Turasenya umubano wawe wurukundo hamwe nibitekerezo nkibi! Kuki umutware ukora ikintu cyangwa ibi, adahamagarira ikamba, uburyo bwo guhagarika imibabaro i ... hari ibyiyumvo, usibye urukundo, ntakintu kibaho mubuzima. Ariko haracyariho ubucuti. Byasaga, uzabivugaho iki? Abahanga mu by'imitekerereze barashobora, kandi byinshi: Kurugero, ntabishoboka byo kuvugana ninshuti nta byishimo nyabyo. Twumva uburyo bwo guhitamo abantu batekereza kandi uwo udakwiyendikira "Abakobwa bakundana".
Kubijyanye n'imibanire y'urubyiruko abantu Varbolet ni hafi cyane kandi ifite ibara nko ku rukundo. Nzi neza ko uzashobora kwibuka imigani cyangwa amagambo menshi kuriyi ngingo. "Mbwira uri inshuti yawe, nanjye nzavuga uwo uri we" - umwe mu baturage kandi icyarimwe amagambo atavugwaho rumwe. Ariko, itumanuwe kubahakanye gusa: ibidukikije ni indorerwamo yimiterere yawe. Birumvikana ko bidakwiye kubona iki gitekerezo, ariko kumenya impamvu wihimmo mu bavoka b'abantu runaka (cyangwa udahitamo umuntu) bizaba ingirakamaro. Genda!
Amasezerano meza
Nkuko bikwiye, ndambiwe abasomyi, ndahora mboherereze kwibuka kare, - ariko icyo gukora, twese dukomoka mubana! By the way, ndibuka uburyo byoroshye guhuza nabantu bashya mfite imyaka itanu, icumi, na cumi na batanu. "Reka tube inshuti?" Byasobanuye ubutumire ku isi aho utari wenyine, aho ufite amakariso, abogo, ibyitso, amaherezo ushobora kugenzura. Kandi icyarimwe, byari bikaze kandi birababaje cyane kumva: "Ntabwo ndi inshuti nawe!" Ninde umeze, ariko uburambe bujyanye ninshuti bwasezeranijwe byuzuye; Ku mitima yabahungu gusa ntabwo yabuze imbaraga cyangwa igihe.
Abahanga mu by'imitekerereze bafite icyizere: nta kuvugana n'inshuti, umunezero ntubaho
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Bikunze kubaho mubitero bya kera - Abana bahuriza hamwe haba murungano hamwe nabasore bakuru bafite akamaro ikipe n'ahantu kwizewe muri yo. Ibi birasobanuwe: Abakurambere bacu ba mbere bakoze kimwe natwe mubana, hamwe nabana bacu. Nta sosiyete, uzarimbuka - kandi niba uyu munsi turi mu buryo bw'ikigereranyo, hanyuma mu buseke bw'umuco w'abantu kubura itumanaho n'abandi basobanuraga urupfu rusanzwe. Wenyine ntabwo yagiye guhiga, ntarinze aho utuye, ntabwo yakurikije imitima, ntiyakuyeho urubyaro. Kuba hamwe byari bifite akamaro kandi bifite umutekano.
Ariko "byunguka kandi neza" - ntabwo aribyo ku gusobanukirwa bigezweho byubucuti, sibyo? Nibyo, abafilozofe benshi bazatongana nawe, wijeje ko inshuti zizerwa ziza mubumwe kubwinyungu. Muri bo, Larancyfo, wahamagaye ubucuti bw'ubucuruzi. Ndashaka gutongana nabanyangayi ryumusengana: niyo abakurambere bacu ba kure bakoresheje ubucuti bwubuntu, hanyuma bakomeza iterambere rya societe, byahweze kumera nkubu umubano wubucuruzi kandi ukureho ikintu cyubucuruzi kandi cyakuze gitandukanye rwose. Ni "ikintu" - hano duhura nurukundo, no kwitanga, no kwihangana, no gufashanya. Igihe kimwe, Aristote yarenze ubucuti, kubitandukanya nubundi mibanire kandi ashimangira: biranyurwa nibishoboka, udasabye bikwiye. Philosopher yavuze ku kimenyetso nyamukuru gitandukanya ubucuti - kubyerekeye ingorane. Nuburyo bushyira inzu ubumwe bwa gicuti, bitandukanya no kubijyanye. Nyuma ya byose, buriwese dufite amahirwe yo kwihitiramo, mugihe abavandimwe, bashiki bacu, bashiki bacu, ba nyina na ba se (ndetse nabana) dushobora gufata (cyangwa kutabyemera) gusa. Rero, ubucuti nubusabane bushingiye ku cyifuzo cyashakishijwe no gushyikirana, kwizerana, kubaha, inyungu. Ariko impamvu bibaho ko bamwe bakomeza kubana natwe mubuzima bwose, abandi bakazimya inzira yacu? Ibi bivuze ko turi inshuti itari yo? Nigute wakiza isano ikomeye kandi birakwiye gukora ibi?
