Urukundo rw'iteka: Amategeko yo kubungabunga umubano

Anonim

Amategeko ni icyiciro gikenewe kuri siyansi. Tutabaye ibyo, kimwe no nta bidasanzwe, ntitwashoboraga kwiga ururimi rwawe kavukire, twumva amategeko yawe ya kavukire, tukamenya impamvu umuyaga ushobora kuvanga no gukuramo urumuri rutaka. Habaho amategeko muri ... Urukundo? N'ubundi kandi, we, nk'intwari ya sushkin, Evgeny Onegin, irashobora gufatwa nk '"siyanse yoroheje cyane". Bakenewe aho amarangamutima yaho yangiritse, kandi ubwenge buracecetse? Ni ayahe mategeko agomba kuyoborwa, kandi niki - kwibagirwa ubuziraherezo? Kandi niba bashoboye kwagura imyaka yinzira zacu zurukundo? Turimo kugerageza kubimenya.

Twumva gusa: "Urukundo rw'iteka, twari akuri kuri we ...", "Urukundo rubaho!" - Aya nandi magambo kuri imwe mu ngingo zingenzi zingenzi ntizihagarara uyu munsi. Birashobora gusa nkaho ari umuswa muto ndetse nibicucu gutongana kubyerekeye urukundo rwiza rw'igihe kirekire mu myaka yacu, iyo amasezerano n'ibinyoma byibagiranye, kandi yiswe itariki ijoro rimwe ntirifatwa nk'ikintu giteye ubwoba. Ariko abahanga bagerageza kwakira imiti yurukundo mugihe kimwe byatuzaniye ubutumwa bwiza - we, uhoraho, urahari! Noneho biracyasobanukiwe uburyo bwo gutuma ubumwe bwawe buhinduka inzira ushobora kuvuga "kandi babayeho birebire kandi bishimye."

Igihe cyiza

Igihe cyose twinjiye muri shampiyona nziza yinyamanswa, yabunzi kandi birumvikana, ibirahuri byijimye, twizera ko iki gihe ari kimwe, kandi uyu mufatanyabikorwa ni ikitongo cyubuzima. Hano bafite amategeko n'amabwiriza yabo nyuma yo gukora ibibazo byinshi. "Inama mbi" nyamukuru, dushaka amata ya nyina - kwiyerekana kuva kuruhande rwiza. Byasa nkaho bibi ari ukugaragaza imbaraga zayo kuba ushobora kuba umukunzi? Benshi, birababaje, ntibabona itandukaniro riri hagati yo gutungurwa nabafatanyabikorwa bafite imico yabo ishimishije, numukino wa Frank muburyo bwiza. Ntabwo ukunda guteka, ariko vuga ko ukunda, uri ibikomoka ku bimera byingenzi, ariko ukabimanira, ntuteganya kubyara, ariko ukigira nkaho batumva ikibazo. Gusobanukirwa aho iyi nzira izakuyobora? Niba kandi wowe n'umukozi wawe wahisemo gukina umuntu mwiza?

Hariho ikintu nko gucika intege ukwezi kwa gatandatu. Ni mu mpera z'igice cya mbere mu mwaka w'umubano abantu batangira gusubiramo masike, Amasezerano asa nkaho asa nkaho atariyo. Kandi yamaze kuva mu bwana bwo mu rugo bwa pussy, ishyaka rishize amanga rirahutira, kandi riva mu nzu y'akazi - umutima udahari. Birumvikana ko wowe (na mugenzi wawe, niba nawe wakinnye uyu mukino hamwe nibihinduka) muguhungabana: nihehe wicaye imbere yawe kuri desset anoze kandi atekereza kuri postmoderniste? Kumva gutenguha, kumva ko washutswe, kutumva neza ko ibindi - ijanisha rinini rya Steam rihura nibi mumwaka wa mbere wumubano. Ibitekerezo biteye ubwoba ni uko benshi baguma mu bumwe, bagakomeza guhemukira kamere yabo no kubeshya (bitabaye ibyo udashobora kuvuga) ya mugenzi wawe.

Amategeko rusange ya miriyoni ebyiri ni nto cyane, ariko ni

Amategeko rusange ya miriyoni ebyiri ni nto cyane, ariko ni

Ifoto: Ibisobanuro.com.

