Personal boundaries can be different. Very open - when a person letters "to visit himself in the soul" of everyone, can not say "no", it is afraid to seem impolite, offend. This is formed since childhood, thanks to parents who behave very sacrificial, forget about their desires and needs, think more about others; In psychology there is even a special term - "focus on others."
Very rigid - when a person is afraid to let someone. As a rule, this is a consequence of child injury, because of which a person decided to "trust dangerous", "better one, it is not so painful."
Very wide - when a person is all around considers property and is trying to take the space with his person. In psychology, this is called "a lack of self-monitoring and a scheme of grandinality," often found in those people who did not teach the concept of ownership in childhood - "this is yours, and this is mine" - and healthy restrictions in anything.
Maria Scriabin
It is necessary to protect your personal boundaries, and this skill is laid in childhood parents. Of course, during the life of the border may change. In adolescence, we often grant our space more hard. Being in a relationship, especially at their very beginning, sometimes completely dissolved in a partner, which may adversely affect future life when the candidate-bought period passes, and some rules of communication and interaction have already gone along a false path. And nevertheless, it's never too late to remember the personal boundaries.
The ability to defend them friendly is the main sign of maturity and wisdom. You need to do this with the help of friendly phrases. Sometimes and strict, but, most important, non-domesticated.
If we have the feeling that anyone abuses our borders, you don't need to think about why a person does it. Perhaps the reason is simply in the lack of education: a person proves you, but does not try to "subordinate" you.
In this case, tell me: "He has the right to check my borders, and I have the right to refuse him, considering my desires and needs."
In the case of too closed borders, and also think too blurred, what is the benefit of such boundaries personally to you? When did you "closed the gate" for the first time "for society? And most importantly: think about, in what cases this behavior helps, and in which prevents you. This is the key to see the pros and cons of their different behavior. And it's never later to re-train yourself what was missed in childhood.