Ubuzima bwa kabiri bwiswe abantu bakorana umwete batondera. Nigute mubihe byinshi bitera imbere? Twese twiga, tubona uburezi, dutegure gukora, hanyuma ... iminsi yicyumweru itangiriye, aho kwibeshya akenshi bicibwa. Kubwimpamvu runaka, ntituba abatware bakuru, kandi niba dufite umwanya uyobora mu mufuka, ntabwo uzana umunezero no kunyurwa twashakishije. Noneho ubu inzozi zumwuga zihinduka inshingano zisanzwe, umutwaro dukurura buri munsi. Biratandukanye? Birumvikana! Tuvuga neza uko bibaho nibyo ukeneye gukora kubwibi.
Wibuke uko byari bimeze? Twebwe, duto, twifuzaga cyane gukura vuba aha isi yose hamwe namahirwe yabo akarenga kuri twe! Byasaga naho dushobora kujya aho twifuzaga gusa, byari bikwiye kurangiza amashuri gusa. Abamuteganya baduzeze: Mbere ya muganga mirongo cyenda ku ishuri ry'abanyeshuri b'ejo, binjira mubuzima bukuru bafite ibyiyumvo byo gutegereza ikintu nyacyo, ubumaji, bwari bumaze igihe. Batangazwa ku mibare idashidikabuwe kandi mu myaka icumi nyuma yo kurekurwa, buri cya kabiri gifite syndrome yoroheje, buri cya gatatu kimenyereye kwiheba cyangwa kuvura. Hafi ya bose binubira umunaniro, kudasinzira, kugabanuka kwa libido. Ntabwo ari ishusho nziza cyane, sibyo? Cyane cyane niba wibuka ko tuvuga urubyiruko rwimyaka makumyabiri n'itanu. Kandi muri leta nk'iyi, abari hanze byose byari byiza: umushahara uhamye, ibiro byiza, amahirwe yo guhinduka, kugeza ku myaka mirongo ine mu ntebe za psychotherapiste, batitaye ku mitekerereze , Abanyabantu batwitse batabonye ikibazo cye kandi bakora, bakora, biragoye ku kwizera ko ubuzima bwacu bwa kabiri, dutangira igihe kinini mubuzima bwacu bwingenzi bishobora kutuzanira ibibazo byinshi kandi duhangayitse . Ariko nta na hamwe kandi ugahindura ikintu kimaze imyaka kizwi? Birumvikana ko bishoboka, ariko kubwibyo birakwiye gusubira aho.
Niki ugomba gukora uramutse umenye ko badakora ubucuruzi bwawe bwite, ariko ntushobora kwihutira hanze n'umutwe wawe?
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Igisimba mu ruziga
Kuva mu bwana ubwa kabiri, gahunda yashyizwe mu mutwe: Wige neza, jya muri kaminuza nkuru, kuko muzategereza umuhanda muremure, muremure cyane witwa "Umwuga", kandi ni ngombwa ko ushobora kwitanga hamwe nibi Umwuga.
... Noneho, ku isegonda, tekereza uko ingimbi yimyaka cumi n'itandatu - kumenya ko mu gihe cya vuba aha agomba guhitamo. Kandi buri kosa byose bigomba kuganisha ku guhitamo kwifashe, kandi buri makosa ashobora kuyobora "? Munsi y "" ntabwo ", birumvikana ko guhagarara neza muburyo bwumwanya wabashomeri cyangwa, mubi, akazi ka Janetor. Byombi kandi birahangayitse ku ishuri ryakurikiye. Kandi bizagenda bite nyuma? Mu gitutu cy'ababyeyi na sosiyete, uruhukijwe no kubona umwiharikoho icyo ari cyo cyose kizashobora "kugera". Birumvikana ko byari bidasanzwe kurasa ku ntego biguye mu ntego, no ku cyiciro cyo kwiga umunyeshuri, kutanyurwa bitangira kwimurwa.
By the way, benshi ntibabona ko ikintu kitari ubuzima bwa kaminuza ya Turbulent: Imiterere mishya, ibibazo bishya ntabwo bitanga kumenya ko guhitamo hafi amahirwe ntabwo bizana umunezero. Hanyuma ubuzima bwumuryango buratangira, none ntamwanya wo gutekereza, nkuko ubikora, nkuko babivuga, nkuko bimeze, kandi ubu ni umubyeyi uzi neza, kandi umwana wawe arahatirwa kwemera icyemezo cye.
