"Let go and forget ... what passed, no longer return," the heroine of his loved hearts of the cartoon "Cold Heart" sang. It is not for nothing that they say that the mouth of the child is the truth, the truth is: it is impossible to hold offense for a long time, even if you were causing two closest people - parents. It suggests to change the look at things and get rid of anxiety.
"Father did not participate in my life"
In Russia, from 17 million families, approximately 5 million comes on single mothers - you are not alone who remained without dad. For any child, be God or seventeen years old, the lack of a strong father's shoulder near will be a serious psychological trauma. We understand how it was difficult for you and how difficult it was to your mom who brought you up with one. But only to be offended by a person who voluntarily refused to joy to see her child and participate in his upbringing, it makes sense. You spend your energy on anger in relation to a person who is alien to the ability to love and take responsibility for their decisions. Instead of anger, think about how not to go along the same slippery path and become the best parent for your Chad.
Thank Mom for your upbringing
Photo: unsplash.com.
"And I always wanted my son"
Patriarchal estate of our society obliges a man to make three things in life, which you all heard thousands of times. But if a man is born a daughter - this is not a reason to abandon her upbringing. For an adequate adult, Paul a child should not have crucial importance - all children need to love the same. If your dad once said that he dreamed of her son, addition to you with this absurd phrase, it was worth removing him about the basics of biology. It is a spermatozoa, or rather the chromosome laid in it, determines the floor of the future child. So all the claims "manufacturer" should have been addressed to himself, not a mother and a child.
"To slap in educational purposes is not harmful."
As soon as domestic violence, those who can afford to hit the defenseless child, unconditionally trusting their parents. The purpose of the means in this case does not justify - no upbringing, except hate and distrust by the baby, this is not achieved. If you beat you in childhood, we hope that you do not communicate with your offensors - in this case you can only forgive the moral ugliness of a person and forget his name forever. It is sincerely sorry that you had to survive such experience and disappointed in the closest people. And if you do not see anything reprehensible in domestic violence, contact a psychotherapist for help.
Homemade violence is unacceptable
Photo: unsplash.com.
"Quickly wash the cosmetics and go to sleep"
Hard control from parents in relation to adolescence is also a frequent practice in our country. But even the fear of parents for the health and life of a child cannot become an excuse of an absurre attitude towards him. Only through trust, the relationship between family members, where the child will not be afraid to say about their plans for the evening and time when he returns home. If your parents allowed themselves to lead you and violate your personal borders, do not repeat their mistakes - become your child with a close friend, whose advice he will listen from respect, but not from fear of punishment.
Share with us, why are you still offended by your parents? We are confident that you can find support in the comments from other readers who collided with a similar situation.