Ahead of the school holidays - the time when children often remain without adults. How to protect the child from bad companies, do not let it be stupid? The expert is the leading program "For Minor Affairs", teacher of the Law Faculty of MGIMO Victoria Danilchenko.
Victoria Danilchenko
When children get into a bad company, then parents, as a rule, learn about it late. And often make the same mistakes - they forbid teenage to be friends and communicate with friends chosen by him. Of course, the child begins to protest, because he is already a person. And an eternal problem arises - the lack of understanding between parents and children.
Why do our children pull in bad companies? It is believed that adolescents begin to communicate with those children, the nature and behavior of which are opposed to themselves. So, for example, a timid boy stretches to decisive, bold. Sometimes the reason for such friendship becomes and the desire to be such as everything. "For the company" many children first try cigarettes, alcohol. Teenagers also go for popular personalities, for those who rebellious against their parents, the mains of society and school.
If you feel the negative impact of the new company, if your child has become secret, avoids you, the complaints of others appear increasingly, you need to gain patience and gradually, without aggression, try to start an open, trusting conversation. It is impossible to accuse the child, as he closes even more from you. In this situation, it is necessary to establish mutual understanding. Try to tell the child a story from my own youth about how you got under someone's bad influence as you behaved in that situation and how it affected your life. Even if there are no such stories in your luggage in life - come up with them. It will give the opportunity to understand the child that you are the same as he will create an atmosphere of trust between you.
The main thing is not to engage in how to make empty comments - the teenagers do not like them. I am absolutely sure: if parents live not only with their problems, but also the problems of the child, then the dialogue will succeed.
To distract the child, you can try to find a sharing with him, able to captivate it with interesting adventures, for example, mountaineering, tourism, sports. The main thing is not to be driven by sticks, it will not be a sense of this. Do not drive a child in mugs on the principle: since I could not, you should! It does not work, more precisely, it works, but on a very short period. Of course, a bad baby company is a difficult test for parents. It is necessary to make aware that the child in such a situation is simply necessary to pay as much time as possible so that he can simply have no time to communicate with difficult teenagers.