Ukuntu wari mwiza cyane muburiri watangiye urujijo numubare wimibare, kandi abaturanyi barambiwe gukomanga kurukuta? Nkwiye gushimira umukunzi?
Mbere ya byose, ibuka ko bitemewe gusingiza umuntu - nta mibonano mpuzabitsina kubintu byose. Yasingiza uwaturutse hejuru: umutware w'abayoborwa, nyina w'umwana. Niba uhisemo gusingiza umugabo, uzasangamo amahitamo atatu yo guteza imbere ibintu. Ihitamo ni iyambere: Uzonda ku bupfura, icyuma, ubwoko runaka. Ihitamo rya kabiri: Umugabo azagusiga. Ako kanya cyangwa udahita, ariko ntibizashimisha mubidukikije. Kandi inzira ya gatatu: Uzakura umuhungu iruhande rwawe, ntabwo ari umuntu, ahubwo ni umuhungu. Birumvikana ko atazasiga ahantu hose, ariko muzaba umukunzi we, kuko ukomera, ubwenge, ubishinzwe nibindi.
Niki? Umugabo akeneye kwishima, kuko kwishima ntabwo ari umwanya hejuru, umwanya ungana cyangwa uhereye hasi - ariko ntabwo hejuru.
Nigute ushobora kwishimira umugabo? Ikintu cyingenzi ntabwo ari form, ariko ibirimo. Tugomba kwishima mubyukuri, tubishima, kandi niba aribyo, ifishi ntabwo ari ngombwa. Birashobora kuba isura, no kumwenyura, hamwe ninteruro zidasobanutse - niba wishimiye, nibasobanukirwa uyu mugabo byoroshye, kwishima bivamo hamwe nigikorwa icyo aricyo cyose cyerekeza kumugabo. Niba udashimwa, uravuga, ibintu byose bizaba ibinyoma, kandi umugabo azumva. Birashoboka ko atari ubwambere, ntabwo buri gihe, ariko ntabwo bizakora.
Ni iki kidakwiye gukorwa? Niba ushaka kuvuga umuntu, ntugomba gukoresha ijambo "byinshi": "ashyushye", "gukundwa cyane", "kuki? Kubera iki? Kuberako iri jambo rifata ko hari abandi bagabo, uragereranya. Umugabo ntazashimisha kuba mubihe bisuzumwa no ugereranije nabandi. Kandi muri rusange, ntugomba kugereranya, ntugomba kuvuga ngo "uri mwiza", "uruta abantu bose", umugabo agomba kumva ko ari we wambere kandi umwe umwe rukumbi. Ugomba gutangaza ko ariwe wenyine kuri wewe, kugirango ibintu byose bifitanye isano no kugereranya bigomba kuvaho.
Ntukibande kuri dick ye, ntugomba kumushimira no kubashimira. Hamwe numugabo wumugabo, ubwoko bwose burashobora guhuzwa, kandi biragoye kwiyumvisha ubwoko bugoye. Urashobora kwishimira umunyamuryango gusa niba uri mumyaka myinshi kandi umva neza umubiri wose, uziko ibigo byose, nibindi mumibanire ya vuba, nibyiza kurenga iyi ngingo.
Tugomba kumenya igipimo. Gushimishwa no gushimira bitanga imbaraga nziza cyane, ariko niba baje guhorana kandi hamwe numugezi ukomeye, hanyuma nyuma yigihe gito bazahinduka amateka ahora atatera amarangamutima. Cyangwa bizafatwa nkibinezeza: nkaho ushaka ikintu kuri we bityo rero uhinga ishimwe.
Nibyiza cyane niba ugaragaje imbaraga nyuma, ahubwo no mugihe cyimibonano mpuzabitsina. Kandi inzira nziza yo kubikora nukuvuga kubyerekeye ibyiyumvo byawe. Rero, nukuvuga, urashobora guha icyubahiro umunyamuryango wumufatanyabikorwa. "Ikinini cyawe ni ikihe!", "Ndabikunda cyane!" - ntabwo ari imvugo itemewe. Ariko urashobora kuvuga uti: "Nkunda igituba cyawe cyane!" Cyangwa "Nkunda rero iyo uri muri njye!" Ni ukuvuga, ntuvuga icyo umunyamuryango afite, ariko kubyo wumva bijyanye numunyamuryango we, kandi ntigishobora kurakara cyangwa kwiyuhagira ni verisiyo yatsinze.
Kandi muri rusange, ishimwe ryose riruta kubikora binyuze muri "I" - Impamyabumenyi: "Nkunda amaboko yawe cyane" Kuganira kuri mugenzi wawe.
Abagabo ni ibiremwa bifite agaciro gakomeye, bakeneye rwose ishimwe ryanyu, bashishikaye, kandi urashobora, kumwakira ibipimo, amwambika imbere, perifuriya mike. Ibi bizagira uruhare mu kuzamurwa mu ntera, iterambere ryayo, no mu minsi ya vuba ntibizaba iterambere, kandi bizabera mubyukuri mubuzima bwawe. Nanone, abagabo ni ngombwa cyane kwakira ko ibintu byose byari byiza, bityo rero ko uzagaragaza ko ushimwa no gushimira bizaganisha ku iterambere ry'umubano wawe muri rusange no mu mibonano mpuzabitsina byumwihariko.