Ni uruhe rungano rwe ku ruyabaga?
Urungano rwingimbi ni indorerwamo aho isa nayo igaragara nabo no gutandukana biragaragara; ibipimo, aho ahindura indangagaciro zaryo; Ku wa gatatu, ufite akamaro kanini kuri we, aho ashaka kwemerwa, aho inzozi zo kumvikana no gutinya kwangwa.
Abaganga b'Abanyamerika b'Abanyamerika bakoze ubushakashatsi bwamatsiko. Bahisemo gushiraho igihe abangavu bamaranye na bagenzi babo n'ababyeyi babo. Buri wese mu bitabiriye amahugurwa yahawe pager ibibazo by'abashakashatsi yaje ku manywa. Kuri buri butumwa, ingimbi zagombaga gusubiza ako kanya, aho n'abo. Byaragaragaye ko igice kinini cyigihe (50%), abarimu bafunzwe ninshuti hamwe nabanyeshuri mwigana kandi 30% gusa byitangwa ubwabo.
Mu ngendo ku wa gatatu, umwangavu atera imbaraga kugira ngo ahangane n'impinduka muri yo, kandi irashaka ibipimo bishya ku myitwarire yabo. Aho uhora atwikira ibikorwa bye no kuba abandi bamutegereje, bagerageza kumugereranya, ibyiyumvo, ibikorwa bijyanye n'amahame n'amahame byemejwe mu nshuti. Binyuze mu rundi ruvuvu, ntabwo yisanga gusa, arakomeza. Bonyine, kwigisha, umubano n'abarimu n'ababyeyi bajya inyuma. Kubwibyo, uburakari bukabije no kwigaragambya kumutera umubyeyi na papa, ibyo pol yakiriye kuri bamwe mu nshuti.
Uyu munsi, biragoye kuri uyumunsi, biragoye kwibuka ibyo isosiyete yingimbi yigeze kugira akamaro kuri bo nicyo buhanga bw'agaciro twaguze. Kurugero, muri psychologiya hariho igitekerezo nk'iki - "ibintu" by'inshingano ", iyo umuntu yemeye uburenganzira bwa kindi mu isosiyete ishyiraho inshingano zo gutsinda cyangwa kunanirwa ubucuruzi. Nigute wakora udafite ubu buhanga mumatsinda yose akuze mugihe kizaza? Kurugero, niba itsinda ritari ryoroheje cyane, kunanirwa byitirirwa umuntu wenyine, kandi niba hari isano ya hafi, buri wese mu bitabiriye amahugurwa agira uruhare mu gutsindwa cyangwa gutsinda byose byagezweho.
Ukurikije imiterere yubucuti nurungano, ababyeyi barashobora kumva neza neza umwana yakira mu itumanaho kandi adakeneye ubufasha bukuru. Kuberiki kandi kubyo umwangavu ashaka abadashobora gutera kwemerwa nabasaza? Kuki bishimishije kuri we kandi ni iki gishobora kwishyura icyifuzo nk'iki?
Gutwikira ibitabo "roho yumuseya wawe. UBUYOBOZI BW'AKAREKE B'ABABYEYI »
Nigute turi inshuti?
Ubucuti hagati y'urungano bubaho byibuze impamvu enye.
Niba umwangavu ashima imbaraga, kwihangana, gusuzugura, bizatangira rwose guhuza nabasore bafite iyo mico. Ubu bwoko bwubucuti ni "hasi-hasi" - bushingiye ku buryo bwo gutanga no kuganduka igice. Umwangavu urashaka kumera nkabandi, kugerageza kwigana gukomera - imyenda, uburyo bwo gufata, kuganira. Ongeraho ubucuti nk'ubwo - umwana azakomeza guteza imbere mu cyerekezo kimwe nk'ibyo akunda.
Uburyo bwa kabiri bwimibanire ya gicuti nubumwe nabashima ubuziranenge ufite. Umwangavu yumva akenewe, abona umuntu nyawe, kuko muri sosiyete ishimirwa ubumenyi nubuhanga (urugero, ikintu cyo guhimba umupira cyangwa ngo asobanure neza amahitamo ya Gadget nshya). Ubucuti nk'ubwo buteza imbere ubumenyi bwo gucunga no gutegeka, kandi kandi yigisha kumva ibyiringiro. Ubu bwoko bwubucuti ni "kwaguka kuva hejuru kugeza hasi" - bigizwe no gutegeka umuntu, utegeka amategeko mugihe abandi bagomba kumvira.
