You probably noticed that successful people are usually confident. Without this quality, it is impossible to advance through the career ladder, attract the attention of the men of your dreams and live like this. Moreover, in most cases, we submit to the interlocutor signals about their insecurity, without even guessing about it. We tried to find out what exactly it gives us, and how to deal with uncertainty in ourselves.
You make compliments that can not apply to yourself
"You are so beautiful in this jacket! I would never have found such a thing in the store, because I have no taste, "you tell you a friend, in your opinion, making it a compliment, although in fact you are engaged in self-criticism. A confident person will cause such a kind of compliment only indignation. Another version of the development of events: a person will get off with your uncertainty, thereby reinforcing its pride. So stop "devouring" and criticize yourself, this will be happy to be engaged in this.
Do not take the whole "guilt" for communicating
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You answer without waiting for the end of the question
Your interlocutor did not even finish the thought, and you are ready to answer, without even thinking about him. As a rule, this sin people who do not know how to refuse. The person avoids the pause, panically fearing that the interlocutor will think about him something wrong. It is not surprising that such an approach leads to troubles and regrets from an insecure personality. Always give yourself a time to thinking, you are not completely obliged to instantly answer.
Silence during the conversation causes discomfort
It is difficult for a dustless person to withstand pauses: he immediately begins to insert inappropriate comments, pass or produce banal phrases, just to cut the protracted pause.
Psychologists advise in such a situation to take themselves in hand and first calm down. Remember that you are talking with another person who is also a full-fledged member of the conversation, so why do you take all the "guilt"? Learn to share responsibility for communicating with the interlocutor and stop looking for the reason.
With a confident person always want to deal
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You do not smile
The harsh facial expression instantly gives your tension. Of course, you need to understand when the smile is appropriate, however, people with low self-esteem are most of time focused and smashed, especially when they are in an awkward situation. Try to keep a slight smile that signals that you are not so easy to remove from balance.
"Running" look
The insecure in itself, as a rule, cannot force himself to look into the eyes of the interlocutor: His look is either directed away, or "runs" on the subjects around. The lack of visual contact does not have to communicate, not in virtually all business coaches advise first of all to train a confident look that is inspired by confidence in the interlocutor, with such a person as you can deal with.