The complex of the victim is always those people who are confident that everything that happens in their lives does not happen by their fault. Often this statement: "Life makes me like that. She leads me. And if everything is so, then these factors exempt me from personal participation and personal responsibility. " These are people who use people to only thus get attention, sympathy and pity for love that needs so much, but other ways to exchanging love are not available. All failures describe the confirmation of the fact that they are unworthy of emotional intimacy in which they need so much. It is not available to them, because they have experience in failures, and this is the only experience in which they believe.
They feel themselves unpleasured heroes and convince everyone around that they struggle with circumstances, but circumstances are above them. Suffering and carrying themselves on this unfair life, they hope that their suffering will be related later, in some, apparently, another life. And, as a rule, such an unconscious existence, subordinate to only false beliefs and, possibly, instincts, allows you to live and not at all think about yourself or about your life. After all, thinking, they receive not those answers with which it is so convenient and safe to live and which are so unbearable and are already unsuitable, but relatives and attractive. This is an eternal dispute and struggle, however, with a clear result - the desire to be defeated. And all this at the level of consciousness is denied and condemned, but in the unconscious scenario it is. The victim of circumstances is people with internal affected self-esteem, with a deep sense of inferiority and with predisposedness to negative expectations.
What to do to part with your sacrifice and start respecting yourself and your life?
To start - stop talking about your losses and insolvency to everyone who is next to you.
This can be done only with a psychologist or psychotherapist. If you have already decided to part with this role and with all the scenarios prescribed to it. Each time, healing his wounds and healing them finally, you can talk about it later as a experienced experience that can help others.
If you have the feeling that you are a victim of all your life and all the circumstances that around you, most likely, you repel from myself true friendly relationships, postpone love and success in your life. And then follow the route of the already invented scenario.
Analyze its sacrifice.
It will be the first step to get rid of, first of all, from sacrificial thinking.
Sacrificial thinking is thinking that everything that surrounds you is the cause of your troubles. It is possible, and most often it happens, this thinking is the result of deep and long-established beliefs, which now make up your idea of yourself, the picture of the world and your life, and most importantly and dangerous that in such a situation it is the prospect and Your future. After all, external circumstances and what is surrounding you now is directly related to your internal beliefs and states.
Take responsibility for what is happening now in your life.
Not easy task when there is no such habit. But to admit that you yourself are to blame for what is happening around you, - this is the way to liberation. Since at this very moment you have the authority to change everything in your life and live as you dreamed.
Sometimes it is important to say "Stop".
To say "stop" everything that happens, and start making decisions regarding your life. Because when taking the same safe, as you think, solutions built on the same thoughts and beliefs, you go to the same circle. Getting those results that match your expectations. Highly charged, emotional experiences are sometimes so strong that you can dedicate their discharge all your life. And all your life prove that this is true.
It is necessary to create every day around the field of positive emotions.
A person is affected by everything that is in him, and all that surrounds it.
Therefore, scholarsted with your deep statements and seeing scenario of your own behavior, it's time to look at the one who surrounds you. These are people who, perhaps, poorly treat you, and maybe these people even want evil. Never mind. It is important that this is the five people who you are in emotionally close relationships. Try to figure out that they bring to your life.
You are what you look and listen.
This also applies to all programs on television, music, and films. It is important very selectively and accurately choose this, because all this affects you too.
And, probably, the most important thing is good thoughts in relation to yourself.
Take the rule every day, waking up in the morning, but still not getting out of bed, find those thoughts that will support you all day. During the day, remember what was pleasant in the morning, and in the evening, before bedtime, exist these positive thoughts. It is very difficult. After all, there is already a certain, automatic habit of thinking. And at first dark thoughts or the absence of them will be the first thing you think about. We are so arranged. We are arranged to simplify. Do not despair. Remember: you are entitled and able to change everything in your life. And you are not the first and not the last person to whom it will succeed.