It is difficult to imagine a more powerful tool for knowing a man than the right question. He can light hope and lead to a new understanding of even the closed person. And can destroy the impression and keep you in incorrect assumptions.
Let's not lay off, we will analyze "bones" the easiest way to penetrate the male mind and make this territory of its own - the art of the right question.
Love "What? Where? When?"
Why is it so important high quality questions that you ask a man? Elementary - this will lead to higher quality relationships. This is achieved by two simple ways:
The right questions will help to better know the person with whom you communicate. This, in turn, will tell you how to build relationships with him, and is it as a whole. After all, if it turns out that you and a man are not on one side of the barricades in terms of values or what you want from life and love, it makes no sense to spend more time together.
The way you ask and what can excite and support the interest of a man to you. And this, in turn, will strengthen the connection between you. It is the opinion that men avoid too curious women. But if you learn the art of "the question", he will still ask you to ask him a question. Checked!
Julia Lansk
Put the ears on the top and meet the top winning topics for questions. Questions that will decorate any conversation and will remove the maximum benefit and pleasure from it:
Questions that emphasize positive emotions, feelings and condition. Ask a man that he loves that he likes that he gives him pleasure - it will inevitably cause his thoughts about positive. And it may concern any aspects of life: hobbies, movies, gastronomy, sports, recreation, etc.
Questions that are not too frankly penetrate into the depths of the soul. Each person has three levels: superficial, medium and intimate. Try at first to communicate with your questions not to pierce the wall in the deepest level. Why? It can cause a man not very pleasant memories - if a person wants, he will tell everything himself. Floating in shallow water. After all, when you treacherly try to look into the windows of his soul, do not be surprised if he closes the blinds. Forever and ever.
Questions promoting your relationship . Unobtrusively recognize how a man sees himself in the future, wherever he wanted to come in his career, personal life, what his plans he had. As a rule, these are open questions that encourage a man to reveal, reasoning and in addition we climb you in his eyes as a serious woman who looks at the perspective.
Questions that bring you closer. With their help, you can find your points of contact with a man, the generality of opinions and views, hobbies and worldviews, desires and motives. Meet his answers with interest, even if they do not particularly meet your expectations: one way or another, knowing the preferences of a man, you can already understand what to talk to him, but what to refrain.
Questions regulators. They will be useful if the interlocutor himself is very annoying, falls asleep you with questions, sometimes quite intimate, and you understand that it is better to go to a more neutral level. It does not have to be very sophisticated here: just "sing" about what you can see, and quietly push the man from the depths.
Good examples of bad questions
Remember that men pushes female excessive curiosity? So, this opinion, most likely, arose after the man was "shot" with questions from the list below. So, from what questions it is better to refrain:
Hypothetically marasmatic questions. Usually they start like this: "What would you do if you gave 5 million dollars? Who would you take on an uninhabited island? What would you do if it were now on Mars? " - etc. In the end, he is on a date or at a reception at a psychologist? It remains only to put the couch and put the patient on the pillow. If you want to ask an alternative question to a man, then it is better to do it on deeper levels of communication, so as not to cause him an ambiguous reaction and impressions about you.
Ridiculous questions about the past. "How did mom call you in childhood?", "How many women did you have?", "Why, in your opinion, your former relationship collapsed?". Of course, it is so interesting to know how and what a man lived. But it is akin to digging in the shower, which we discussed above. Take your inner curious barbarum: If the thread in the past men leads to a dark cave, do not risk and push out what you see in it here and now.
Questions about the current state of relationships and about themselves. "Do you like me?", "What between us?", "We marry?", "Do you want children?" - Classic trigger for the shoot of a man in the opposite side of you. Low start. Carelessly.
Questions, as at the interview or in question. You can find such questions in the list or questionnaire when taking a job or in the office in the investigator. At best, they will put a man into a stupor, in the best case, they will push out from you at worst.
Many Answers Men may not like, but it's natural
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Secret sauce must remain secret
Of course, any conversation is a dialogue, dance where both participate, moving to unison. Therefore, my dear wonderful, no matter how appropriate and witty your questions are your question, you should not sculpt them from the horns of abundance, ask them uncertainly or, on the contrary, too strictly as on the exam.
Immediately I want to say that many answers of a man may not like. But this is natural, we are all different, and our life is not a factory for the execution of desires. But it is better to learn the truth before than your relationship will come deeper.
Let your questions be fine and skillfully woven into the conversation, becoming its secret sauce, and not a check list for your interlocutor, who is a successful man who will feel without difficulty. And it is unlikely to play your hand.
Oh yes! I almost forgot. If a man is truly sincerely interested in you and wishes to promote relationships to a higher level, it will come to a meeting with a lot of its own questions. Listen to them and dangle on the Us: In turn, you can analyze what he wants to know about you, which is important for him.
I would like to complete our conversation by rows from the book by Allan Percy, who quoted the Great Einstein: "If I had 1 hour to solve some kind of problem, and my life would depend on its permission, I would spend the first 55 minutes to formulate question; Because if you ask the right question, the problem can be resolved in less than 5 minutes. Indeed - the exact question mobilizes energy to get a solution. "