Niki gukora kugirango utagera muri uyu mutego uzwi cyane? Amategeko yuzuye kubaza, byumvikana byoroshye: Ba wenyine. Birumvikana ko ari byoroshye cyane kuruta gukora, kuko tuzamenyekanisha amabwiriza asobanutse. Ntukore ikintu icyo ari cyo cyose, ndetse no munzira nyabake kandi bike cyane. Nturinde kandi ntukabe Julit. Niba udashaka gusubiza ikibazo kiziguye, mbwira rero. Ntugasa nkubufatanye numuntu kugirango amwishimire. Niba ibitekerezo bye nibikorwa bishimishije bigutangaje kumunsi wambere, ntibishoboka ko hari ikintu kizahinduka nyuma. Urukundo Togue - gutongana, gukunda vino - gutumiza vino, ntabwo ari amazi. Shiraho niba bikwiye kuvugana ningingo zikomeye kumunsi wambere? Uzahora ufite amahirwe yo kuganira kuri byose kumwanya wa kabiri, ariko umwanya ufite imyaka yacu ni umutungo w'agaciro, none kuki uyakoresha mubirori byubushinwa?

Benshi bamenyereye kugenda muri mask, batinya kwiyereka ubu, bidashobora guhangana nubutegetsi bwo kubaho. Niba uri muribi, tekereza kandi uteke uko bigenda iyo ubajijwe mbere yuko tumenyane nkawe. Ntukizere, ariko "biteye ubwoba" - ntukibona uyu muntu. Uburiri, sibyo?

Ukwayo, ndashaka kuvuga ibintu byingenzi nkibyo kumenyera ababyeyi ninshuti zumwe. Hano amategeko ari amwe. Ntugerageze kubona pai-umukobwa cyangwa umuhungu mwiza. Kuba verisiyo yubupfura cyane - kandi byose bizagenda.

No mu gahinda kandi mu byishimo

Igihe cyambere cyimibanire nicyiciro cyingenzi, kirangiza ubumwe bwawe, ariko nubwo byaragenda ko nyuma y'amezi atandatu y'urukundo byagaragaye ko hari umunyamahanga iruhande rwawe, ibintu byose byashoboraga gukosorwa. Mbere ya byose, gerageza wige uyu mutange. Reba, umva, ubitekerezeho mumagambo ye, kumva ibyifuzo n'amahame nyayo. Birashoboka rwose, ufite amahirwe, kandi nyuma ya masike ya reset, uzaba uwakubereye rwose. Muri iki gihe, bombi bazagira amahirwe menshi yo kubana. Tekereza ufite imashini yigihe, kina itariki yambere, ariko umaze gukurikiza amategeko yavuzwe haruguru - gerageza kuba wenyine kandi wenyine wenyine.

Niba igihe cyashyize ibintu byose mu mwanya wabyo kandi ntiwabonye "umwe", kandi umuntu udashimishije, ntugomba gutsimbarara kumwanya wa "mubucuti" kandi wicuze amezi yatakaye. Byihuse uva muri ubu bumwe, ubuzima (no mu mutwe, n'umubiri) uzakiza.

Noneho, uri hamwe, irari rya mbere rirasenyutse, ariko ubuzima buhuriweho ntibushobora kubeshya imizigo ku bitugu. Muri abashakanye uhamye mu rukundo, ari imbere yimyaka n'imyaka. Kugirango ari umucyo, wishimye - abashaka gusubiramo, kubidababaza ntabwo bibabaza, ugomba kubabaza, ugomba gukora. Nubwo waba hamwe numukunzi wawe wahujwe na kimwe cya kabiri cyimwe, ntibisobanura ko amafaranga yawe ahuye arakwemeza ubuzima bwigihe kinini kandi yishimye nta mbaraga nyinshi.

