Education of the child is an art, this is a science, which in full or incompletely masters any parent. Each family has their own laws of education and communication with children, but at the same time do not forget that each kid is individual and requires a certain approach to itself.
For a child, the family is primarily a medium in which the conditions for its physical, mental, emotional and intellectual development are developing. Self-assessment and perception of the world as a whole are formed in childhood, and the endless attempts of parents to adjust children under a certain ideal image leave a sense of guilt for inconsistencies to him and mass of complexes.
Very often we make mistakes, raising the future person. Children always try to take an example from their parents and copy them in everything. Therefore, first of all it is worth starting with yourself. In other words, if something does not suit you in your own Chad, it is likely that it took it to you. Therefore, working on relationships with the child, start paying attention to your own words and actions. However, in everything you need to know the measure. Remember that ideal children, like ideal parents, is a myth, but a happy relationship between you and your children is a fully achieving goal.
So why do the relationship between parents and children deteriorate? Most often the problem ... yes, yes, in parents. They rarely think about the fact that the child also has feelings, an opinion. The baby also strives for self-realization and self-improvement. And he becomes hurt and unpleasant when mom and dad are trying to change him, pointing to the fact that someone does something better than him. Such an attitude prevents the child to develop harmoniously, its self-esteem and self-confidence undertakes. We will try to state several main principles on achieving understanding with your crumbs.
Love your children
Often you can hear from the parents: "If you are an obedient child, then ...". By this, you unconsciously hint at the child that you love him for "only if." But children are vitally need to feel themselves with the most loved ones, expensive and necessary for their parents. As possible, tell them about it. Never make reservations and do not put the conditions at which you will love the child. This feeling should be unconditional. Do not be afraid to spoil it unnecessary love - it is impossible.
Hell listen to your child
All children love to talk a lot, present thoughts in their own manner. Try to listen to your baby and reckon with his opinion. Let him still not quite well and correctly think. Give him to understand that in the family all treat him with respect.
Always keep calm
So that neither happens so that neither happens, try not to raise the voices for children. Try to calmly talk to the child, even if his wines are too large, and you are on the verge of hysterical. No need to speak categorically. No need to answer questions to strict "no and everything". Try to explain the cause of your ban. Find a compromise.
Be honest and open
Do not lie to children, otherwise they will repay you the same coin. Do not hide from them obvious and not obvious things, try to point to specific errors and ways to correct them. Do not forget to praise the child for their successful steps and overcoming any complex situations.
Support a child
Treat seriously and with understand the problems of the child and everything is worried about. Remember yourself at his age: you were also worried about the first three algebra, and now she does not care anymore. It also feels the situation and a child: he has not yet passed the path that you stayed behind, so everything is worried about everything for the first time. Give him the right to it. Each problems are given by his age and forces, so the baby is not easier to experience the bad assessment than you - a downgrade. Support it.
Of course, there are cases when parents are not able to cope with the child when it does not work independently. In this case, it is best to contact a specialist. And you should not be afraid of oblique views of the neighbors: in the modern world, parents are very often resorted to the help of a children's psychologist, whose visits bring a tangible result. You should not also forget that sometimes for conflict and disobedience, the baby is hiding much more serious problems, which only a professional can see. Therefore, drive away the prejudice - the world in your family is much more important.
Eva Avdalimova, first-year student Mum