- Andrei Stepanovich, ufite inzobere zemewe murwego rwa psychologiya yumuryango. Kandi akenshi abagore bavuga ko bakeneye umugabo gusa nabakundwa mubuzima. Mbwira, iki cyifuzo nicyo?
- Mubyukuri ko umugore akeneye wenyine mubuzima, neza ko abo bagabo ubwabo bazi neza. Abagore bararezwe kandi nibyo.
Uburusiya bwahoraga ashinjwaga kwisiga no gusezererwa, ahubwo akurikije iterambere ryimibereho, yabaye imbere kandi akandagira imbere. Ngomba kuvuga ko hashize imyaka makumyabiri, societe yabonaga umuryango nkibikorwa bimwe byubusambanyi, ubu buryo nkuburyo nkubu muburyo bwubukwe bwimanza kuri benshi ari ibintu byiza. Kubwibyo, kugirango wumve niba umugabo azaba wenyine mubuzima, ugomba kubana na we utiyandikishije no kwizera ko kubana guhuriza hamwe bizarangirana nabashakanye.
Uyu munsi, ababyeyi basanzwe ntibarimo ubusugi bwumukobwa we, ariko uwo nuburyo azabaho. Hagati yikibazo cyo kwiyandikisha nibyishimo byumwana guhitamo umunezero wumwana. Kwiyandikisha ni umwanya wo mumitekerereze.
- Iyo mibanire yubuntu buri gihe yuzuye amahirwe yo gukora igihe icyo aricyo cyose no guhinduranya. Niki cyiza kuri cyo?
- Nibyiza nuko nyuma yubukwe, aho abantu batamenyereye, umukwe numukwe bagendeye, muri rusange, bagumye abanyamahanga. Urukundo n'ishyaka birashize, ubusa bwaje kandi byagaragaye ko abantu badahuza. Kandi biracyaza "gutatanya". Gushonga akiri muto, neurastène ebyiri ziguma - umubyeyi n'umwana ufite "umurage" ureba ubuzima. Reba, kurakara byuzuye no gutenguha.
Mu biganza by'umubyeyi ukiri muto, nyuma yo gushyingirwa, umwana arakomeza, akaba umukobwa ukiri muto udafite uburambe bw'ubuzima kandi arahira amafaranga asanzwe ategereje igikomangoma ku ifarashi yera. Ntabwo ari ibintu bidasanzwe.
Kubijyanye nubukwe nkubu ... kugirango ukore iyi formula, ugomba guhindura ijambo. Niba umugabo yagiye ibumoso, yahise agereranya no guhemukira umubyeyi. Ikosa ryose muri terminologiya. Mu Burayi, ubwo buryo bwo gushyingirwa bukora kandi butera imbere binyuze mu muco w'abafatanyabikorwa. Niba udashaka kumenya ibijyanye n'ubutunzi, ntugomba kubaza ibibazo utifuza kwakira ibisubizo, shyira gusa, ntukanyure ".
- Mu mibanire yubuntu, mbere yuko umuntu ahitamo gushyingirwa, cyane cyane kubagore: kwihaza cyangwa kutagira kirengera? Niki gishimishije cyane?
- Mbere ya byose, ni ngombwa ko umugore atemeza ko umutekano wubukungu n'ubukungu. Agomba kugira uburezi, guhamagara imibereho no hejuru yumutwe we, kugirango umugabo adakomeretse. Kandi kugirango ukurure umugabo ukunda, ugomba kwigira. Ariko mbere ya byose bigomba kuba igitsina.
Imiterere yumugore ntacyo itwaye kumugabo. Niba hari ikururatsina, ibindi byose "ikura" wenyine. Niba ibi atari - ibintu bitesha umutwe. Abashakanye ntibazakora. Niba Kamere yafataga ibye, umugabo arahindukira ko uyu ari umugore we, yabaye umuhanda, ibindi byose biba. Azarangiza amaso uko atoroshye, adashimishije, arashaka kumufasha no kurinda. Umuntu wese azerekana ko ari umugore we. Ariko kumuntu ni ngombwa cyane, reka tuvuge ko kwipimisha.
- Niki?
- Ibintu byose bigenwa nuburyo bigenda bwa mbere. Ariko, nk'ubutegetsi, kuva bwa mbere, abashakanye benshi ntibakora neza, ni ngombwa ko igihe cya cumi cyaruta icya kabiri.
