Nowadays, the ideology and subculture of "Childfrey" is becoming increasingly popular (English. Childfree - free from children). Why do these people consciously do not want to become parents?
It would seem, maybe, but do not want - their right, and the subject of the research is not here. But alone we will leave only those who do not have the need for every step to discuss this decision and aggressively agitate for their position.
Oddly enough, Childfries, in most cases, not free from children. Children - stimuli, having permanent residence in their heads. Often they experience the need to discuss the antiquity (= child) the topic again and again, as if defending their right to childlessness. Does anyone deprive them of this right? In fact, it is about your own desire of the Childfrey to make the world around the world around. Since it is almost impossible to implement this, the topic for indignation never exhausted itself.
So why are the children so outrageous? Everything related to childhood often causes conscious or unconscious experiences in Childfries. That is, something important and painful of your own gentle age is not alone, but plugged into a long box. Of course, the idea of working with this emotional ballast comes to all. Instead, the Childfrey tries to exclude irritants from the field of view, which launch painful memories or just unpleasant sensations. It can even be noted that many of them do not roll children from humanity to prevent the experiences for their native man who accompanied their own childhood.
And, by the way, about relatives. A common cause of the reluctance to become a mother or father is the unwillingness to become "as a mother" or "as a father", that is, to identify with their own parents or persons replace them. Revealing this topic, it is especially interesting to note childfries with a narcissistic type of personality. Such individuals are characterized by fantasies on their own perfection, all-in-law and omnipotence, the severity of which depends on the acuteness of psychopathology. The narcissistic development of the child occurs in the atmosphere of permanent assessment, the small person involuntarily turns out to be a tool of self-affirmation of parents. The most sad price of narcissistic orientation is the underdeveloped ability to love. But in idealizations and depreciations there will be no lack. For example, a narcissistic woman virtuoso justices his unwillingness to have children's desire for self-development (as if one excludes another) and the highest destination of his own person. That is, it will extort himself and devaluate the mother, which is not no longer used, except to give birth to her.
It is also unlikely to want to identify with the parent unbalanced, haunting or indifferent. It is not surprising that with such ancestors, the Childfries do not understand what to do with descendants.
And here is another option. Some childfries were elder children in the family, nounted with their sister brothers while their parents mined the livelihood or were busy with something else. These people are very tired of messing around with children, they simply require a well-deserved rest.
Or so. If the father wanted a boy, and did the boy from his daughter ... then the grazing girl can refuse to give birth to not detect her sexuality.
Interesting motifs are characteristic of living in the Oedip complex. Here the development of events may be as follows: At the unconscious level, the girl wanted to give a child to his father (where to go - the main man in life), but this desire came across the ban of incest, as well as for fear of his mother. And then she decided, again, unconsciously, it would be safer than children at all.
It also happens that Childfries in a pair are like each other's children. One falls into childhood, another "includes" a parent. And they can change these roles. Thus, one partner tries to compensate for another thing that was not accidental at an early age. Tell me, why are they children? While their task is to grow yourself.
Separate a few category of readers of Chayldfrey - people rationalizing their own infertility. Less painful turns out to be convinced of himself in ideological reluctance to have children than to recognize that it does not work out somehow. Yes, it is again about narcissism.
And a few words in conclusion. If you consider yourself to the Dweadfrey subculture, do not have any spiritual contradictions and do not annoy that someone has children still wants, regardless of what led you to this way, please be happy!