashatsi bwubushobozi bwayo bwo gusama no gutekereza kuri assint. Ibyamamare ni ukunguka ibigo bya inteko.
Ndetse no mubitangaza byubuvuzi bugezweho, ibyabaye byari bitegerejwe ntibishobora kuza. Niba kandi bibaye, birangira vuba kandi biteje agaciro.
Ntabwo tuzacira urubanza mu buvuzi, kubera ko usoma ingingo ntandika nk'imiti.
Reka dusuzume amahitamo menshi kubwimpamvu nyamukuru umubyeyi bigoye kuba. Kandi abayoko bato babamenya, abakomeye barushaho guhangana nikibazo gusa, niko kugerageza kwabo.
Icya mbere, imibereho myiza. Ibi ni kugereranya nawe nibidukikije. Ibi birasobanutse neza "gufasha" imbuga nkoranyambaga. Abanyeshuri bigana bose basanzwe basanzwe, cyangwa ndetse nabana babiri, kandi umuntu ntashobora no gukura gukenera kuba umubyeyi imbere. Umugore nk'uwo yibanze cyane ku gitekerezo cya societe, kuko imbere y '"rubanda" agerageza kuba "." Arimo kugerageza kubyara, ntabwo ashaka rwose ibi, ahubwo, kubera amatiku. "My 30-32-33-35 hashize igihe kinini." Ariko umubiri we ufite ubwenge kandi uri inyangamugayo kubyenewe ko ari ngombwa kuba nyina nonaha, kuko ntatanga umusanzu mu gutwita ndetse no mu gitekerezo. Kwitegura kuba umubyeyi weze kandi, nkuko bisanzwe mumubiri bizazeza umwana. Kandi inzira nyayo bwite irangiriye neza mugihe umugore arenze ibyiciro runaka: kurema kubagore, ishyaka ryiyongereyeho, guhura nabo ubwabo, guhura numufatanyabikorwa no gukomeza ubucuti mubana. Ubu buryo ni umuntu ku giti cye, rero ntibishoboka kuvuga ko guhera imyaka 30 buri mugore agomba kunyura. Mbere ya byose, biterwa numugore runaka, amateka yayo, ibizaza nubushobozi bwo kumenya ubwabo numurimo wabo wumugore.
Icya kabiri, kwizerwa. Iki nikimwe mubikenewe byibanze byabantu muri rusange, ndetse birenze kubana cyane abagore bitegura gusama. Mubikorwa byanjye, hari ibibazo abagore baza ku "icyo gukora nanjye kuba umubyeyi," kandi kubwibyo, byagaragaye ko babana nabagabo badashobora kwizera byimazeyo. Umubiri wabo warozwe na adrenaline, kubera ko abagabo babo banywa, bakubita, bagahinduka cyangwa babaho bakoresheje abagore babo. Ibintu bigaragazwa numugore nkumutekano udafite urubyaro, bityo utwite ntirabaho. Akenshi abagore nkabo batsindishiriza abagabo babo, ariko kamere y'abagore bafite ubwenge muri twe iragoye kubeshya. Amateka ya hormone ateza imbere gusama yaremwe mumubiri mugihe umugore anyuzwe, arinzwe kandi anyurwa nuburyo mugenzi we amwitayeho. Birumvikana ko hari ibibazo byinshi binyuranyije niya magambo mugihe atwite izaza ahubwo binyuranye. Ariko, turimo tuvuga impamvu zisanzwe, ni ukubera iki umwana utegerejwe kuva kera adakora.
Icya gatatu, ibintu byumuryango hamwe ningaruka zumurage wumugore. Byasa nkaho byakugiramo ingaruka kuburyo abagore babayeho kandi bakabyara abana ibisekuruza byinshi bishize? Kandi hano hari abantu babyaranye cyangwa bababaye. Ariko, hariho ubushakashatsi bwinshi bwerekana ko inkuru yumutwe wacu wumugore itugira izihe ngaruka.
Umuvuzi uzwi cyane Ansepite Schitsisber mubyigisho bye "Dandrome" arahungabana, adafite uburambe kandi akomeza kugumana mu ibanga ry'ibyabaye mu miryango itandukanye mu bisekuru bitandukanye.
Kurugero, urupfu rwumwana cyangwa nyina mugihe cyo kubyara, igihombo kibabaza no gutandukana nabana, basubiwemo buri gihe nabakobwa bo muri abo bagore babibonye. Biragoye gusubiza ikibazo: "Ibi bibaho bite?" cyangwa "Kubera iki?". Hariho imibare gusa ingorane zo gusama zirashobora kuba ibintu rusange.
Cyangwa ubundi, "ubuzima bwose kubana" ni credo yumuryango. Kandi ibisekuru byinshi ubuzima bwababyeyi burangiye abana bahise bagaragara. Bahagaritse kubaho ubwabo, ihuriro ryatakaye hagati y'abashakanye, abantu bose batambiraga umwana ukura. Akenshi ushobora kumva ku bagore bakuze mu miryango nk'iyi ko "umwana ari iherezo ry'ubuzima bwanjye nkunda." Ndetse no kugerageza gusama, gutwita ntibibaho, kuko umugore akurura uko "imperuka."
Muri rusange, ingingo nini cyane kuburyo bidashoboka kwandika ingingo, ariko amakuru nyayo yo kwiga kubwimpamvu za psychologiya zibangamira ingorane zo gusama. Witondere gukomeza kubiganiraho, none?
Maria Dyachkova, umuganga wa psychologue, umuvuzi wumuryango, amahugurwa yambere yibikorwa byimikurire yimyidagaduro Marika Khazin