After painful events, we can live, as if nothing had happened. We are restored after severe parting, separation, after tragic events. With the form - as nothing happened. But our experience does not go anywhere. Proof of this - our dreams.
Here is an example of our regular readers:
"On the square of the city, where I lived from 15 to 20 years, near the House of Culture, where I ran to the disco, lay a boy woven or connected to the bear, from which the danger came for me. I needed to go to the disco. And I could not pass past this guy. I was scared.
The first thought in a dream that this is my dad lying on the road drunk, as was once when I returned home. It was so terribly ashamed and terrible, and it was impossible to go past. "
This dream was played in front of our dreamed of her solar drama of shame and humiliation in the youth, when she saw her own drunk and unbearable father.
For a child and a teenager, see their parent with a patient, drunk, unable to live in a normal life - the hardest blow. The image of the father for us is reliability, security, support in this world. Children of alcoholics grow up with a huge anxiety that the world is dangerous, unreliable, unpredictable. They become concise, tense, try to control their loved ones to not worry about that shame and chaos in which they had to grow up.
By the way, about shame. The children of alcoholics grow up with an irrational feeling of shame and guilt that they are the cause of swallowing and drunkenness of their own parents. This feeling permeates their life and grows in the hidden corner of the soul. Often to cope with these experiences, having matured alcoholics children create bizarre forms with others: keep on an excessive distance, avoid close relationships. Or, on the contrary, fully erases their desires and needs to please close. The most important thing is to avoid a destroying shame and humiliation.
Actually, the dream of our dreams. The image of a bear boy who is dangerous for her is the image of a drunk father, whom she saw in the middle of the square, that is, in relevant. It is dangerous for her, it threatens panic and a terrible shame.
Her experiences of past years have not disappeared anywhere, they continue through dreams to knock on our dreams. Apparently, now she has ripe enough and fastened to meet with these feelings and survive them, not trying to forget, displace or understate damage.
I wonder what you dream? Send your stories by mail: [email protected].
Maria Zemskova, PSYCHOLOGIST, Family therapist and leading trainings of personal growth Training center Marika Khazina