In almost every family, it comes the moment when small, it would seem kids, even recently so needful attention and care, grow up. They often want to take their own independent decisions, choose their studies in another city or country, create their new young family. There comes a stage separate from the parent house of life. Despite the naturalness of this process, it often passes painfully for everyone. Why does it happen and how to avoid it?
What is "empty nest syndrome" and who suffers
Child care in adulthood brings parents a strong discomfort, devastation, a sense of incredible sadness, sometimes irritation on the inevitability of the situation, sadness, fear of change, personal powerlessness.
All this can easily lead to depression. This psychological problem is called "empty nest syndrome." On average, parents suffer from several months to several years.
Many mistakenly suggest that they are exposed exclusively women. However, in certain circumstances, a man suffers from this syndrome is no less.
Nadezhda Korneeva - Psychologist, Personal Growth Coach, Certified International Coach, Children's Education Expert
How to get rid of the syndrome
Is it possible to soften the experiences of parents? Where do they find the forces to survive "the syndrome of the empty nest"?
The first thing to do to all mothers and dads is to prepare for this inevitable period in advance. You can start with the teenage age of the child while he still lives with you. But it is not about inaction, but about the transfer of knowledge. Learn a child's independent life: how to keep a budget, how to arrange life, how to be responsible for yourself and others. Sometimes this process is needed to parents even more than children. It will reduce the alarm and weaken the desire of the future total control. The second important point is to start thinking about their new life, restore weakened related, friendly connections, look for new acquaintances.
If the "empty nest" syndrome found you surprise, do not despair. The first thing you can do for yourself is to try to take a situation as it is, with all the current feelings (sadness and emptiness, inevitability and fear). This applies not only to women, but also men.
Relationships between spouses can exacerbate or, on the contrary, to reach a new stage of proximity. Therefore, it is important to stop, do not dive further into your experiences, look around and, perhaps, learn to re-communicate with each other, trust, invent new rules of life and family traditions.
It's time to start learning something new, remember your favorite hobby, which is always lacking time. You can come up with new rituals: For example, every Friday to buy live flowers or exotic fruits, everything that is enough fantasy. You can also return to the long forgotten dreams from which you refused, throwing strength and resources to raise children. For example, you can buy a dog that you have always dreamed about, but could not, since the child had an allergy, or go into a cruise, and could go to Bali.
If you understand that weighing in negative emotions, and you do not feel the opportunity to cope with the situation on your own, you should contact a professional psychologist.
Together an epilogue .... The "empty nest" syndrome certainly knocks parents from the habitual rut. But it can be considered as a point of transition from one state of happiness to another, as an opportunity to fill your life with a new amazing impression and paint it with bright colors.