Recently, I increasingly get letters of readers with a request to clarify the interpretation of dreams about former lovers or husbands. Relations ended, sometimes years ago, and the consequences remained.
Our dreams are trying to cope with these consequences, although more often in the headlines of writing women ask me that if the former lover is dreaming, then maybe it means that I still love it?
Not necessarily. Our dream is the road to the experience that we united, connected. When the relationships end, a crushing fact is collapsed on us that now we have to bear this experience alone. With the help of dreams, we help ourselves "dop" it, distribute strength and resources in a new way.
For example, here is a letter from a woman who writes about the novel, which has already ended, but the consequences with which she still copes, remained.
"I have not decided to say for a long time that everything ended between us that relations do not develop. It was convenient and habitually, even I thought that reliably. But one day I had a delay. How these few days turned my life! I clearly realized that I do not want children with this person, because the children will contact us forever. Anxiety turned out to be false, I was not pregnant, but I was hurt by the fact that these few days I desperately did not want a child. I! I adore children and always wanted my own. And suddenly I realized that I did not want to associate myself with this man. We broke up, sharply, rudely, I did not regret. And after many years later, I dream dreams that I am interrogated, from whom I still gave birth to a child. And I say that from my husband, I speak with ease. In a dream, the image of my former lover pops up. And for some reason I am very warm to him, although in my life I didn't even think about it for several years, before this sleep, and if I sometimes remembered, then only as a serious, dark in my life. "
Probably, the dream suggests our dreaming that she is still trying to cope with the difficult event for her. Due to the case with the delay, she discovered the entire abyss between them, the lack of built prospects that had rotted relationships with their then beloved. And at that moment her illusions about himself collapsed, about him, about possible children, about the future. And as if she was trying to say to his sleep, that everything did it right, that now everything should be: family, children. And now, when everything is right, she can look with warmth to his past. Now she is not frightened by the future, but stable. And when it became more resistant, she can even thank you to remember those cases of sobering, insight, even a painful, with the help of which she chose to create a relationship of love in which children will be natural and desirable continuation. Yes, such experiments are in everyone's life. And the most painful moments can sometimes be the most swivel for fate if they do so.
Or here is an example. This woman did not have long passed through a painful divorce. As almost any divorce, it was accompanied by a huge number of diverse secrets, painful truth, finally said to each other, many decisions taken, the division of property and building a separate life from each other.
And her dream is: "I choose myself a reliable house. I look at the apartment in an elite, prestigious house. I will celebrate unreliable and dubious options. I look only what is reliably and for a long time. I find out, I advise, inject reference. Apartments, where the neighbors change every 4 years, do not suit me. I watch housing carefully and for a long time. "
This dream without complex metaphors reflects that the dream is looking for a way to create a solid foundation. Perhaps even digit 4 plays a value. Maybe so much was married, and maybe this figure is not the formal duration of its union, but by the time when its union was really support for it.
In a dream, she is looking for and creates a reliable base for himself, not in another person, but builds a support in himself.
I wonder what you dream? Examples of your dreams send by mail: [email protected]. By the way, dreams are much easier to express if in a letter to the editor you will write preceding life circumstances, but most importantly - feelings and thoughts at the time of awakening from this dream.
Maria Dyachkova, PSYCHOLOGIST, Family therapist and leading trainings of personal growth Training center Marika Khazin