Treason is the most popular and frequent cause of parting and divorce. Of course, so painful thing that people are sometimes easier to disperse than to live in anticipation or threat that it will repeat again.
Alan and Barbara Piz, American therapists, argue that men poorly hide the presence of parallel relationships, but women, on the contrary, masterfully keep this secret. And if women do not want to do it obvious, then their partner will only have to guess what is happening. At the same time, men change twice as women. Moreover, motives, pushing those and others on parallel relations and relationships, completely different. The same researchers said that the man's body was more produced by a hormone responsible for passion. Thanks to this hormone, they become brutal and seductive, seeking location in a woman. With the advent of a permanent partner, the development of this hormone is slightly declining, balances, but does not go anywhere. The man needs to win again, seek, testing passion and lust. For this, his partner must periodically "seduce it again." But most often, the seduction does not occur due to some living conditions: a closure at work, children, life, loss of form. The woman also prevails a hormone responsible for tenderness, affection, creating a nest. Her thoughts and goals are aimed at strengthening families and relationships, often she does not think about what it becomes less sexy for a partner. Therefore, men conquer women on the side. At least this explains the treason a biological approach.
Women's treason is, on the contrary, exclusively psychological reasons. Women go to the "left" for several reasons: feeling the sickness of her husband, want to prove to themselves that they are still in demand for men. Or revenge for treason of partner.
Family psychology indicates that treason is a cry for help in marital relations. Partners are experiencing a huge deficit in relationships (possibly love, reliability, recognition, updates, development) and make it a "safe" way to someone else. Often, treason serves as a stabilizer of loose and crisis relations from spouses. All unrealized tenderness and passion gets the third, the distance between spouses increases and becomes more secure. Many marriages are regulated by means of betrayal, allowing partners to give up and maintain correct, respectful and stable relationships. The only problem is that the presence of such a stone for the sinus, as parallel connections, do not allow partners to close and completely trust each other. For their secrets, they pay closeness and intimacy, which could be created with a partner.
The topic is not easy to change the therapy. To both partners will have to admit that treason is a way to cope with the crisis in from the relationship. Although the affected side is inclined to accuse the partner in pain and the inflicted wound, the present healing and forgiveness comes when both partners recognize that they created such a situation in which one changed, and the second agreed with this.
The one who changed, it is necessary to truly adulgeal to meet the whole pain that he has caused his partner. Do not try to soften it, give obviously false promises, please be imprisoned. Just recognize the fact that he inflicts the wound, which will always be among them to one degree or another.
Moreover, both partners must adopt the fact that this event will never make their relations for the same. And when both will be prepared to adult to agree on these changes, then the reunification is possible.
By the way ...
Stars are also often faced with married infidelity, because of which a stable marriage collapses. For example, the cause of Demi Moore's divorce and Ashton Katcher became the treason: the actors caught up with young Sarah Lil in one of the famous hotels on the day of the sixth anniversary of his marriage with Demi. For some time, the couple tried to preserve the family, but in the end, Moore could not forgive her her betrayal.
And here are other star spouses - David and Victoria Beckham - standing at each other. The media often appear rumors about numerous treasures of the football player, but his wife only once thought about divorce. However, as a result, the couple decided to reconcile: for Victoria, the best tool from marriage is the birth of another child.
Maria Zemskova, PSYCHOLOGIST, Family therapist and leading trainings of personal growth Training center Marika Khazina