Kuba umubyeyi muri iki gihe cyacu ni asanzwe. Byongeye kandi, igihe, kubwimpamvu zitandukanye, Ababyeyi batinze cyangwa ntibibaho na gato, umugore muto azashobora kwirinda kubyumva no kuvuga ko "ikintu kibi kuri we". Kuba umubyeyi nibyo kandi bikwiye. Mugihe kimwe, ubugabo ni igice cyo kumenya umugore. Isi irahinduka, kandi abagore benshi kandi benshi bazi ko kubyara ari nini, ariko ntabwo ari igice cyubuzima, kidashobora kwishyura indishyi zayo. Ndetse no mu buryo bunyuranye, niko umugore yiruka aho ari umubyeyi, niko abana be bishyura ubwo buntu. Ingero zayo misa: Kunanirwa kwa nyina mu burezi, siporo, guhanga kuva mu gitondo nijoro, bishira mu mashuri, amashuri n'ibigo. Bose hamwe no kumva cyane kwicira urubanza no kutishyura bakura muri ba nyina batangaje uburere bw'abana ibisobanuro byonyine byo kubaho kwabo.
Ariko bitinde bitebuke, abana bakura bagasiga ababyeyi, iyi ni inzira isanzwe. Noneho ababyeyi, kandi umubyeyi arahura nikibazo cyitwa "syndrome ya desest". Iyi niyo stage mugihe ababyeyi babonye gusenyuka gukomeye kwiranga kwabo yitwa "i Mama". Kandi niba ntari umubyeyi, nkuko wabimenyereye imyaka myinshi, none ndi nde? Niba umugore yiyemeje mu bucuti, agayoboka ubuzima bwe ku busobanuro n'intego runaka, iyo bimaze kuba bya kabiri, uburyo bwo kubaka no gusobanura ubuzima ubu? Ikibazo gikomeye kandi gishimishije. Ibyerekeye izi nzozi zuyu munsi yintwari zuyu munsi:
Ati: "Turi kumwe n'umukobwa wanjye ukuze mu kindi gihugu, gutembera muri bisi hamwe n'itsinda. Bukwi na bukwi, umuryango uza mu itsinda hamwe n'umwana muto, unsaba kwicarana na we. Umwana afite imyaka ingana n'umwuzukuru, nishimiye kumureba. Amaherezo, ababyeyi be baraza, bafata umwana, natangiye gushaka itsinda ryanjye, umukobwa wanjye, ariko sinshobora kubona umuntu. Ndumva ko bagiye ku kibuga cy'indege, pass kwiyandikisha gutaha. Nkeneye kubashakisha, gufata. Ndagerageza guhagarika imodoka, ariko ntamuntu uhagarara, gusa byankubise amadirishya yimodoka. Niruka kumuhanda, hari ukuntu urujijo rwose, ndumva ko natinze kubona indege mbi, ntabwo mfite umwanya. Umwijima, utera ubwoba cyane, kandi ntamuntu numwe ushobora kuntera gusubira murugo. "
Inzozi z'inzozi zacu zivugana na we uburyo bwo gusimbuka byoroshye mu ruhare rwa "Mamam." Ibinezeza nukubera kuruhande rwabato. Akunda gutya, nta mpamvu yo kwerekana umuntu akagerageza kuba mwiza. Umwana, cyane cyane - uyu numuntu muto utiteze cyane. Ikintu nyamukuru kiri iruhande kandi rwitabwaho. Kubwibyo, biroroshye cyane gusiba ibindi bice byose byubuzima no kwitangira abana rwose. Ariko, inzozi zinzozi ntabwo aribinezeza. Irerekana ko iki gihe cyashyizweho. Icyo kuba mama no kuba nyirakuru, nko mu rubanza rwe, ni igice cy'ubuzima. Urashobora gufunga ibi, urashobora kuzimira no kudasubira murugo, nibyo, kuri wewe, intego zawe, gahunda, imirimo. Sinzira uyisunika kugirango winjize byinshi, kandi ntabwo ari uruhare rwa nyirakuru. Kwizirika kuri wewe ubwawe birashobora kandi gutsimbarara kuriwe, nubwo ababakikije bareba ibi. Kurugero, kugenda, mugihe abana bakuze basaba kwicara nabi. Ahari kwishyura umwanya kuri suede kuva mugihe cyinzozi, yasubitswe mu gasanduku garemba: kugirango abone ingendo, guhura ninshuti, kora ibyo ukunda cyangwa no kubona umwuga mushya.
Mu nzira, ntamuntu wavuze ko bizakingirwa bitewe no kuba abana bakuze bava murugo rwababyeyi, bahamagara abana babo kandi ntibakunze guhamagara. Ariko ubushishozi ku mugore ukuze mu mirimo ye y'ubuzima bwe, arakomeye arashoboye kwifata, ntagomba guhonyora ko umuntu atahari.
Ndabaza ibyo urota? Ohereza inzozi zawe nibibazo ukoresheje mail [email protected].
Maria Dyachkova, umuganga wa psychologue, umuvuzi wumuryango, amahugurwa yambere yibikorwa byimikurire yimyidagaduro Marika Khazin