Amakuru meza: Birashoboka guhunga uru ruziga rufunze, ariko, ikintu cya mbere ugomba gusana ubutwari no kwemera ibibazo byawe bwite. Uzatungurwa, ariko ntuzahore buri gihe kubikora, kuko ingorane zakazi zihora zimurwa inyuma. Ndibuka, umwe mu tuziranye yabwiwe ko yafashijwe na we kuva mu mwanya wishyuwe cyane muri sosiyete nini no gutangiza umwuga wa mucuranzi. Nuburyo bwa Pasha nyuma yumunsi wakazi warebye urukurikirane "inshuti", aho imwe mu ntwari, chandler, yavuye aho akazi. Yamufashe imyaka mike ajya mu buryo busanzwe. Umuyobozi wanjye yahumekewe niki gice maze ajugunya umwanya we kumunsi umwe. Byaragaragaye ko byoroshye, byoroshye kuruta uko Pawulo ahagarariwe.
Kwirinda bikabije ni iminsi isanzwe kandi yuzuye mugihe ubishoboye muburyo bwo kumurongo no muburyo bw'ikigereranyo guhagarika akazi.
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Nibyo, ukuri hamwe nurukurikirane rwahindutse rwose kuri buriwese. Amafaranga yo muri Pasha ararangiye, atangira gushaka amafaranga ahita, ariko umunezero, ubutwari n'ishyaka uwo musore yinjiye mu nzira yatoranijwe, aramufasha kwimanza no kudashyira hasi amaboko. Yibukije ko ari natwe, yibukije ko yahoraga ashaka kwinjira muri kaminuza ya muti mu muziki, ariko ababyeyi be n'abarimu bashimangiye kwakira umuyobozi wihariye.
Kuvuga Mvugishije ukuri, iyi nkuru buri gihe bituma ndumirwa cyane. Ishusho ni nziza cyane: Umwanditsi wurupfunda urubozo yasuye ubushishozi, atera byose kandi agera ku ntsinzi mumurima mushya. Umugambi mwiza kuri firime, ariko mubyukuri twese turaremerewe nimico myinshi idashobora gusigara ejo hazaza heza hataza. Nigute wakora uramutse umenye ko badakora mubucuruzi bwabo, ariko ntushobora kwihutira hanze numutwe wawe?
Abahanga mu by'imitekerereze basabwa cyane gutangira ... bafite ibyo ukunda! Uzishora mubyo ukunda, mugihe utishyuye uyu mushahara. Wibuke ko inzira igera ku ntambwe igihumbi itangirana na imwe, ntukihuze, reka igihe utagize mumyaka yishuri. Emera kwishimira umwuga uzakuzanira umunezero, reka ntukibwire uko ushobora kubinjiza. Icyemezo kizaza.
Umukobwa wanjye wa hafi buri gihe yashyizwemo abana. Ababyeyi bacu bose bamenyereye basengaga igihe Mila yazaga gusura, abana barishimye nibindi byinshi. Yakoze MILA n'umuyobozi w'Ububiko bw'urusobe, na bagenzi be barinzwe na shobuja: muri kamere akaba umuteguro mwiza; Birasobanutse, gutuza, neza, kurenganura kandi byihangana, Lydmila Evgenievna yari umuyobozi ukunda w'abakozi bose. Ibintu byose byamusanze ndasohoka, ariko igihe runaka yaranyinjiraga: "Ibintu byose, sinshobora kwiyongera, nta mudugudu ukuza!" Nagiye gukorana n'umuforomo nimugoroba w'incuke. Byasa nkaho, nihe handi, niba amaboko yagabanutse? Ariko guhumeka kwa kabiri kwageze nkinzira itangaje. Nyuma y'amezi atari make, yahamagariwe gukora mu mashuri abanza yigenga, aho yashoboye gushyira mu bikorwa imico yabo yose myiza. Iyo yari umubabaro mu birori byose byo gusezera, ababuranyi bo mu rwego rwa Ludmila Evgenyyevna ntibashakaga kuba abagurisha mu buryo ubwo ari bwo bwose.
Gutwika, ariko ntukatwike
Nibyiza, tuvuge iki kubantu bahisemo akazi kabo, burimunsi narishimye, kujya muri bagenzi babo ku biro cyangwa ku gihingwa, ariko rimwe na rimwe natakaje umunezero mugihe runaka? Kuki ibi bibaho? Abahanga mu by'imitekerereze ya psychologue bahamagaye impamvu ebyiri zingenzi: Umujinya wabigize umwuga n'impinduka z'isi muri twe. Reka tubwire ibintu byose murutonde.
Icy'ingenzi!
Kuruhuka. Kugira ngo wirinde gutwika umwuga, birakenewe gusa kubahiriza byibuze ibintu bitatu. Iya mbere ni uguruhuka, nkikinyora cya buri cyumweru (icyumweru cya buri cyumweru!), Kimwe no kuramba. Ntiwibagirwe gufata ibiruhuko byibuze icyumweru kabiri na gatatu mu mwaka.