Imyitozo ngororamubiri
Mu ruziga rwa hafi cyangwa kure ya benshi muritwe harimo umusore ukomoka mu bwinjiriro buturanye, umukobwa wasangiye ameza, inshuti mu gihugu. Iya mbere kandi rimwe na rimwe guhura byingenzi byinshuti bibaho, nkuko nabivuze, mubana. Abaterankunga ba psychologue ntibasobanura ibi ntabwo bakoresheje imitekerereze ya mobile na Fluxible mu mutwe no kubura ibitekerezo bijyanye n'ukuntu "bikenewe." Uru rubanza ruhuza ibintu bitatu, tubikesha ubucuti bwavutse: Vuga aho uhoraho yinama, iterambere ryinshi hamwe nabantu bafite inyungu. Biragaragara ko igihe cyishuri cyaduhaye abantu benshi: twabonye buri gihe kandi tukiyongera hamwe, amaherezo, duhitamo "ibyabo", ryibanda ku ndangagaciro zisa.
Gerageza kugumana mubyitwa Umutima Uzenguruke gusa abo ushobora kwishingikiriza mugihe kitoroshye
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Kuki urufatiro rukomeye kandi rwizewe rwatanze igikoma? Ndanyibuka ko nasaga nkaho twahora turi kumwe numukunzi wumukunzi, burigihe - bishoboka bite ukundi? N'ubundi kandi, twasangiye, duhangayitse, turarira ndaseka hamwe. Ariko ubuzima hari ukuntu yadusunikiraga vuba: Navuye ku muhamagaro wanyuma, ibizamini byo kwinjira byashize, twagize urwego runini rwabanyeshuri, none tuziranye na rushya ruvuga mu mutwe w'inshuti nziza. Yoo, ariko ubu bunararibonye bwo gutandukana bwo gutandukana nintambwe iganisha kumubano wukuri. Hariho ubwoko bwa cheque: Urafunga, ukeneye? Guhinduka ibidukikije, ibyitwa ibintu bitatu byahagaritse gukora, kandi niba biri mu kaga "ikintu cyose" cyatakaye, "urashobora gufata imyanzuro. Niba kandi, nyuma yimyaka mirongo hamwe nibibazo birebire mu itumanaho urashobora guhamagara byoroshye - hano ni! Amacumbi yishuri yagumye ninshuti zanjye. Niba kandi tudashobora gutsinda uko ibintu byadushimishije, noneho hamwe nabyo byanyuze mu bukwe bwabo no gutandukana kwabuto no gutandukana kabiri, bimukira mu yindi mijyi n'ibihugu, kubyara, kwirukana bike ...
Hanyuma na none abaterankunga ba SmartCologue bashyiramo koperacks zabo eshanu, bashimangira: Kubwabucuti ugomba gukora byinshi, ariko sibyose. Iki gitekerezo gisaba ibisobanuro. Abahanga mubwenge bizeza ko gukomeza umubano muburyo bwose - ubucuruzi bukomeye. Hatabayeho kwigomwa bifatika, icyifuzo cyo kujya guhura, ubushake bwo gufasha no kuba hafi ntibishobora gukora, ariko niba ari umukino mumarembo rimwe, ntabwo bizatwara buji. Data yari ikiganza cye ubuzima bwe bwose mu ntoki n'inshuti imwe - basohotse mu kigo cy'incuke, bihumuriza ku ishuri, muri kaminuza, bazenguruka igihugu, bashyigikiye igihugu. Hanyuma hariho ikibazo abanyabwenge basobanura amagambo: "Ubucuti ubucuti, n'amafaranga atandukanye." Papa yahisemo gufasha inshuti ishaje, amaze kwiga kuburana no kuyicana kuva mu gihombo. Byasa nkaho igikorwa cyinshuti nyanshuti - ariko nyuma yiyo umubano wacitsemo ibice. Uwahoze ari umunyeshuri yaburiwe yazimiye avuye kuri radar, ntabwo yahamagaye, ntabwo yandikaga, yagaragaye gusa igihe afashaga afashijwe. Noneho ubumwe buvuye ku mutima buhindutse ibikorwa byaravuze ko larochescheus yavuze. Data yagerageje gukiza isano, ariko amaherezo nasanze ari byiza kureka uko ibintu bimeze. Yakoze ubucuti bwinshi, ariko yiyemeje guhagarika igihe. Birumvikana ko kubaho ibintu nkibi biragoye, ariko bikenewe. Gerageza gukomeza kwitwa umutima gusa gusa abo ushobora kwishingikiriza mugihe kitoroshye (kandi uwo wowe wenyine witeguye gutanga inkunga nubufasha mugihe icyo aricyo cyose). Ibyo ntabwo byanze bikunze biterana, ibiraro byaka, birahagije kugirango ufate umwanya na "isuku".
