How many funny stories exist about daughter-in-law and mother-in-law, but in real life it happens not so fun, as in jokes. The daughter-in-laws often complain about the authoritarianism "The Second Mom", and the mother-in-law, in turn, are dissatisfied with the choice of the Son. Nevertheless, it is not worth running away from the problem, but you need to try to build the right relationship with my mother's mother. How to do this, Kristina Gribova's psychologist knows.
It is no secret that sometimes it is not always possible to live separately from the mother-in-law, and then you need to find the variants of peaceful coexistence. It is advisable to initially tune in to positive and friendly relations, and not to wind yourself in advance against the "excess well-cohabitant."
Psychologist Christina Gribova
Press service materials
It is necessary to immediately establish the right distance.
Any communication brings a good mood, or spoils it. If you communicate with a person it is hard for you, during or after a conversation remains an unpleasant precipitate - then it will be difficult to make friends. In most cases, how your relationship will be built, depends on you. IMPORTANT, with which you will configure your mother-in-law. If you needed it in advance and have a lot of complaints about it inside, it can become a problem. Your tone, trial manner and body language will give a true attitude. It is worth remembering that "affectionate word and a cat is nice," so try not to immediately join the war path, but first make friends. If this is still failed to do, go to the safe distance and try to hold it.
Definition of borders
Sometimes mother-in-law, guided by only the best motives, begins to teach you in the kitchen, in a relationship to the son or in life. Try to perceive it not as a teaching, but as new knowledge. Maybe something you really learn from it? Or ask yourself the question: if your mother would tell you the same, would you respond as well? You inside should be complete calm and confidence that you yourself know how to do, and it is this confidence that will help not knock you out of the gauge. Do not hesitate to talk about what you do not like what you would not want to defend your interests, but diplomatic and intelligent. Thus, you will take a mature position and you will not save discontent and anger within yourself. She, like any representative of an adult generation, I want respect, and in your power to show it. For example, with understanding to listen to her opinion or make some little thing as she wants. You are easy, and she is nice.
It is very important what position is the husband in relations between you . He is like a person close to both women, should help avoid conflicts, search for compromises and try to smooth sharp corners. In a good way, from how a man will put you in the eyes of the mother and on the contrary, the vector of your relationship will depend. If he relates to the mother with neglect, most likely, you also take this behavior model through time. And vice versa. For example, he will give you a reprimand against a non-paying field and a disadvantaged dinner. Then mom will consider it necessary to systematically remind you too. Sometimes you can talk to your husband about what bothers you and cause irritation, and thus to influence mycombly through the spouse.
Even if the husband tells you that it is not with mom in a friendly relationship that you can not listen to it and that for him her opinion is not so important, it's not worth it to believe one hundred percent. This is a mother who was it throughout the time while raised him. Take a neutral position, never be friends against the mother-in-law, it can over time can get it sideways.
Never complain my husband to mother-in-law - and vice versa
pixabay.com.
What to do exactly not worth:
- Treat the mother-in-law as an excess element of your family.
- Do not respect and not take into account her opinion.
- Demonstantly show what she says about, you absolutely don't care, you will still do in your own way.
- Hold your opinion with yourself, arguing that by what you can talk extra or thus sorry to "mother".
- To endure criticism. You need to immediately say about what you do not like - this will help avoid future conflicts.
- Never complain my husband on his mother (and on the contrary), but better talk, how to be in a controversial situation
"Keys" to the mother-in-law:
- Sometimes ask her advice, how would she do it.
- Find out what your favorite dishes and how she prepares them.
- Suggest help on housekeeping.
- Mark your personal space and let us understand what you want to retire and work out your business.
- Give it a subscription to the fitness club or the theater.