Twese turi abantu bakuru kandi twiteguye kwiyemerera ubwawe: nta cyiza, igikomangoma ku ifarashi yera cyangwa umwamikazi mwiza mukigo, wigeze gukurura ibitekerezo byacu. Kandi iyo twiteguye kwakira ubusembwa bwisi no kujyana mugenzi wawe nkuko biri (kubera ko asa nkaho ari kure), bibaho. Ubwumvikane buke cyane, butuma buri mwaka bitera hafi kimwe cya kabiri cyo gutandukana kwisi. Turamenye niba bikwiye guharanira umubano uramutse uretse kumva.
Reba! Nukuri mubidukikije hari bibiri byari nkaho byaremwe, ariko mugihe kimwe nabakunda cyane bafite ibitagenda neza. Ahari wowe na mugenzi wawe ubwawe ubwabo bahindutse mubashakanye batengushye abarambiwe gushaka ingingo. Ariko mbere yuko ibintu byose byari bitandukanye. Kandi itangira cyane: intego n'inyungu rusange, imiterere rusange, isi imwe, ni, nigute, sinshobora kurwana n 'intandiko nk'iyi? Yoo, ariko birashoboka, uko, abagore benshi n'abagabo n'abagabo benshi binubira kumva bafite irungu mu bashakanye, kugira ngo bumve igihombo no gutererana.
Kandi icyarimwe, ni iy'umuntu (reka kandi abenegihugu), kuba umwe mubintu birenze we ubwe, nimwe mubikenewe byingenzi byumuntu. Ntabwo ari umwana gusa! Niba kugirango umwana agire nyina mugihe runaka bisobanura ubuzima bwiza, noneho, reka imvururu no kwanga ababyeyi, ni ngombwa cyane kugirango ugumane.
Iyo tuvuye mucyari cyawe kavukire, birabeshya cyangwa nyuma twumva dukeneye ubumwe bwurukundo. Birumvikana ko kuvuga, kuvuga umuntu wese ushakisha umuntu uwo ari we wese, kugira ngo "hafi." Ariko numuntu washoboye gukura umuntu ukomeye, ntabwo agira ibibazo numupaka kandi ntatinya irungu, iki gikenewe kirahari. Uyu munsi tuzavuga kubantu bashira umubano nubugingo numufatanyabikorwa, ariko nyuma yigihe yatengushye imbere yurukundo.
Igitangaje ni uko benshi muri twe dushaka gutekereza kubyo dushobora kuba bisa muri byose usibye ururimi tumenyana murukundo
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Isi yo kwibeshya
Bavuga ko umutima urimo guhangayika mugihe "wacitse" - mu buryo bw'ikigereranyo, birumvikana. Uku kuri ntikwanditseho imitekerereze ya phsion gusa, ariko kandi, ariko nanone, nabonye ko sisitemu y'imiti y'imiti y'imiti y'imitima itanze imibereho itunguranye hamwe nubuzima bwuzuye bwumubiri mugihe umurwayi aherutse guhungabana, kurugero, hamwe nurukundo rudashoboye.
"Indimi" Urukundo
Amagambo. Dukurikije imibare, abagore benshi bakunda rwose amatwi, bityo rero babona ko kwigaragaza kwibyimva bagaragaje amagambo. Ariko imibare imwe ituruka ku buryo atashimangiye amagambo y'ibikorwa, ishyaka n'urukundo bizagutera mu mezi ya mbere y'igitabo gitunguranye.
Ibikorwa. Amaganya meza nibimenyetso byo kwitabwaho muburyo bw'impano, inama ku kibuga cy'indege, kugura ibicuruzwa bikenewe mu iduka ryegereye ndetse n'igitambaro gishya kititondetswe mu bwiherero - ibikorwa bivuga urukundo bitagomba kuba "binini". Ubuzima bugizwe na trifles nibisobanuro!
Guhura. Icyiciro kidasanzwe cyabakunzi kizi uburyo kandi ukunda "kwerekana" ubufasha bwigihe bafite ubushake bwo kumarana nibintu byifuzo, no guhuza umubiri. Aba ni abantu bafite akamaro kuri tactile sennies zitinda gutandukana kandi "igihano" cyo kubura igitsina, guhobera cyangwa gusomana.