Benshi muritwe tumenyereye kwihanganira kutitaho ibintu no gukora. Kwihangana ni ikintu cyingirakamaro imico, ariko ntigomba kuba umurongo ngenderwaho. Ibidukikije biratugiraho ingaruka - rero birakwiye rero kuguma mubateguye kugukoresha, ariko ntashaka gutanga ikintu na kimwe mubisubizo? Inshuti yanjye, nibeshya byanditswe vuba mu nshuti (icyo gukora, ndi umuntu ufunguye kandi wivanze), uhangayikishijwe n'ikibazo kitoroshye, gihangayikishije uwo twashakanye. Ntabwo rwose yari yoroshye: umwe mu mujyi wundi, nta nkunga, guhatirwa gukora mumirimo ibiri. Ariko, nagize kandi kubyerekeye ibintu bimwe, bityo rero ubufasha bwasaga nkuburyo bwonyine bukwiye. Igihe cyashize, maze ntangira kubona ko muri ubu bucuti nkora nk'imikorere. Niba ukeneye gufata umuntu, kugirango ugure ikintu, umva, kuba "vest", nari nkenewe. Ariko iyo igitugu cya gicuti cyarasabwaga, buri gihe haba impamvu zimwe zo kwanga. Nkigisubizo, kubwamahirwe yarenze kumuturanyi we.
Uburozi
Usibye abo "nshuti", imyitwarire yabo irasobanutse, hariho ibindi bantu bafite uburozi. Bigaragara ko bameze nka - kandi hano twibutse kuba kurerwa kwabashize, tuba tuyobowe na We kandi tukaba ntarabona umunezero wo gutumanaho, byari biteganijwe. Kuva kubantu bose bazi imitekerereze kandi hano hari ibisobanuro. Twese twakomeretse, ariko bamwe ntibashobora kuva mu nshingano zimwe - urugero, uhereye kumwanya wahohotewe. Abantu nkabo bakeneye kubabara, nawe, kuba hafi, uzakiza ububabare. Igikorwa cyawe nkumukunzi wawe ni ugufasha, mugihe babisabye, ariko niba itumanaho ryahindutse ibyago bikomeye, subiramo. Ntamuntu urerekana ko "ujugunya" inshuti, watambwe, ahubwo ni ukuba umuyoboro wayo ugakuramo kwiheba bidakwiye ko bitagomba kuba ubutumwa bwawe.
Ntibyoroshye guhuza mugihe cya mirongo itatu - ibi nukuri kubwurukundo, no guhuza urugwiro. Ariko ireme ryibi biganiro mugihe cyimyaka nibyiyongera gusa
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Kuraho abo "bakobwa bazunguye" batesha agaciro cyangwa bagashinyagurira ibyiyumvo byawe. Ntushobora kwemeranya, batongana, batongana mu buryo bwitondewe mubitekerezo byacu, ariko mumutima ushimishije wubumwe ntahantu ho gusuzugura no gushinyagurirwa, kwitwara nabi cyangwa gutobora. Niba kwaguka kwinshuti yawe bishaje uragukomeretsa, birakwiye kubivuga neza, kuburira ko agutera imbaraga. Niba inyigisho zitagira ingano zuburyo Perade yawe ari nziza, kandi ntabwo uri, zibangamira kwigirira icyizere, ntugomba gukomeza uburakari.
Birumvikana ko bibaho gutera ubwoba kureka itumanaho, cyane cyane mumyaka nyakubahwa mugihe "reka tube inshuti?" Birashoboka ko bidahagije kugirango utangire umubano. Ariko hano hariho ihame rimwe nko mumasako y'urukundo: kugirango iruhande rwawe rukwiye, ntihagomba kubaho ibidakwiye.
