1. Za banja
Ndinakulira m'banja lachikatolika, pomwe nthawi yofikira kunyumba idayambitsidwa naini usiku. Ngakhale wophunzira sekondale ngati ine. Chifukwa chake ndikadzathawa pansi pa purctritianthu, chinthu choyamba chinayamba kupezeka pamagawo onse motsatana.
Khrisimasi m'mawa tisanatsegule mphatso, tinapita kwa alendo ndipo anawapatsa iwo maumboni. Abambo anga adakhulupirira kuti chinali cholinga chofuna kusamalira anthu ena.
Azachinga anga anayenda bwino nthawi imodzi komanso wotchuka. Ndipo zonsezi zidadutsa. Chifukwa chake ndili ndi phunziro lenileni la kutchuka ngakhale ndili mwana. Simuyenera kudalira chikondi cha anthu, zimafulumira.
Ndikupanga vasectomy. Nditasewera dokotala wa ana a ambulansi, ndinazindikira kuti sindidzakhala ndi ana.
Ndinakumana ndi Mkwatibwi wanga (pakadali pano - mkazi wanga kale. - Apple. Ed.) Ku Italy. Ndipo ine ndikufuna kumuuza: Ammal, ndimakukondani kwambiri. Sindingathe kudikirira ndikakhala mwamuna wanu.
2. Zaka
Ndimakonda Mbewu yanga ndi makwinya. Ndimakonda kuti nkhope yanga ili ndi chidwi komanso chochuluka kuposa nthawi yomwe ndinali ndi zaka makumi awiri kapena sate. Ayi, botox si ine.
Ine ndinangofika zaka ziwiri za Brad, koma ndimawoneka wachikulire kwambiri. M'mbuyomu, zimandikhumudwitsa kwambiri. Ndipo tsopano - ayi. Sindimakwanira m'gululi la amuna, ndipo sindimamenya "Tom Druir ndi Brad.
Mukakhala achichepere, mumakhulupirira kuti: "Inde, muli bwino!" Koma ndizowopsa kudalira malingaliro awo. Onsewa akunena kuti ndinu anzeru, komanso zochepa zomwe mungakhulupirire mawu awa, ndibwino.
Pali zinthu zambiri zomwe Mdyerekezi angandikonge. Unyamata ndi mmodzi wa iwo, koma pokhapokha ngati ndingathe kupulumutsa nzeru yanga yonse komanso zokumana nazo zanga zonse. Ndikufuna kukhalabe achichepere kuti ndipitirize kuchita zomwe ndimachita nthawi yayitali.
Mukakhala kale makumi anayi, pali china chake chomwe mukudziwa momwe mukudziwa momwe mukudziwa momwe mungafupitsire mabowo.
Ndili bwino kukalamba. Kupatula apo, kusankha kwina kumadziwika kwa aliyense - imfa. Mwina, ndimakonda kukayikira.
3. Za moyo ndi kusungulumwa
Simukuphunzira chilichonse ndipo simukudziwa chilichonse ngati mungomvera nokha.
Kulephera kumakhala kopindulitsa kwambiri kuposa zopambana.
Moyo waumwini umakhala kuti usakankhule za zonse mzere. Sindikumvetsa nyenyezi zomwe nthawi zonse zimayika kena kake ku Twitter. Kodi mungalembe ku Twitter m'Paradaiso?
Ndimakonda kukhala pa njinga yamoto yanga ndikungokwera pamsewu, ndikuyimitsa mizinda yaying'ono ndikumamwa zakumwa zozizilitsa kukhosi.
Aliyense amagona ngati atakuthandizani kuti akuthandizeni kuti musasungulumwa. Izi ndizabwinobwino.
Sindikhulupirira zokondweretsa, koma ndimakhulupirira m'njira yosangalatsa. Pomaliza, mwina mumwalira achinyamata, kapena mudzakhala ndi moyo wautali kuti muone momwe anzanu amafera. Izi zikutanthauza kukhala ndi moyo.
4. Za mphamvu
Patriot kwa ine ndi amene amakayikiridwa nthawi zonse m'boma lake.
Kuthamangira ku Congress? Sindikudziwa! Ndinagona ndi azimayi ambiri, amagwiritsa ntchito mankhwala ochulukirapo m'nthawi yanga ndipo anali membala wa zipani zambiri.
Tinayambanso kudalira mphamvu yachinayi. Ndikofunikira kukhala wamkulu ndikukhala ndiubwenzi wanu. Nthawi zonse kukayikira nthawi zonse!
5. Za akazi
Ndili ndi choopsa kwambiri. Mkazi aliyense amatha kuwononga chidaliro changa. Chifukwa chake, kuyambira ubwana, ndinasunga lamulo: osayamba kuyitanitsa masiku, osayitananso kuvina, osalankhula.
Ngati anthu angandione pa chakudya chamadzulo ndi mkazi wokongola, akufuula kuti ndili ndi chibwenzi ndi iye. Inde, ndi zamkhutu. Sindine Playboy!
Nkhani ya kusakhulupirika idzatha kuuza yekha amene sanali wolakwika.
Simudzaona kuti ndi mkazi wazaka makumi asanu ndi limodzi pazenera ndi wokondedwa wa makumi awiri. Izi ndizosalakwika!
Chinthu chachikulu mwa mkazi ndi nthabwala. Mnyamatayo sananene kuti, koma ndikudziwa bwino. Popanda kudziseka ndekha ndipo mukufuna, inde, mayiyo alibe mwayi.
Agnifes