Have you ever had this situation? Imagine: Winter Snow Evening, you are in a beautiful company of close friends sit in a small warm cafe on several tables, on wooden windows hang Christmas garlands, not far from your table crave firewood in the fireplace, in the corner, flickers. The hot me dish is eaten, the waiter brings tea / mulled wine / glass of wine, everyone leans on the backs of chairs (chairs) and sincere conversations begin. And here in this wonderful atmosphere, you begin to tell a touching story of dating with a stunning prince, which is about to change all your life. The story transfers everyone to the warm coland of the Indian Ocean, everything, hopping his breath, catch every word, you are already approaching the culmination moment, and just in this very moment your "best" girlfriend is engaging: "Oh, Masha, yes you have a blouse like Nanny my daughter. " All once turn to her. In the first second, you can not understand anything, and then the thoughts sweep: "Flashing! She was completely crazy? Why did she do it? I hate! ", The mood has been touched, the magic and euphoria disappeared.
How many people in life were such strange, worthless issues that put us in a dead end were taken out of spiritual equilibrium? And how to answer such questions? How to answer so as not to feel humiliated and offended?
For several years, with colleagues with colleagues made "Ches" in the cities and the weasons of our immense homeland, conducting negotiations, meetings with business representatives, seminars, conferences. And somehow, sitting in a restaurant in Magadan, killing time before departure, we began to remember the best and worst negotiations, who remembered people, the questions that we liked, to which it was interesting to answer and on the contrary, as well as how we "twisted" , responding to these questions.
So, after a while, using the existing analytical abilities, the benefit of everyone was negotiators, we concluded that, in fact, all questions can be divided into several categories:
- The first, I must say, the most pleasant, but small category - the questions specified in order to learn or clarify something. How beautiful these questions are! You understand that you have listened and realize that you tell something interesting. At the same time, if you know the answer, you will answer with great pleasure. And if you do not know? What to do in this case? Not to say the words "I do not know", "not read", "not my topic," not justifying the gap in knowledge, but to promote a little later: "I will see something and then answer," "very good question I will consult and answer. " There is another option - confidently, believing in what you say, say "backward", "fairy tale."
- The second unique category of questions - questions that are asked to exclusively attract attention. Just the girlfriend, about which I told above, asked my question for this. What to do with such people? I, for example, coquetty twisted and answered: "True, I have a wonderful blouse?!" And immediately continued his story. You can, of course, hug a girlfriend and say: "How I love you!" Or, for example, to say: "O, what is your nanny!", But in this case, attention can finally go to a friend or "leave" to another topic. This kind of questions are asked to "work out" their presence. For example, your partner to justify its presence before sitting next to the head, asks the answer to which it was possible to learn from your last phrase. How can you refuse answer? Of course, you need to enter the situation of such a "wonderful" person, praise for the question and to kindly repeat said.
The third category of questions is the most terrible when a person is absolutely not interesting what you are talking about, and he just wants to humiliate you, show its significance, superiority. Classic example of such questions: The child of the famous actor, the director comes to the TV program, and he says herself: "But your dad has already received" Oscar ", and you even finished school on Two - this is what proof that nature is on Children resting? ". Or another example. A business meeting should begin. The partner comes and instead of greeting says: "Well, a nightmare of your office, and who advised you to punish such wallpaper? How do you work here? " What to do with these people? Nakhamit in response? Expand and leave? Do not answer? But if you do not answer, then the mood will be spoiled, and then in my head there will be a long time to occur different scenarios, as you would answer, but what could be done. I think there are several answer options. The first and, for example, for me, the easiest to say: "Yes, I fully agree with you, the complete disgrace", "you understand how hard it is for me, what to do?", "I don't even know what to answer you." You can contact the nearby and with irony to say: "I feel, they are offended, do at least something." There is another option - to translate everything into a joke, but here you already need to have a very stable nervous system.
As practice shows, the basic rule is the ability to listen and hear your partner, and, of course, goodwill.
Elena Kushnirenko, graduate of the faculty "Mastery of the Art of Speech" of theatrical Institute. B. Schukina, creative workshop "Intelligent"