Kuvuga neza, amategeko rusange agenga miriyoni ebyiri zitandukanye ni nto cyane, ariko ni. Kandi uwambere hano ni ibyiringiro. Ntabwo ari ibyiringiro gusa ko mugenzi wawe atazaguhindura. Amaherezo, abashakanye bamwe bahakana akamaro ko ubuhemu bwumubiri, babaga mubukwe bwenwa kandi icyarimwe. Izere mugenzi wawe nizere ko bizaba hafi mubihe bigoye kandi byingenzi mubuzima bwawe, bizabera kuruhande rwawe, bizabera kuruhande rwawe, gukora mu nyungu zawe. Wibagirwe imvugo ngo "kwizerana, ariko reba." Kugenzura, ibizamini, ubukorikori - impamvu yagaragaye yo kwangiza umubano ubwuzu kandi uhamye. Kurikiza amategeko "ntabwo wafashwe - atari umujura." Baho nk'uruhande rwawe rwizewe kandi witanze, kuko niba utibeshye mugihe cyambere cyumubano, ni. Urukundo rutanga urukundo, kandi kimwe gishobora kuvugwa kubyerekeye kwizerana. Urukundo nta cyizere nacyo ni ubusa nkubwizere nta rukundo.

Urukundo rutanga urukundo, kandi kimwe gishobora kuvugwa kubyerekeye kwizerana

Urukundo rutanga urukundo, kandi kimwe gishobora kuvugwa kubyerekeye kwizerana

Ifoto: Ibisobanuro.com.

Amategeko ya kabiri yisi yose ava muri mbere. Ibibazo byose, amakimbirane nibibazo bijyanye nubumwe bwawe, muganire. Uri inyuma yirize kuri mugenzi wawe, kandi ntugomba gutuma ingorane zumuryango kuri gahunda mugihe ujyanye nabakobwa bakundana kubirori bya Bachelorette. Birumvikana ko kuganira neza kubagore cyangwa amabanga yerekeye abagabo - ubwoko bw'iteka bwo kwicarana n'inshuti magara, ariko ntugomba gutanga amabanga yerekeye undi, binubira cyangwa ngo uhagarike igice cyawe. Ibyo ufata imbere yinshuti nigice cyubaha hamwe nuwahinduwe hagati yawe nuwo mwashakanye. N'ubundi kandi, niba ushobora kuganira ku ngingo zose zirwaye n'ibibazo bitesha umutwe hamwe na mugenzi wawe, kuki ubikora hamwe nundi muntu?

Imipaka hamwe nubushake bwabo bukomeye nabwo ni "Umukobwa" icyizere. Nubwo wabakundana gute, nubwo waba uhuza imitima yawe, wibuke ko wowe nuwatoranijwe ari abantu batandukanye badafite intego, ariko bahitamo kuba hamwe. Kandi urashobora guhitamo kimwe guhitamo gutandukana. Uzagumaho iki nyuma yo gucika? Komeza, uhagarare urinda inyungu n'amahame yawe - udakunda wenyine, nkuko twibuka, gukunda umuturanyi ntibishoboka.

Birakenewe gusa kwibuka inyungu zawe, ariko utabangamiye mubucuti ntahantu. Menya ubwawe ibihe byingenzi nibidakora bijyanye n'ubuzima bwawe. Ntabwo ihindura umupfundikizo woza amenyo - ni ngombwa, birambaza ubuzima bwawe no kwizera ikiremwamuntu? Cyangwa iyi myanda mito idakwiye kwitabwaho? Ubuhanzi bwubwumvikane ni ngombwa gutandukanya ingaruka, kuva kwihangana kwa patologiya aho bidakenewe, guhagurukira wenyine. Gusa mugihe icyarimwe ujyane, birashoboka kuzigama no kugwiza ibyo bibaho hagati yawe.

Amategeko ajyanye no gutongana arasobanutse kandi arumvikana - mugihe uri mubushyuhe bwamakimbirane ushaka byinshi kugirango ukoreho mugenzi wawe, uzerera kandi wibuke ko uri kuruhande rwawe ntabwo ari umwanzi, kandi ukunda Umuntu ubwe yoroshye gutongana, reka areke ibintu byingenzi. Gutembera bizanyura, ariko amagambo yavuzwe n'uburakari, nshobora kwibuka igihe kirekire kandi ndangiza ikirere cyanyu.