Guhindura. Kubura kwawe kumurimo, birababaje, ntibisobanura ko uruhutse (cyane cyane ubungubu, mugihe cyo "gukuraho"). Ni ngombwa cyane "guhagarika" kuva ku kazi: Nta terefone, inzandiko z'ubucuruzi, kugenzura amabaruwa no kubungabunga imibonano na bagenzi bawe gusa n'abakunzi bawe ni ngombwa.
Kugenzura. Kugirango utavuza induru mubitenguha no kutanyurwa numwuga wawe, ni ngombwa kumva akamaro kawe. Nubwo udafata umwanya mukuru, cyane biterwa nawe - bityo rero ugomba kubyumva. Sobanukirwa ko ugenzura uko ibintu bimeze kandi ufite inshingano za "Zone yawe", abo dukorana hamwe nubuyobozi buhagije bizafasha.
Ijambo "gutwikwa" ryagaragaye kera: abahanga bakorana na we imyaka igera kuri mirongo ine. Ubusanzwe yari yizeraga ko abahagarariye gusa abitwa bazigama umwihariko "gutwika": Gukiza ": Gukiza mu buryo butaziguye: Abashinzwe kuzimya umuriro, abarimu, abarimu n'abarimu. Huza uru rutonde na psychotherapiste. Ariko nyuma, byaje kugaragara ko abantu bakora ibintu bose bakorera bamenyereye ubu burwayi, kubamavu batanga umusaruro kubayobozi bakuru b'isosiyete mpuzamahanga.
Pregnose niba uzabisubiza, urashobora kugera kukazi. Biterwa nibintu byinshi. Mbere ya byose, ubushobozi bwawe bwo "Gufata nkokora" (yego, tuvuga cyane imihangayiko kurwanya!) Kandi kubona inkunga no gufashwa igihe bakeneye bo. Ikipe hamwe nikirere kirimo ni ngombwa cyane. Biragoye kumva muburebure no kwishimira akazi mugihe amasaha nayo yategetse mubiro, urwana no gusebanya hamwe na peres, kandi aho kuba umukino witsinda wumva amarushanwa ahore. Abayobozi nimyitwarire yijuru kuri wewe nkurwego rutandukanye rugira akamaro kanini, kugena amahirwe yo gutsinda nkinzobere.
Murumuna wanjye, ntuzigere usangira ubunararibonye, uva mu Burusiya ujya mu Burayi kugira ngo abashe kwiteza imbere nk'umwuga. Kandi ubanza ibintu byose byagenze neza: umwuga wo muri IT-Sphere, umuvandimwe yarasenze gusa, yari kumusozi. Ariko mu myaka mike yasubiye i Moscou, avuga ko atagishaka kandi adashobora gukora aho yakoraga. Byaragaragaye ko ntaho yari afite na bagenzi be - impinduka ziteganijwe, inzitizi y'ururimi yahindutse bose. Kumenya ibibera, Zhenya "yakuye" icyongereza kandi yashoboye gushiraho umubano na bagenzi bashinzwe akazi. Hamwe nubuyobozi, buranga, itumanaho naryo ryageze kurwego rushya.
Ariko inshuti yanjye Ani hamwe na contactuts ni byose neza - amaherezo yakoze nkinyenyeri zerekana. Umwuga we washobora kugirira ishyari buri: amashyaka ahoraho, amafaranga meza, asaba no kubaha abakiriya na bagenzi babo. Nibyo, ntabwo yari afite weekend. Na gato. Na gato. Yarabishimwa kubera ko yavuganye, nk'uko bavuga, makumyabiri na bane kugeza barindwi. Ubuzima bwihariye bwarushijeho kuzana umwuga, kandi bwari bumaze kutumvikana, aho bikarangirira (kandi niba birangira na gato) kimwe ikindi gitangira. Akazi kegereye, wabaye isoko yo guhumekwa, wabaye inzozi kumukobwa wumukobwa. Gusohoka, ntiyabonye, yerekana ibimenyetso bya psychotherapist yirengagijwe, kuko ibisubizo byari ku buriri bwibitaro. Ikiruhuko cy'igaha mu ishami rya neuurologiya, aho terefone na mudasobwa zigendanwa byabujijwe, baramwegera. Amaherezo, Anna yemeye Ukuri bidatinze: gukora neza kandi bishimye, byari ngombwa kuruhuka neza.
