Children Shalyat, do not teach lessons, and sometimes they make something worse. In general, sooner or later parents, and other adults face the need to specify the child on his mistakes.
Word is a powerful weapon. When a person is accused, he tries to avoid communicating. When a person approve and support, he wants to hear it even. You can combine the child to correct the situation, and you can beat off any desire to do anything at all.
Womanhit.ru found out how to criticize Chado to not offend him and not lose contact with him.
- Criticize behavior, not a child
That is, we say that the child did not admit it in this situation, and he himself was not good anywhere.
Example: "You did not prepare for a lesson, so he received a twice, you did irresponsible. Come to the teacher and find out how to fix the rating "or" What is happening in an empty head? "
True, there is some difference? In the first case, we explain that the child came incorrectly, and motivate it to correct the situation. In the second - we swear specifically a child. And if he is with a blank head, then what's the point of trying to try and learn? So it is possible to disgust to study.
Criticate actions, not a person
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You can never criticize the identity of the child. He a priori is good, but his actions can be different - both good and bad.
- Insults are unacceptable
The child is the same person as you, only small. Therefore, in contrast to you, he cannot answer an insult. As a result, he holds and sacks anger and offense on you in yourself, he has a sense of guilt and anxiety. As a result, the child feels unhappy, unloved.
No one can insult
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If all the time an inaccurate boy say that he "pig", then he shrouds it hardly, but it will believe in it and follow himself will cease at all. And what is the point? Try, do not try, but still you are considered a piglet.
- All conversations - with an eye on the eye
Do not humiliate your child in front of girlfriends and teachers. The humiliation does not give a person the opportunity to correct something or do better.
It is only in social networks from Masher's daughter - an excellent study, and Sasha Son is a medalist. You do not know what is happening at home. So you should not bear sorrows from the hut. Errors are all, especially when a person is just beginning to know this world.
Humiliation can cause hatred
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This is your child, and he is the best. Hug him so that he felt your support, and calmly discuss how and why there was a while or another, how to fix it or survive. Thus, he will understand that it is not scary to make mistakes, but it is necessary to treat them with dignity.
- Do not criticize "by the way", summarizing
Keep your emotions with yourself, although it is clear that sometimes irritation is difficult to hide when a child is 10 times returning from school without "shift". Nevertheless, the phrase: "Forever you", "as always", "you again" and the way you throw away from your lexicon. Generalizations, how would you lay a negative program for the future.
So maybe just explain to the child, what did he do bad? "It's a shame, they cost expensive. Try to be more attentive to your things next time. "
As a child, a program is laid for the future.
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In fact, there is no tragedy in lost shift shoes. Most likely, she is so lying around somewhere in the school locker room. At the end of the school year, there are forgotten things from educational institutions. This means that they are not so important to parents, since they did not come to seek them, but at the same time they found the time to scold their child.
- We are looking for out
Most of the misconduct the child are not tragic, the end of the world will not come after them, and no one will die. But at the same time, some parents are committed to the "raise" children for the slightest provinces that they decide that they are bad, the burdens for loved ones who do not like them. As a result, notes with headlines appear in the summary of the incident: "Teenager committed suicide because of a quarrel with relatives and teachers."
Child need support for loved ones
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Your task is to explain to the child that there are no hopeless situations. With those or other losses, but you can resolve any problem. Provide the opportunity to young man to correct your mistake. This is a sufficient punishment and lesson for him, your task is to tell how to do it, keeping the dignity and self-esteem.