Byongeye kandi: Uyu mubabaro ufite ibyiciro byacyo nicyiciro cyacyo. Ububabare "budake" bukunze kwimurwa byoroshye kuruta ububabare bwo kubura. Inshuti z'ababyeyi banjye zabonye ubutane buremereye. Impamvu zose twigeze tumenya, ariko abashakanye bamenye mama na papa (kugiti cyabo no hamwe) ko amarangamutima atagiye gutandukana, ariko bahatirwa kubice, kuko bayoborana n'ikamba ryera . Haba muri mirongo itanu, ntibigeze batekereza ko inshuti idafite inshuti, ariko ntibyihanganirwa. Noneho icyuho cyabaye. Mama yashyigikiye umukobwa wumukobwa, papa yagerageje kubona inshuti, kandi nibutse ko ababyeyi bamaze gufata ingamba nkiryo ndetse bakanatandukana umwaka. Ubumwe bwabo bwakijije imana yanjye, yari umukinnyi wa psychotherapiste. Mu buryo bwiza, nta burenganzira yari afite bwo gukorana nabo, kuko aba bari abantu ba hafi. Ariko ababyeyi - gahunda yo kuzimya kera, nta mutego wa psychologiste nabandi "Mozrekravov" ntibamenyekanye, kandi bagombaga kubatera ubwoba mu gicuti. Nyuma y'amezi atari make y'ibiganiro byo mu mwuka, nyina yahumuye amaso. Yatahuye ko yasabye Data icyo adashobora gutanga. Ntabwo ari ibyago, atari ukubera ko adakunda, ariko ni byo Mama yashakaga, ntafite. Nta bushobozi bwo kuvuga amagambo meza muri yo, abanzi batura ibyiyumvo, batanga ishimwe, inkunga n'ibiganiro. Ariko hari ikindi kintu. Papa yamye ari umufasha mwiza wo guhinga, yashoboraga guteka ifunguro rya sasita, kuvanaho inzu, kubaka akazu. Bagaragaje rero urukundo rwe no kumwitaho, ariko nyina ntiyabonye uru rurimi rw'urukundo, kuko ururimi rwe rwari rutandukanye. Kandi iyo ubushishozi bubaye, intambwe ikurikiraho ni ukurera uku kuri. Noneho "yakuweho" na se wabonye ko imyizerere itagira iherezo, ibiganiro, byiza (kandi bisa nkibicucu, nkuko byasaga na Papa) kandi ntabwo ari uburyo bwo kwiyumvisha "kubona" kubona " ". Noneho babona ibi bihe, rimwe na rimwe birakangisha, ariko ntibitukane mu kutitaho ibintu. Ariko kumuntu wuje urukundo nta kirego kibi! Noneho ubukwe bwabo burakomeye kandi buhamye kuruta mbere hose.
Nigute, ubajije, byashobokaga kubana hagati yabo, kugirango tutabyumva nkibi, birasa nkibintu byibanze? Igitangaje ni uko benshi muri twe dushaka gutekereza kubyo dushobora kumera kuri buri wese usibye ururimi tumenyana murukundo. Guhuza ibitekerezo byacu ntibikwiye igiceri, niba tudashobora gushyikirana, soma ubutumwa kuri mugenzi wawe. Tekereza ko wahuye n'umunyamahanga. Mburabuzi, uyu muntu ni iherezo ryawe. Iragukwiriye nk'igice cya puzzle yizerwa, ni byiza, ariko ... Avuga mu rundi rurimi, ndetse nta no mubyumva. Utekereza ute ubumwe? Gusa mugihe utangiye kwiga imvugo yacu kandi birashobora gushiraho imibonano. Bitabaye ibyo, uzibutsa abatumva babiri bagerageza kwerekana ibitekerezo byabo mubusa.
Nyumva nanjye
Ku nshuro ya mbere, igitekerezo cyo kubora ibintu byose hamwe no guhindura indimi z'abakunzi bavuga, baje kumwanditsi Umunyamerika Gary Chamman. Mu 1992, yasohoye igitabo "Indimi eshanu z'urukundo", yegeranye kuba umutsima wa Busseller. Ariko, Gary ntabwo ariwo kuvuka muriki kibazo. Ariko niwe washoboye kugeza ku musomyi wa Misa igitekerezo ko tutari utandukanye gusa (byaragaragaye neza), ahubwo tunagaragaza ibyiyumvo byacu muburyo butandukanye. Bigaragara ko igihembo nk'iki kidashobora kugira ingaruka ku munsi mukuru utagira akagero, wategetse abantu n'abagore, ariko, ku bushakashatsi bwakozwe mu mutwe ku butandukane, nyuma yo gusoma umunani mu bashakanye icumi byari yahisemo kuva mukibazo.