Imirongo ya gatatu yubucuti bwingimbi burahagije, ikomeza kuba ingirakamaro mumyaka myinshi. Kurugero, abakozi ba karindwi bafite ishyaka ryimibare ni bashoboye kimwe, imirimo irakemuka neza kandi ibizamini biragerageza gusohoza imirimo iragoye. Muri icyo gihe bashishikajwe no kuvugana hanze yishuri ndetse hanze yamasomo. Ubucuti nk'ubwo bufata uburyo bwo guhuza cyangwa urugamba, buba intego y'imbere, nubwo umubano wubakiye ku buringanire bw'ababuranyi.
Hariho ubwoko bwa kane mugihe ingimbi zavuganaga, ziganje cyangwa kugengwa nundi, hanyuma ikindi. Imbere mu buryo bwo guhura nabana nkabo bakora ubucuti budahungabana nubucuti bwabo. Ubu bwoko bwimibanire bwanze bikunze itanga imizingo kandi bigatera amakimbirane, kandi birashoboka cyane ko bidatinze, umwangavu azubaka gukomera muri iryo tsinda. Yoo, ubwoko nk'ubwo bw'ubucuti ni amakosa cyane, bitwara amafaranga ya Hooliganism, ashopiarism, ubugome.
Niba umwana adagize umubano na bagenzi kandi nta ncuti, byanze bikunze akenewe nubufasha bwababyeyi naba psychologue kugirango bumve ikibazo gihujwe niki kimenyetso kitari cyiza. Byongeye kandi, niba, usibye ishuri no murugo, umwana ntazi aho yikorera kandi icyo akora, niba yumva atameze neza mwishuri, arashobora kwinjira mu kigo giteye ubwoba.
Ndibuka inkuru yabayeho mu buryo busanzwe hashize imyaka ibiri. Agace gatuje kandi woroheje Natasha, wakuze mu muryango wateye imbere mu isura, ntabwo yari afite abakobwa bakobwa na gato. Yize nta nubwo yari afite ubwoba, atinya kwitonda. Ubutumire bwa mwarimu bwo gusubiza ikibaho byamuteye ubwoba. Umukobwa yakundaga kumva amagambo atyaye kuri Mwigisha wicyongereza, nuko atakunda iki kintu, nkabandi barushijeho kubikora. Umuryango ntiwahangayikishijwe cyane cyane no gufunga umukobwa no kurira. Ibyo ari byo byose, ababyeyi bakomeje kutitaho ibintu. Igihe kimwe, umuturanyi usabana na Natasha gusura, aho urubyaro rwateraniye hamwe. Baganiriye ku buzima, ku byerekeye urukundo, ku mibanire. Byari bishimishije, kandi umushyitsi mushya yabyitayeho. Byongeye kandi, yatumiriwe kongera guhura. Nahasha rero yabaye ubusanzwe iyi sosiyete. Mu mezi abiri, impinduka zaragaragaye: Hatuje cyane kandi wizeye, yaje no gusoma ibitabo mu Cyongereza. Yakiriye ibyo bitabo biturutse kuri tuziranye. Muri bo, yahuye n'umusore, urukundo rwe. Ibintu byose nibyiza niba atari kuba isosiyete nshya yari agatsiko ka Munitov. Bidatinze, Natacya yavuye mu nzu, atura muri komini, amena n'ababyeyi be batwaye ibintu by'agaciro no kuzigama. Nkikirugo gishimishije, rwatangiye kunyohereza hamwe ninyigisho zinyigisho zukwezi mu bihugu bitandukanye. Yatangaje ko afitanye n'ababyeyi be ahagarika kubashyigikira.
Nibyiza kwigisha umwangavu gukora mubucuti nabantu batekereje, bimwibutsa umugani wu Burusiya "inshuro zirindwi, Urupfu rumwe." Ubwa mbere, tekereza, reba kumpande zitandukanye, gupima, hitamo inzira hanyuma ukore. Kwishingikiriza ku gusuzuma, ibitekerezo n'imyizerere byemejwe mu isosiyete barimo, rimwe na rimwe bitera ingimbi kwitegura kugira ibitekerezo byabo, kandi ntibarengera imyizerere yabo n'indangagaciro zabo.