- Imiterere yo hejuru yumugore ntabwo akina muri uru rubanza uruhare rukomeye muri Feximity? Kandi ni ayahe magambo y'abagabo abo bagore babo bafite ubwenge barishimye, bafite umwuga watsinze. Uyu munsi ni imico ikomeye yumugore ...
- Ku muntu, ntabwo ari ngombwa cyane iyo mugenzi we azaba umuforomo cyangwa perezida wa banki, ariko nibyiza kubikora hamwe numuforomo. Niba umugore akunda umugabo, ariko yabanje gutangazwa nka shebuja, ntibishoboka ko umuntu usanzwe azabishimisha. Niba tutavuga kubyerekeye gukura kw'umwuga cyangwa amatsiko gusa icyarimwe. Kugirango wigane neza kumugabo, ibi bintu ntibitoroshye. Hamwe numugore ukize kandi watsinze, biragoye guhura, kuko bitabarira umutungo wabagabo kandi mugihe umuntu wiyita yumvise, afite kumva ko asumba kandi akabitangaza. Ariko niba turimo tuvuga abashakanye, aho mu myaka mike umugabo ayoboye, mubuzima runaka, nibisanzwe. Amaherezo, societe izakomeza guhatira umugabo kwerekana ubudahuje.
- Dukunze kumva interuro: "Umugore agomba, kuba amayobera" ... ni ubuhe bwoko bw'ibisakuno mu mugore bikurura umugabo?
- Nzi gusa ibisakutsi bibiri byigitsina gore: ihungabana ryo mumutwe nu mbonerahamwe. Ahubwo, turimo tuvuga kuri Aura atura mugore. Ntabwo hagomba kubaho ibanga, ntirigomba kwihanganira ikibazo. Bitabaye ibyo, bimaze kuba pathology. Fleur y'amayobera, idahendutse ikurura umugabo, ikibazo kizahanagura.
Kubwo gutabaza abagore barashobora kwitirirwa ubushobozi bwo guhisha ibyifuzo byabo. Mugore, niba ashaka gukura umuntu, ntagomba kuba isura ye, isura n'imyitwarire ye kugirango yerekane ko "ari umucyo mwidirishya" kuri we. Aba bagabo nabo barasunika. Ku bijyanye n'abakobwa ntibyashimishije kubyumva, ariko umugabo akeneye kuva mu nzira yo gusubira inyuma akamureka ahitamo kubikora.
- Gutandukana nuburyo buteye ubwoba kumugore watereranywe. Ariko birakwiye kwizirika kumuntu ukundwa gusa?
- Umugabo batangiye gutsimbarara, nk'ubutegetsi, ntabwo arabishima. Kuri we, uyu mutwaro. Umugore aba mumutwaro, igitekerezo cya "ubudahemuka" muriki kibazo ntikizakora. Niba bigeze ku bana, hanyuma hamwe n'umubare ugezweho wa bene, ni byiza kugirana umubano usanzwe na Se uba hanze y'umuryango kuruta psychose "kuri batatu." Niba umugore atangiye kwica urubozo umugabo, "Sohoka", gerageza kubishyiramo, ntakintu kizaza. Ntamushaka, afite undi mugore. Kubera iyo mpamvu, azakomeza guhunga kandi ntakintu kibukomeza - nta rugo cyangwa abana.
"Biragaragara ko ari umuntu, ni byiza ko tutazirikana, atari ukumenya umubano na we, ntukavuge mu bugingo, muri make," atari ukubona. " Yoba asubirayo iyo ahigijwe?
- Umugore agomba kumva umuntu mugihe akeneye umugabo, kandi mugihe atari. Iyi ni ireme ryihariye rishimirwa cyane mubagore. Ibintu nkibi bitanga ubukwe bwabatumirwa. Noneho umugore ahinduka isoko yibyishimo no kwishimira. Ariko niba bidashoboka kandi abashakanye baba munsi yinzu imwe, nibyo cyane muri uru rubanza ni ukuruhuka. Mu mujyi, abantu bagomba kugira amahirwe yo kuguma byibuze mugihe runaka. Umugabo n'umugore. Ifu y'ifu ituruka ku kuba umugabo mu gihe cy'urusikari ntahantu ho gutoroka, kandi umugore ahitamo ko ari we wizerwa ukomeza ari ugukora ku biro byo kwigisha. Munsi yigitutu cyabagore, abagabo bakunze kwiyegurira. Ariko ntutekereze kubyo bashushanyije kandi ibintu byose byateye imbere. Hamwe namayeri yambere, abagore rimwe na rimwe bateye ishozi. Ejo yatutse kandi yita umugabo amagambo aherutse, kandi uyu munsi yafashe imigabane n'inkweto n'inkweto kandi atekereza ko ibintu byose byafashwe ubwabyo. Ibinyuranye, ibintu byose byagoye cyane uko ibintu bimeze.
