"Kugira ngo wishime, ugomba gushaka umugabo uzagukunda uzaba umukunzi mwiza na se wita ku bandi, hanyuma utume abo batatu batujuje ..."
Amagambo ntabwo arukuri, ariko birababaje cyane kugirango izina ryiyi ngingo.
Benshi muritwe tugomba kurota umuntu, hafi igice cya kabiri, kizatuzuza neza. Fata imirimo tudashaka gufata umwanzuro no kwiyegurira nkana. Akenshi ushobora kumva nk'ibyo: "mpa ayo marangamutima yabuze."
Urugero rwiza ni abashakanye b'intangarugero, aho umugabo afunze nk'igisanduku, kandi umugore ni indabyo nto arinze. Umugabo winjije, kandi umugore atanga aya marangamutima. Emera, ishusho irakwiriye kuri benshi. Umugabo ni utuye, umugore - nyina n'umugore, umushyitsi murugo. Kandi buri wese mu "kage" ye, mu ruhare rwe atwara inshingano zayo kandi yishura. Abagore bashinja abagabo ko batanze umudendezo wabo, itangazamakuru na Tiranny, kandi abagabo bahugura bavuga ko bakora byose kubagore, kandi abakomeje gutenguha kandi ntibashima amasaha 24 yitonda mwizina ryumuryango. Kandi abo nabandi batangira kurota urukundo no gushimwa, akenshi babibona numuntu wa gatatu. Ishusho irasanzwe cyane.
Noneho, nturota urukundo? Hari ikitagenda neza mugushaka guhura numuntu wawe?
Ntakintu kiva muri izi nzozi, gusa iyi ni mirame nziza kandi ishimangira ubuzima. Ariko, iyo turose umuntu wacu, ni ngombwa kuzirikana ko atagomba gukora ikintu. Ntuzaze koroshya umutwaro w'amafaranga cyangwa gukira ibikomere byashize mu rukundo. Iyo abafatanyabikorwa babaye buri wese mu ba psychotherapiste, bakikiza ibikomere bya mugenzi wabo cyangwa bazirikana uburambe bubabaza bwahise, umugereka hagati yabo arakura, kandi akundana no guhuza ibitsina. Abashakanye bahinduka inshuti zishyushye, ariko umubano wabakundana urashonga. Hamwe no gusohoka mu buryo bwemewe - kugirango ubone undi wuzuza umwobo wikiruhuko mubuzima. Inzozi z'umuriro wacu ni ukuvugana kuri ibyo bibazo:
Ati: "Nagiye mu bwoko bumwe bwo guhugura, hari abantu batandukanye bashimishije, byimbitse, kandi bahura n'umugabo, ndetse no izina kubwimpamvu zimwe nibuka - max. Muri ayo mahugurwa, twateranye, namenyereye neza kandi nkundana. Ku bijyanye no gukomeza gushyikirana, navuze ko mfite umugabo n'umwana mu buryo mu buryo mu buryo butunguranye bamutuje. Ikigaragara ni uko ikiganiro kirimo nticyavutse mbere. Ntabwo nibuka ukuntu, ariko naje kuba ku rukiko "ku isi hose - mubari bateze amatwi abantu bose" mu bateraniye aho, aho hari amahugurwa, - mbwira inkuru y'ubuzima, kuko byari bigoye kuri njye kubona icyogajuru cya Ubuzima, bwibeshye kandi bushishikaye urukundo, kandi bubona igitsina gusa. Noneho umugabo uriho yaje kuba umugabo wangose yitayeho, kandi nicyo nashakaga. Mbere na mbere hari ukuntu ari bibi kwari ukubwira byose, ahubwo ni impamvu runaka byari ngombwa. Hanyuma ikintu cyingenzi cyabaye icyo nshaka - ibi max byakomeje kugira ibyiyumvo byuje ubwuzu, ariko bimaze gufata ibyo ndimo, inkuru zanjye zose. "
Biragaragara ko gusinzira atari ukuri kumubiri. Ibitotsi bimubwira ko arota urukundo mubuzima bwe. Urukundo ni imbaraga, arabyuka ubuzima bukomeye kurusha ibindi bihugu byinshi. Urukundo ni indwara urota kurwara, nkuko Irwine yanditse. Inzozi zerekana ko arota urukundo rwinshi kuri we, ko akunzwe kandi akifatwa nkayo. Bivuga kuri ibyo ko avuga ku "urukiko", ibi bijyanye na we bituma akundwa na menapterical.
Ibitotsi byerekana ko gukunda wenyine mu buzima bwe. Mugihe arimo kubishakisha mubindi bintu, kubagabo. Ariko ntasinziriye, abakuze, arashobora kwiga kwikunda atitaye kubantu bose.
Inama nziza. Ndabaza ibyo urota? Ohereza inzozi zawe nibibazo ukoresheje mail [email protected].
Maria Dyachkova, umuganga wa psychologue, umuvuzi wumuryango, amahugurwa yambere yibikorwa byimikurire yimyidagaduro Marika Khazin