Probably, everyone in his life at least once heard from familiar or from the TV screens about "difficult children." Psychologists write about them, films are filmed, where such children seem to be punished for loved ones. Or maybe everything is not at all?
Many parents are sorely complaining: "We cannot do anything, the child is very difficult," there is no need to explain to explain how difficult the life of these people under one roof with a small rebellion.
With these children, it is quite problematic to find contact. They fully deny the authority of the elders and are not subject to the established rules. Many adults, parents and teachers often surrender nerves and there is no desire to deal with, it remains only to go on their child, just he calmed down.
Why do children grow "difficult"?
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You do not need to worry strongly: you can find your approach to any child if you manage to establish mutual understanding with the heir, and you, and it will become noticeably easier, you will see your child with a completely different side.
However, the education of a child with a difficult character will require significant psychological and emotional investments, and sometimes it may be necessary to help a qualified psychologist. The main thing that parents should understand is the person in her child, they formed themselves formed themselves.
Why do children grow "difficult"
The formation of the psyche of the child affects his environment, in particular his family. If parents are not distinguished by respectableness, and everything that sees a child around themselves, these are alcoholic bends, it is unlikely that you can count on the positive development of the person.
The base for an adult is laid in childhood by parents. The child should feel that he loves and defend him in the family if necessary. Adhering to this course - love and understanding, - you will achieve mutual understanding and put the beginning of the harmonious development of the child.
Interestingly, not always the "difficult" child is such, perhaps, is all the case in its hyperactivity and excessive curiosity.
Try allowing a little more
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They are trying to know this world by their own samples, often mistaken and expect punishment for it in case you are too strict parent. Try allowing a little more.
Perhaps it sounded strange, but think: is there any benefit from your prohibitions? Your child probably did everything in his own way, it was worth it only to turn away. Try at least once to resolve what has long been banned, and look at the result.
No need to panic that the child will quickly understand that you can "sit on the neck", rather, it will exclude the situation when the child will do something to pour you out.
The expected reaction will be the desire to have time to do everything that it was impossible before, until the prohibitions came into force again. You have to wait for a while so that the child can understand that this is not a temporary consequence of the parents, and the ability to establish new relationships, more open, after which it will turn himself.
This is a rather difficult step, because it is believed that the permissiveness does not lead to anything good. Of course, it does not lead, but it is impossible to call out permissiveness, rather, easy control over behavior, but the child has the right to choose the child still.
Tips for the establishment of contact with the child
You must constantly communicate, it does not matter under what circumstances: whether you go for a walk or relax together at home. The child needs to feel care and support of parents, only in this case his psyche will be healthy.
You must constantly communicate with the child
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He must show respect for you, and this is possible if you spend more time together, talk to him and try to understand. In the process of communication, you must gently show a child, what he is wrong and how it would have to do.
For parents it is very important to exercise emotions, but do not think to graze immediately by the belt: violence generates only violence. Always try to explain with the child, indicate the reasons for your discontent. Good way - please.
In one of the unpleasant situations, try to persuade the child to do your own, justifying your position and explaining why it will be better for him. And of course, no need to forget about the discipline and routine of the day, because the child will try to grope your weaknesses by all means.