- Kandi niyo mpamvu imvugo isuzugura umugore: "Umugore wese ashaka gukurura umugabo ku biro byiyandikisha. Niki?
- Niba umukobwa, afite ishingiro rya mama n'abakobwa bakundana, tugomba kuvugwa ko bisohoka, yego, bigomba "gukurura" ku biro byiyandikisha. Ariko azaruhuka. Ariko niba umugore akeneye urukundo rwumuntu, ntukeneye kumukurura ahantu hose. Muri societe civile yateje imbere, aho buri muntu afite uburenganzira bwo kwigenga, umugore agomba kwinjiza, inzu ye, kandi niba umugabo yamutaye, noneho simbona muri iki kinamico. Akeneye urukundo nyarwo, ni imico, vuba cyangwa nyuma bizabaho kubandi bafatanyabikorwa.
- Imibare ivuga ko mu gihugu cyacu kuri buri mugabo ufite abagore barindwi - nukuri? Niba aribyo, hano hari abagore byanze bikunze "bazirikana" kubantu bose.
- haba imibare yakuwe mu gisenge, cyangwa yavumbuwe n'abapfu gukoresha inshuti zabo. Kumyaka igera kuri mirongo ine n'itanu, umubare wabagore nabagabo kimwe. Uyu munsi mu Burusiya abagore b'imyororokere - miliyoni 16. Nk'abagabo benshi. Ibintu byose byavutse mugihe kimwe. Ikibazo nuko hariho abagabo bake cyane kuba kurutonde rwibisabwa. Ubukungu "Castration" hamwe ninkunga yicyikerarugero rwibintu byikiremwamuntu byagabanije amahirwe yo kwemeza ibisabwa byinshi bya hafi kimwe cya kabiri cyikiremwamuntu. Abagore benshi ubwabo ntibahuye nibi bisabwa, kandi "imigani" bategereje abagabo. Kuva mu buryo buhebuje kubiciro byimpano zidafite ubufiya bwa buri munsi. Kubwibyo, ndasobanura icyateye ubwigunge bwumugore.
Niba societe yamagana umuntu ukomoka mu mwamikazi wize kandi mwiza "" mwiza "yahungiye" kwandika ibikoresho ", nyizera Ijambo, yari afite impamvu zikomeye.
- Ikintu kibabaje nuko kubagore, nkuko byari bihuriye mumyaka amagana, shaka umugabo mumugabo wanjye nkagumaho. Iterambere, ubwiteganyirize ntibwahagaritse ibi. Sosiyete
Biracyafite abagore batashyingiranywe.
- Gushyikirana hagati yumugabo numugore byahoze bigabanywamo ibyiciro bibiri. Mbere yo gutangira imibonano mpuzabitsina na nyuma. Ibi ni ibyiciro bibiri bitandukanye.
Umugabo afata gutanga. Umugore yampaye kubifata nyuma. Umugabo afata bike na make, hanyuma atanga ubuzima bwe bwose. Niba adashobora kubitanga, noneho ushatse kuvuga umukunzi wanjye, birasuzugurwa, asya, barayishinyagurira. Niyo mpamvu akeneye umufatanyabikorwa wuje urukundo, wizerwa, ufite ubwenge, ufite ubwenge, aho atazahunga ahantu hose kandi azakora byose kugirango abone kimwe cya kabiri. Umugore uhora yumva uko umuntu ameze, ibibazo bye, ibyo akeneye, azi igihe cyo guceceka mugihe akubazwa mugihe azabazwa iyo azabazwa gusa, kandi adakora ibyo badasabye. Umugore nkuyu ntabwo abangamiwe no kwigunga! Ariko ibi bintu ahubwo birangwa mubanyamahanga, ntabwo ari inshuti zacu kwisi. Mu muryango wacu ushidikanya ni ibintu bidasanzwe.
Kubwibyo, abagabo bahatirwa kubana nabafatanyabikorwa badahuye na psychologique kugirango badasa nkaho nta nyakoka kandi nziza.