Niki udakeneye gukora nyuma yuburyo umukunzi wawe?

Mu myitozo yanjye ya psychotherapeutic, buri gihe mbona ikibazo cyo guhemukira. Yoo, uyumunsi, ariko, nka mbere, ubushyuhe bujyanye ni ikintu rusange. Nta bantu ba siporo babwira anecdote, Shoot firime, andika ibitabo kuriyi ngingo. Impamvu zimpinduka zirashobora kuba zitandukanye - icyifuzo cyo gutandukanya rusange, icyifuzo cyo kwihesha kwihesha agaciro, kwihorera mu rwego rwo kubura ubugambanyi kandi kuri. Kandi rero, iyo abantu bahuye niki gikorwa kidashimishije, ikibazo cyanze bikunze kivuka - Niki gukora ubutaha? Nigute wabikora? Kugabanyirizwa cyangwa ntabwo? Ubuhemu bushobora gutera ububabare budashoboka, kuko iki ari ugukubita cyane umubano, no kwihesha agaciro, numva umwihariko wawe. Iki nikibazo, kugirango ubeho bidashoboka cyane. Kandi ikintu cya mbere cyane gukorwa nukwemera ko ndi muriki kibazo cyane kandi ukeneye inkunga nimpuhwe. Yego, yego, nanjye, ntabwo ari undi. Ubufasha burashobora kuganira nabakunzi. Cyangwa, kubinyuranye, kugirango ukire vuba, imiti myiza irashobora kuba irungu. Umuntu ufite akamaro azajya kuri theatre cyangwa muri firime kugirango asuzugure. Amahirwe yo kwibeshaho cyane, kandi bose ni umuntu ku giti cye. Ikintu nyamukuru nukumenya akababaro kawe no kwicuza muburyo bukwiye.

Noneho ni ngombwa kugerageza kureba uko ibintu bimeze, kwitandukanya no mumutwe mubuzima bwawe. Ntukeneye kwirengagiza no guhagarika ibyiyumvo byawe, ariko ntibigomba kubahira neza nabo. Gufata umwanya wo hanze ugana mubihe, bizoroha kumva icyo ushaka mubucuti. Urashobora kugerageza kwiyumvisha ko umubano urangiye, urokoka ubu bubabare. Nibyiza uzibuka intego ufite mubukwe, zizana umunezero utitaye kumufatanyabikorwa, hanyuma utekereze niba ushobora gukomeza kubaho udafite iyi mibanire. Kumenya ko udatatana, birashobora kuba inkunga ikomeye yo kugarura ubumwe bwawe. Ndashaka gushimangira ko tutavuga ku mwanya wo kwerekana "atari byinshi unkeneye cyane," bisobanura rwose "kunsoma."

Hanyuma, icy'ingenzi (mbere yaho ni imyiteguro) ni ugukora ibiganiro bifunguye na mugenzi wacyo. Muganire kubisanzwe muri ubukwe, bwahindutse mubihe, ibyo wahuye nukuntu byagenze, nkuko ubibona ibizavamo. Muri icyo gihe, gerageza kuvuga kumugaragaro, kwirinda kunegura no gushinja ibirego, bazakora gusa umufasha kwirwanaho kandi ntibazafasha gukemura ikibazo.

Aracyashaka kuburira kubyo utagomba gukora:

- Shakisha inkunga kumufatanyabikorwa. Ntazashobora kuguha, kuko we ubwe yahuzuyemo amarangamutima avuguruzanya;

- Guhora dukurikirana aho umugabo wawe / umusore wawe ari kandi niki. Kandi kandi akenshi ubaze icyo atekereza. Ibi birashobora kuganisha ku ngaruka zinyuranye, nkuko umubano uzabona ko ari Inyongeramusaruro;

- Muganire ku muvuduko w'ubuhemu - Iyo, igihe, kimwe na ... aya makuru arambuye azibukwa igihe kirekire, biragoye kubyibagirwa, kandi imyaka myinshi bazakubabaza.

Nibyo, igisubizo rusange kubibazo: "Icyo gukora iki?" ntabwo ariho. Ariko, amaze gukora akazi nk'iyo kuri we, yishura kandi agafata icyemezo azoroha.

Abashakanye batandukanye bavuga ukundi kuri ubuhemu. Umuntu biroroshye kurokoka, umuntu aragoye cyane. Nkuko namaze kwandika muri imwe mu ngingo zabanjirije iyi, ibibazo birashobora gusenyuka kugirango umubano, kandi wenda amahirwe yo kwiteza imbere. Ni muri urwo rwego, isegonda iterwa nuburyo abafatanyabikorwa bafunguye bazashobora kuganira kumubano, bakerekana neza ibyiyumvo byabo no kwishingikiriza muriki gihe.