Another Lion Tolstoy noticed that "all happy families are similar to each other, every unhappy family is unhappy in their own way." And sometimes it turns out that in prosperous families, families have their own "skeletons in the closet", which sooner or later become public. What are the worst secrets try to hide from the public? And what to do when the secret becomes clear?
Incest or pedophilia. Reliable to learn about what such a place is in the framework of your family, it is very unpleasant. Often about what is actually happening under the same roof with them, women will recognize a long time. And ask the question, as it was possible not to notice what happened to his own child. But it is not always sincerely: someone really does not know about the real state of things in his own home, and someone, like an ostrich, skillfully hides his head in the sand. What are these women guided, allowing a pedophile living with her under one roof, to indulge in her children is unknown. One thing is clear: the child as a result of all this receives a huge mental injury, from which he may never get rid of without the help of a psychologist. And it is unlikely that someone, besides a psychologist, will tell about what he underwent violence.
Handscript. In our country, littering from the hut is not accepted. Therefore, if a woman is subjected to regular violence from her husband or cohabitant, which is expressed not only verbally, but also in beating, she usually silences about it. Often, even these women do not tell their own mothers and close girlfriends about the humiliations with whom they laugh daily. They are lost and defenseless in front of aggression. And they are, as a rule, in co-dependent relationships, and even the appeal to law enforcement agencies does not give them: because this category of women, submitting an application for their faithful, after his day he already takes. Help them get out of this situation can only joint work of a lawyer and a psychologist.
Olga Romaniv
Accounting in a psychiatrist. About relatives who passed a serious treatment of a psychiatrist and have a loud diagnosis, may not even speak within the family. People learn about such things by chance, although there is nothing shameful in this. The brain is the same organ of the human body, as well as any other, so it can fail. A person may need a qualified assistance of a psychiatrist, because no tips for girlfriends and articles from the Internet will be returned to the place.
Conviction. To learn that someone from your relatives was brought to criminal liability, it is also by chance. Once - and suddenly it turns out that both your grandmothers were tried. About one you knew. She went to jail during the war: she was a teenager and worked on the defense plant. The discipline was strict, military time, and she was lying all the time, because she was still a child! Once it was afraid of late and sent according to the laws of wartime to serve a term. She was sitting in the chamber with the prison, they made her acknowledged her, which, by the way, to say, saved her one day. Somehow, in the late 60s, she later returned home from work, and a recidivist attacked her in the entrance. I threatened a knife, I wanted to rob and, perhaps, kill. I saw her acklain and did not do anything, deciding that she was "his own." The second grandmother distinguished himself in the post-war time, was involved in some speculation and received for this period. Now we would call these frauds with small business - you will think about the sale of linen. But only 2-3 years after the war passed, there was practically nothing in the country, and here "business." Another time. Its term was a secret, covered with darkness even for his own daughter, for which she then received a delay by sentence. Only her sisters were known about this story, which kept until the latter and did not speak anyone many years, even after the death of her grandmother. Probably, this is not such a terrible family mystery, but they kept her carefully in their minds and hearts.
Adoption. Now many parents who are pending the adoption of the child do not hide the fact that he is not native. They have full right. However, our legislation still protects the secret of adoption, therefore no one else, except parents, cannot inform the child such things. In this, of course, there is a certain meaning: not all children can equally calmly perceive the information that their mother was deprived of parental rights or simply voluntarily refused his child in the hospital. Even becoming an adult, a person sometimes cannot calm down: looking for his parents and, there are cases, finds. Only not always a woman who abandoned his child at birth wants to communicate with him in adulthood. And this is another disappointment that you have to experience such people. Perhaps it would be better not to know about adoption.