None ni izihe ndimi zivuga? Basaga nkaho bava mwizina, batanu, ariko ni ngombwa kumva ko kwandika icyo ari byo byose bifite ibitekerezo byayo. Turakunze kuba abatwara byitwa imvugo nindimi zivanze.
Uribuka interuro abagore bakunda ugutwi? Nukuri! Umubare munini wabadamu ukunda kwerekana no kwakira urukundo muburyo bwamagambo. "Uyu munsi, ni gute uyu munsi?", "Ntiwahagaritswe?" Reka tuganire! "," Kuki ucecetse igihe cyose? " - Hano hari interuro imenyerewe. Abantu bavuga mubyukuri urukundo rwabo ni ngombwa cyane kumwumva. Barababara niba ibirori bicecetse, niba bidakoreshwa mu gutangaza yifuza bitaziguye niba aho kuganira kubugingo abaza icyo agomba gukora kugirango byoroshye. Bifitanye isano no kunegura no kwamagana abantu nkabo: Ntabwo ari ukubera ko "ari" Kisiny ", gusa mugihe amagambo yurukundo yabanebwa nkuwanze kubangamira.
Umuntu ni amagambo yingenzi, umuntu - akoraho
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Abagabo bahitamo kwatura ibyiyumvo byabo nibikorwa. Waba umenyereye kubona abafasha? Yimanitse amanika umutware, kandi iduka iramanuka, imodoka izabimenya. Kuri we, ibyo bikorwa byose bihwanye no kwatura cyane mu rukundo munsi ya Windows.
Ubundi buryo ni ugutanga impano buri gihe. Mw'isi ya none, uru rurimi rwangiritse, ariko mbere impano zihenze zafatwaga ko zikwiriye gushyikirizwa abantu ba hafi. Ariko, ntabwo ari ikiguzi hano, ahubwo ni ibijyanye no kwitabwaho. Bouquet ntoya mu rwego rwo guharanira ku wa gatanu, ikarita ni make, guhitamo indirimbo z'umwindi ntangiriro - ubwo buryo bwose bwo kuvuga: "Ndagukunda." Kubantu bazi kuvuga uru rurimi, amatariki atazibagirana ni ngombwa cyane, kandi niba uwo mwashakanye yibagiwe kubyerekeye isabukuru, bizaba impamvu yo gushidikanya ibyiyumvo bye.
Abashobora kudatanga ibikoresho gusa, ariko nanone, bafatwa nkintwara urukundo rwibintu bidasanzwe byurukundo. Niba witeguye kuba hafi, reba neza firime cyangwa usome ibitabo, kugenda cyangwa guteka, mu ijambo, kuba mubyandi, ubaye kuri abo bantu! Niba umukunzi wawe avuze gutya, ibuka ko kuri we habaho gutandukana igihe kirekire cyangwa, kubinyuranye, kwidagadura buri gihe hamwe muri "Nta munsi udafite inshuti". Abantu nkabo bashimira ibihe hamwe, ariko kandi ni ngombwa "guhumeka" wenyine. Biragaragara ko umubano ukwiranye, ariko imiterere, mugihe umwe mubashakanye yagiye mu ngendo zigihe gito yubucuruzi, yemewe.
Hanyuma, imvugo ya gatanu y'urukundo ni umubiri. Na we, nk'impano ", yabuze imitungo yo kwita ku byiyumvo ku byiyumvo, kuko muri iki gihe ntibisobanura kwemera urukundo (ikintu kidafite imyitwarire irenze). Nubwo bimeze bityo ariko, hariho abo duhobera, gukoraho, gusomana no guhuza ibitsina bisobanura kwerekana urwego rwo hejuru rwo kwizerana no kwitabwaho. Niyo mpamvu ari ngombwa cyane guhura numufatanyabikorwa hamwe numufatanyabikorwa mumiterere, kuko "kuba fiziki aho kuba umufatanyabikorwa cyangwa ikindi gihe cyo kwirengagiza umukunzi cyangwa ikindi gihe cyo kwirengagiza gukiza no kunanirwa urukundo.
Nkuko tumaze kubona, "Indimi" zisukuye zidasanzwe, akenshi duhuza ubwoko bwinshi, kurugero, nimpano ikomeye yumubiri, nyamukuru kandi itesha agaciro.
