Remember how many times you heard stories about how already adult people simply suffer in relations with their parents, while the parents themselves make everything that the "child" remains with them as long as possible. He suffer as a result of both sides. Why such a skew occurs in the relationships of the closest people and how to let the older generation of their adult child, without destroying the relationship completely.
Why parents hold themselves adult
The desire to realize your ambitions
Very often, people become hostages of such a situation, all their lives seeking to prove their importance to others. Often, significance is proved with the help of children, forcing those to achieve all the best results. It is easy to guess how the psyche hit the pressure of parents who are constantly being in a state of waiting for another victory of their Chad. It is important here to understand the older generation that the child is a separate person who should not prove anything to anyone.
parents are difficult to decide on change
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All life is spinning around the child
Naturally, at a young age, the child is simply not able to cope with himself, for this, he needs parents from the point of view of survival. However, the child is growing, and the parents all can not accept the fact that old schemes do not work and handle the child, a teenager and adult man needs differently. Begins manipulations that do not give an adult person to make a decision on separation, and it can last for years.
The parent does not understand what its purpose is
For many people, the manifestation of love is permanent stay nearby. In fact, love can be treated, so poison, especially at the moment when the parent plan has already been fulfilled. Prepare a child for adulthood, and then let go - the most positive manifestation of love from parents.
What to do if there is no strength to let go of a baby "in free swimming"
We produce respect
As a rule, the parent who holds the child with all their forces nearby, even in adulthood, does not feel that in front of him an independent person. For such a parent, his child, albeit a completely adult, still a baby who will not survive in this world, and therefore the desires can not be taken into account - the mother / dad is more visible. Suppress this installation by all forces. Without mutual respect, it is impossible to build relationships that can be called healthy.
"No" manipulation
Very often, the older generation goes to extreme measures - begins to manipulate, thereby destroying any attempts of the child to physically move away. An adult child will be difficult to adapt in the new conditions if the parent does not allow you to "try" this world. You make your child only worse, forcing him to skip this important stage of growing up.
Record psychological assistance when moving your child
Many parents hide some important moments relating to individual residence, in the hope that the child will scare difficulties and he will immediately return. Psychologists oppose such a position, as the parental responsibility is also a fence from most negative situations that can happen even with an adult person. You do not need to build obstacles on the moment of separation, you will only make worse by your selfish gust. Instead, dedicate a few days that you will spend together with your adult child and discuss all the "pitfalls" of a separate residence.