Kwirinda bikabije ni iminsi isanzwe kandi yuzuye mugihe ubishoboye muburyo bwo kumurongo no muburyo bw'ikigereranyo gutandukana nabakozi no kwibagirwa ko uri umunyamwuga. Ni ngombwa cyane kwakira ibitekerezo byiza-bivuye muri bagenzi bacu na bagenzi bawe: Iyo wumva ko akazi kawe gafite agaciro kuburyo imbaraga zawe zikenewe nimbaraga zawe nitsinda hamwe nubuyobozi bwo gukora bwiyongera. Hanyuma, ugomba gushobora gucunga inzira, menya ko ushobora gufata ibyemezo. Bitabaye ibyo, ibyiyumvo biremwa ko uri umugozi muto gusa muri Mechanism nini.
Mbere yo gusiga byose hanyuma wihute hanze hamwe numutwe wawe, ucike hamwe nibibi byose bishobora kuzenguruka umwuga wawe winzozi
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Nibindi bintu rwose niba ibiro ukunda byaretse kuba aribyo, kuko ... wahindutse. Yego, kandi birabaho. Ntabwo nzajya kure nkurugero: Nyuma yimyaka mike yishimye mu itangazamakuru, nasanze nshaka ikindi. Ibiro by'Amatangazo, aho nagiye, twishimira buri wa mbere, batangiye gufatwa, nahagaritse kumva ko nkora ikintu gikomeye, gikomeye. Byarabaye cyane kuko inzitizi zanjye nibyihutirwa byahindutse, nahinduye indangagaciro nibimenyetso. Ibi birashobora biteganijwe ko biteganijwe kuri buri wese muri twe: Murakaza neza, ibibazo byo hagati! Hafi ya mirongo itatu dusuzugura ubuzima bwawe bwose kandi akenshi dufite ubutwari bwo kureka ibiranga ibyahise. Abava muri iki kibazo, bagumana umwuga, barashobora kugirirwa ishyari - cyangwa kubabarana, kuko badafite "gusubiramo" muri iki gihe biragoye gutegereza ibitangaza mugihe kizaza. Ni imyaka mirongo itatu, wongeyeho - ukuyemo imyaka itari mike, tuba benshi cyangwa bike tuzi ubwacu nubushobozi bwacu, tumaze kumenya kumva ibyo bakeneye no gutegura ibyihutirwa. Turashobora kumva ko ikintu cyingenzi ari umuryango cyangwa umwuga, twumva uburyo bwo kubona uburimbane nubwumvikane. Muri iki gihe, umwuga urahaguruka. Hejuru ni abaje kumenyekanisha kandi biteguye gukorana ibirori byabo bikomeye kandi bidafite intege nke, ahantu h'iterambere n'ibyifuzo. Kugaruka ku nkuru yanjye, kimwe na makumyabiri n'icyenda nasanze nshaka guhindura itangazamakuru ryo kwigisha, kandi nyuma y'umwaka nari nsanzwe nigishijwe Ikirusiya ku ishuri. Noneho iryo tegeko ryabaye mu buzima bwanjye, kandi nyuma yo gusubira mu mwanditsi - ariko iki nikiganiro gitandukanye rwose.
Twese twiruka nk'aho hakoreshejwe Ijwi ryumvikanye mu myaka yashize: "Ahubwo! Ni ngombwa kubona umwanya, ni ngombwa gutangira, gukora! " Ninde, mugihe, uburyo - rimwe na rimwe ubuzima budushyira mubihe nkibi biba ngombwa. Ariko iyo ufite amahirwe yo guhumeka, gerageza kwisubiza ikibazo kimwe cyoroshye: urahiriwe? Niba igisubizo ari "oya," uzi aho ugomba gutangira. Amahirwe masa!
Ndashaka kureka byose. Nigute?
Niba wumva ko inzira yawe yumwuga yagutangiye mu mpera zapfuye, ntukihute gutwika ibiraro. Birashoboka ko "watwitse"? Reba hamwe nibiruhuko bigufi namasomo menshi kuri psychotherapiste. Niba utarashaka kugaruka "kuri serivisi", komeza ku kintu gikurikira.
Guhindura umwuga, ni ngombwa kumva ko ugomba gutangira byinshi kuva kera. Uremera kuba wimenyereza umwuga, inzobere mu bito, umugabo "ku Bali"? Nta kibi kiri kuri ibyo, ariko ni ngombwa kumenya ko bishoboka cyane. Imari "umusego" izaba iy'umutwe. Tangira na ntoya: witabe icyiciro cya shebuja kubyo bigushimishije, reba abasanzwe bakora "ubucuruzi bwawe", vugana nabo, soma ibidukikije. Mbere yo gusiga byose hanyuma wihute hanze hamwe numutwe wawe, ucike intege zose zishobora kuzenguruka umwuga wawe winzozi.