Rimwe mu mategeko y'ingenzi ni ugushora mu muryango wawe. Buri gihe duhanganye kubera Egoism Nziza, ariko turagusaba kwibuka ikibazo rusange kidashobora kubaho ntabigizemo uruhare.

Nsigaye iburyo

Urukundo rw'iteka rubaho - Iki ni ikintu cyerekanwe naba psychologue. Mubwonko bwacu hari ibibanza birashobora gukangurira urukundo umuntu umwe imyaka myinshi. Ibi bivuze ko ushobora kongera gufungura umufatanyabikorwa, kandi nta myaka itatu, aho umuriro wifuza utoroshye, ntuba uteye ubwoba. Ariko bibaho ko inzira zabantu zitemewe. Muri societe yacu, gutandukana ntibigifatwa nkigiteye isoni kubagore. Kandi nibyiza! Ntidukwiye gukomeza umubano urwaye ukuri, kandi dufite umudendezo wo guhitamo. Bigaragara ko mubihe nkibi bishobora kuba isura ya steam, izaba hamwe kugeza igihe mukuru - kubushake, kuko aribishaka, kandi ntabwo ari igitutu cyibintu byo hanze.

Amategeko atatu:

1. Kuba inyangamugayo. Imiterere y'ingenzi y'ibyishimo no guhuza byombi muburyo bwa solo kandi mubumwe nubunyangamugayo, mbere ya byose bijyanye nabyo. Hatariho ibi bintu, ntabwo nzabona ibinyobwa byurukundo. 2. Ubudahemuka. Kandi ninde, nukuvuga, cyangwa ni iki tugomba gukomeza kuba abizerwa mubucuti no gutera imbere? Kuri wewe, hamwe namahame yawe, ibyifuzo byawe, hamwe nibitekerezo byawe, inzozi na gahunda. 3. Ubwisanzure. Utari ukumva ibyawe "Njye", icyubahiro no gukunda wowe ubwawe biragoye kwiyumvisha kubaha no gukunda undi. Shimira kandi urinde umudendezo wawe, kuko nurufunguzo rwumutuzo wawe, kwigirira icyizere no gutuza.

Ariko subira mubihe byurukundo, inyungu n'ibyifuzo bihinduka, kandi urumva ko ubumwe bwawe buri hafi kubora. Kugirango uzigame isura yumuntu, ubuzima kandi ugume mubucuti busanzwe numufasha, ugomba no gukurikiza amategeko amwe. Kuba inyangamugayo kandi ufata icyemezo. Ntibishoboka gukurura mugutandukana kubera impuhwe - amaherezo, gato nkayo, iyo bicujije aho gukunda urukundo. Ntugomba kugerageza kubabaza umuntu wahisemo, kuvuga amaherezo amagambo, vuga kubyerekeye inzika. Noneho ntibikiri ngombwa, kandi igihe cyibiganiro gisigaye. Gira neza kandi wabujijwe.

Urukundo, umunezero kuba hafi - Nibisubizo ntabwo ari ibihe byinshi byiza, akangahe, kora wenyine nubusabane. Byunamye, ariko mbega ukuri! Ukuri kworoshye - kubyerekeye impuhwe, icyizere, kubyerekeye imbibi z'umuntu - hano ni, ibanga, gufasha kugaragara no gushimangira ibyiyumvo by'iteka.

Uburyo bwo gutongana

Amakimbirane ni umwe mubagize umubano utagomba gukoreshwa, ariko ugomba kuba witeguye. Barashobora guhinduka ubwoko bwo gukura, ariko niba uzi gutongana.

Noneho: vugana na I-ubutumwa. Mu gihe cy'amakimbirane, vuga gusa ibyiyumvo byawe n'ubunararibonye, ​​gutangira ibitekerezo bivuye mu magambo "Ntekereza ..." Ntekereza ... "Noneho uzatangaza imyumvire ya mugenzi wawe y'ibihe, n'ibitero n'ibirego bizatakazwa n'amagambo.

Hindura "Wambabaje" kuri "Nababajwe cyane no kubona ko wowe ..." - Umuntu wumva verisiyo ya kabiri y'interuro, ntabwo yumva igitereko. Ntukajye kuri kamere, ntukine umukino "nawe ..."

Soma byinshi