Nigute dushobora kugereranya ireme ry'ubucuti bw'umwana? Biragaragara, byoroshye. Mubyukuri ningirakamaro birashobora kwitwa gusa iyo mibanire gusa abasore borohewe nabo; Bumva bafite icyizere, ntibabambure imbibi z'ibibazo bifatika, kubahiriza amategeko yemejwe muri sosiyete, bamagumane ubucuti no gusobanukirwa no gusobanukirwa n'ababyeyi, ntugire amabanga mabi cyangwa erotic. Umuzingo ukomeye mubisanzwe ugomba gutera amaganya.
Kwiyongera kwubucuti bwingimbi ntigifite muguhindura abayobozi gusa. Mu mibanire iri hagati y'ingimbi habaho ahantu ho guceceka, guceceka, kwemererwa, kwihangana n'amahoro yo mu mutima - "byose muri kimwe cya kabiri, byose mu kivandimwe, byose." Kubwibyo, akenshi ababyeyi babyumva bati: "Nshobora kuvuga byoroshye ibintu byose kuri byose," Buri gihe nizeye inshuti. Nzi icyo atekereza, kabone niyo yaba acecetse. " Ubucuti bwa hafi kandi bukomeye, hakurikijwe ingingo z'ingimbi baganira, ntibashishikajwe n'ubunararibonye n'ibitekerezo by'ababyeyi.
Abagenzi ba psychologue bahisemo ko 20% gusa byabangavu bahitamo irungu. Nibisanzwe niba umwana ashishikajwe nakazi: gushushanya, umuziki, kwandika, - ibyo ni ukuvuga ibikorwa bisaba kwibanda. Irungu rihinduka ikibazo kandi rizana uburambe bukomeye iyo gihatiwe niba umwangavu atemeye isosiyete yahisemo (reba igice "Ingimbi" Ingimbi yegunga "). Benshi mu ingimbi - 80% - Shakisha umuntu umeze nkubwenge, inshuti nyinshi (kanda) cyangwa ni benshi (sosiyete). Mubisanzwe bakwegereye ababa hafi yabo bakomokamo, inyungu, bifite izina risa cyangwa ibintu. Umuntu mukuru abaye ingimbi, ubwiza hazaba uruziga rwinshuti ze, kandi abasore mudahuje igitsina bazashyirwa muri byo.
Umuhungu + umukobwa
Inyungu ahantu hatandukanye igaragara mubana mbere y'ibyago. Turabona icyifuzo cyo kwita ku cyiza cyawe kimaze kuba mu banyeshuri bato; Mu mashuri yisumbuye, abangavu bashishikajwe n Ninde ukunda kandi kuki, kandi gutakaza gutangira. Kumenya impinduka byatangiriye ahanini murungano, umwangavu yabashyizemo ubwayo. Ubucuti hagati y'ingimbi mu mibonano mpuzabitsina itandukanye bihinduka ishuri nyaryo ryo kwiga. Kandi hano ugomba kuvuga kubyerekeye ubumenyi mubyukuri kubona ingimbi mugihe cyamatariki, bigana na we, bagerageza kumva uburyo butandukanye bwo kubyumva kimwe muri byo ari ingirakamaro, kandi buyobora kugeza hagaragaye ibibazo bitari ngombwa; Igerageza uko bahagaze ("barambona muri sosiyete hamwe numunyeshuri mwiza cyangwa umusore wihebye"); Wige kuba inyangamugayo kandi zukuri; Kugerageza gushushanya igishushanyo cyumwaka cyangwa umugore uzaza. Ahari ubu akwiriye kuvugana ningimbi yukuntu amahame yimyitwarire yabahungu nabakobwa yarahindutse uyumunsi. Niba kare, abakobwa bagenwa n'uruhare rw'ibiremwa byoroshye, byoroshye, ubungubu, ubu bahamagariwe ibikorwa, ubwigenge ndetse n'abarwanyi batewe inkunga cyane muri gahunda ya kabiri. Muri iki gihe habaye ikibazo muri iki gihe, iyo intangiriro yo guhuza byimazeyo itera abakobwa bashimangira umubiri mu kigereranyo hashize imyaka ibiri munsi y'abasore. By the way, nkuko ubushakashatsi bwingimbi bwerekanye, ingimbi zubwenge-abanyabwenge ntirishaka kwinjira mubucuti bwa hafi - byibuze kuko hariho ingaruka nyinshi.