Only some people are desire to come true, and others with enviable constancy remain at the level of desires. What does it depend on? Well, not from bizarre rituals like writing their dreams on a piece of paper, burning it under the battle of the chimes and swallowing the ashes in a glass of champagne.
After all, often on such pieces they write the most cherished aspirations, such as the creation of the family, the birth of children, prosperity in the career. It is unlikely that the wet handful of ash helps. But people are desperate, from year to year try this "miraculous" way. And not only it.
In this ritual riddling of desires, a special meaning lies. It is based on one of the most important psychological protection called "Magic Thinking". Such thinking is our ability to imagine an alternative reality and dream of a rescuer. We learn how to escape from reality, when in the world surrounding the world is unsafe, scary, lonely and no one to seek support.
A good visual example of such thinking is an Assol from "Scarlet Sails". In her daily life there were few reasons for joy, a lot of isolation and loneliness, to cope with which she allowed a fantasy about the only person who sail over her under the Alay sails. And with it the demand is small: to continue to live as well as lived, and wait. The same mechanism is also working in our desires: sooner or later the favorable universe / fate / The law of higher justice will spread to his kind influence and give it. From the person itself, nothing is required, in addition, to properly ask and submore. In other words, not to do anything that would bring the implementation of this desire.
Assol is a visual example of a dreamer who just waited for the fulfillment of her desires. Frame from the film "Scarlet Sails".
You can ask about the health of your and loved ones, while have a drink for a festive table above the measure, it is harmful, but firmly believe that the desire will be fulfilled.
You can make a desire to "quit smoking", but all night to push the bundle to the end. Or to dream of a beautiful prince, abandoning the celebration with friends in a large company in favor of the parents. Otherwise, offend! And sit at the table in the family with tangerines and Olivier, pretending that the "blue light" is interesting. In other words, the make of desire without any to this steps is a way to protect yourself from your own reality. Every our desire, which is not executed, means that we do not use the ways to achieve it. And in order to bring the target, from these methods it is necessary to refuse or revise them. And this is no longer desire, these are certain actions.
And while the majority of others surrounding are just passively waiting for the fulfillment of desires, some still take steps to implement them.
Moreover, wait and do is the properties of different psychological ages. You can be an adult uncle / aunt, but believe in a miracle. How many kids believe in the power and strength of their parents, as well as those that somehow understand exactly and make everything they need to be kids. This children's part lives in each of us. If we grow sensitive and attentive parents, then our need for care is saturated. We generally trust the world and others. The trouble is that being formally an adult person, you can get stuck in childhood, waiting for some external forces to fulfill your desire, it is only worth wanting. Although for adult only this is not enough. There are also intentions, goals, actions, obligations, the need to abandon destructive and destructive habits to meet their tasks, try, mistake, experiment. If you live with an ordinary life, without changing it in it, but hope for the best, then nothing will change dramatically and next year, to whatever "magic" you have resorted.
So wish and act!
Maria Dyachkova, PSYCHOLOGIST, Family therapist and leading trainings of personal growth Training center Marika Khazin