Igisubizo
Kandi icyo gukora, mugihe tubi bikabaye, ariko urakavuga ko utavuga rumwe nukuri? N'ubundi kandi, urashaka cyane cyane amagambo yoroheje, ibikorwa bifatika cyangwa kugendana hejuru! Mbere ya byose, ni ngombwa kumva niba urukundo ruri mubumwe bwawe. Twaganiriye ku buryo bwo kumuvugaho, kandi niba wowe hamwe na mugenzi wawe rwose uhuza ibyiyumvo bikomeye, ntabwo ari akamenyero cyangwa kugenda kuri inertia, ni ibyiyumvo byanze bikunze bizakureba muburyo bumwe cyangwa ubundi.
Akenshi abadashobora guhamya neza mumashyirahamwe adasuzuguwe bitari uwufatanye nurukundo. Niba ntacyo ufite cyo kuvuga, reka wigaragaze mundimi zose zisi, ntuzashobora kugeza kumakuru afatanyabikorwa kubyerekeye umugereka wawe, kwita no kubaha no kubahana.
Akenshi abadashobora gufata ibyemezo barwanya ubumwe butabarwanwa nurukundo
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Iyo hari urukundo, ariko ntubona amazi ye, kuko mugenzi wawe, avuga mu buryo bw'ikigereranyo, umunyamahanga, agomba kubona umwirondoro. Noneho agaciro ke katoroshye bijyanye na benshi, kubwibyo, bidafite ishingiro. Njye, Maximalist to kongendo k'amagufwa, umuntu wabonye umukara n'umweru gusa igihe kirekire, mu ishyingiranwa rye ryasobanukiwe ikintu cyoroshye: aho hari umwanya wo kubona ingingo yo guhura nta gihohoterwa kandi byangiza ibyawe Kamere, hariho ituze, n'imbaraga, no kumva turengera. Ntabwo mpangayikishijwe no gukenera kuvuga "oya", ariko guhora nshyira imbere ubwanjye, kuba umwe mubumwe, ninyobokishwa ni igihe gito. Nkibisubizo byukuri, abantu bashoboraga gukora ubumwe bwizewe bwo kwishima no guhuza kugirango bagire ubumwe bwizewe, yishora mu rugamba rwubwisanzure bwabo. Agaciro, hamwe nuburemere bwa "hamwe": Wowe kubushake, kubwibyishimo byawe, uhuye nundi muntu, utandukanye nawe, utegereze ko ibintu byose byoroshye, bidafite ishingiro. Ariko niba nta byishimo bivuye mu itumanaho, kandi kumvikana bizaba mu mutwaro.
Byumvikana kwiga ururimi rwa mugenzi wawe? Birumvikana. Uzabona rero ibimenyetso, uturika, ubwitonzi nubushyuhe, biguha umukunzi, reka kandi ntabwo ari muburyo bwamenyereye. Ni ngombwa kandi kumubwira kandi ko wowe ubwawe ukoreshwa mu kwerekana ibyiyumvo muburyo runaka. Ntamuntu utegereje Muschun kwandika ibisigo, kandi umuntu umenyereye kuvuga ku rukundo abifashijwemo yo guhobera azatangira kuguha impano buri munsi, ariko rimwe na rimwe gerageza kwigaragaza mu rurimi rw'undi. Twese twiga rero nahisemo, twemera umwihariko wabo. Ariko nta rufatiro rurambye kubumwe ubwo aribwo bwose burenze kwemerwa no kubahana.
Urashobora kunyumva?
- Ni ngombwa ko udatakaza ubushobozi bwo gutega amatwi, nubwo wunvise amaherezo ntibikora. Wibuke ko iki ari ikibazo cyo kwitoza! Gariyamoshi ntabwo ibona nkigikoresho gikwiye cyerekezo cyawe.
- Wibuke ko urukundo rudaguha uburenganzira butagira iherezo mugihe cye, imbaraga no kubitaho.
- Ba nyirakuru bacu bakunze guhabwa cyane abakiri bato b'Inama y'Ubwenge bashima uwo bahisemo. UKORESHEJE! Ntabwo ari ngombwa gusenyuka muri verbose itagira iherezo, ariko ukeneye kumenya imbaraga z'umukunzi wawe.
- Niba ukeneye gushimira no kumenyekana, ubivuge. Nta byiyumvo byangiza kuruta imiterere yabyo hafi muri couple.