Kwagura imipaka
Nibyiza, muraho, nakuyeho ibiti byose byuburozi, "byagenze" kuri njye, byakoresheje ineza yanjye kandi nseka indangagaciro zanjye. Kandi nzabana nande? Ibyishimo birasobanutse. Abantu bizewe, bizewe, bashimishije ntibabatugwa nka shelegi kumutwe (nubwo rimwe na rimwe haba hari inama zitunguranye). Nigute? Twibutse ibintu bitatu, balale eshatu zirema urufatiro rwibintu bikomeye.
Ibisabwa byubucuti bukomeye:
Ubusanzwe. Kugira ngo dushyire umusingi w'ubucuti, tugomba kuzuza ibintu byinshi. Mbere ya byose, ni ngombwa guhura nabashobora kutubera inshuti ikomeje. Ibuka ishuri n'amasomo ye ya buri munsi! Inyungu. Turashobora kubona byibuze buri munota, ariko niba tutazahambira ikintu duhuriyeho - inyungu, intego, ibitekerezo, uburyohe, - ubucuti ntibuzaza. Kurugero, kuva imbaga yose yabanyeshuri twigana, nahisemo ababwira abandi uruhare rukunda itsinda rya Ivanushki. Iterambere. Imyaka yagiye, turahinduka, kandi ni ngombwa ko abajya iruhande rwacu natwe barahindutse baratera imbere. Bibaho ko ibyo metamorhose biganisha ku gutobora umubano, ariko iyi ni inzira karemano idakwiye guhagarikwa.
Imyaka yishuri irashize, bityo rero biragoye kuri twe kubona aho duhura buri gihe hamwe nabantu bamwe. Ariko yagaragaye iminsi ya biro! Reba bagenzi bawe. Ahari muri bo harimo umuntu wifuzaga kuvuga, musangire ikintu ku giti cye? Ntukihute kandi ntuhatire uko ibintu bimeze, imibonano imwe ihoraho yo kuvuka mubucuti ni nto.
Intambwe ikurikira niterambere ryimikorere. Wibuke aho ushobora kwiteza imbere mubandi? Master Masters, amasomo, amahugurwa ahita aza mubitekerezo. Hano dukora ako kanya kandi ikintu cya gatatu - inyungu nintego rusange. Musanzwe kuba umuntu ukuze ufite gahunda yamahame n'ibitekerezo, nasanze inshuti itangaje, imaze guhura nawe ... muri club yubuvanganzo! Nibyo, ibintu byose biroroshye cyane. Gusoma no kuganira ku bitabo, kunywa icyayi, ibiganiro by'icyayi, kandi buri cyumweru - kandi hano na Onya bikomeje kwicarana n'umwana, kandi ndishimye cyane kugaburira ibintu no gufata ifunguro ryayo nyuma yo kugorana umunsi. Mu mperuka hari isi ikunzwe. Itumanaho mu mbuga rusange rirashobora gusuka mumyaka myinshi yubucuti.
Ntibyoroshye guhuza mugihe cya mirongo itatu - ibi nukuri kubwurukundo, no guhuza urugwiro. Ariko ireme ryibi biganiro mumyaka ni byo byongereye gusa. Usanzwe uzi icyo ushaka, urabona icyakwemerwa kuri wewe, kandi kirazira, witeguye gutanga byinshi no gushimira shingiro. Ikintu nyamukuru ntabwo ari ugutinya no kugerageza kumukingura amahoro. Kubwibyo, rimwe na rimwe bibaho imvugo yoroshye, idahwitse kandi itaryarya: "Uzaba inshuti yanjye?"
Urihe, nshuti?
Uratekereza ko bagenzi b'indahemuka bashobora kuboneka kugeza igihe runaka? Uribeshya! Abasenga ba psychologue bizeza ko ubumwe, kuzinga nyuma yimyaka mirongo itatu, bahinduka urugero rwo kwitanga n'imbaraga.
Ntumenye aho washaka inshuti? Witondere abo dukorana cyangwa abantu bahuje ibitekerezo bahura nabo, kurugero, ku rubuga cyangwa muri siporo. Abantu bagezeyo, aho birashoboka cyane. Niba kandi atari byo, hariho impamvu yo kubiganiraho.
Koresha ubushobozi bwo ikinyejana cya makumyabiri na mbere cyaduhaye! Binyuze mugukoresha gukundana urukundo, ntushobora kubona umukunzi gusa, ahubwo ushobora no kuba inshuti nziza. Gusa ntuzibagirwe kwerekana uwo ushaka, mubibazo byawe, cyangwa gushiraho neza.