Banal, but nevertheless, a firmly dilated stereotype in the head of many women of the most different age sounds like this: "Do not recognize the man first in your feelings." This is indecent, it is fraught with the fact that it will use and disappear. This is not a female or intrusive. In general, many reasons to hide your feelings. However, like any stereotype, it is only a form of interaction, which is absolutely not suitable for everyone.
The heroine of this article first began to talk with a partner about his feelings, dreams of family and children. Nevertheless, she had to face feelings accompanying this step: fear, waiting for threat, unsafe. Show your feelings frankly, without manipulations - this is one of the most risky deeds.
So, the dream of our heroine after the first frank conversation with his partner half a year ago:
"I was robbed. I come home and see that I have a mess, everything is inverted, things are lying around. I understand that I had thieves, they were overgrown with all things. Thought - Well, here, the most deep and nasty my fears were realized ... They crossed everything and took the most expensive ... I am discouraged. Then I open the box and see that my dollars were not taken away. It seems to be the most expensive and most obvious. I understand that the main thing is still in preservation. I feel easier and even some joy appears ... "
Apparently, her sleep testifies to some invasion of her borders. Thieves kidnap everything with which it associates its safety. In addition to the currency, this is the main wealth that thieves did not notice. Perhaps she understands that even after such an invasion, the main thing left with it.
After six months, the conversation happened between them, deepened. Couple pronounced their hopes, fears, fears. At night, almost identical sleep followed.
"I am at home, in my old apartment. Someone breaks, some thieves ... I understand that my castle is outdated ... And some group of people of dubious outdoor (homeless, thieves) is trying to enter me ... But then they do not enter the corridor. Then someone warns me that they will come at night, after 12, and they will make money from me. My neighbor warns me ... I feel uncomfortable. I feel that I break my borders that I do not have a castle ... Rather, these homeless people have a key from my old castle. I understand that I need a castle to change. I feel unprotected on this night, as they will come again. Moreover, I understand that they will not make a big evil, but there is discomfort, and I also know that they rob me to some amount. I'm trying to find a castle, but it's too late, shops do not work. Nearby there is no man who will help me install this castle ... My colleague appears, something is trying to do something for me, I appreciate it. Suddenly I understand that there is a night shop and I have a car, I can get there, although transport does not go. I buy a castle, quite good, I bring him home, but I can not install ... There is no screwdriver near the peasant. I do not know what to do. 12 hours approaching ... the final never came, I am in a light confusion (although there is no strong fear) about the insecurity of my borders and possible homeless night ... "
We see that the dream of the heroine repeatedly repelled her the invasion of her "house" - a place where she feels protected.
Probably, the demonstration of feelings is one of the strongest fears of our dreams. She associates it with an attack, theft
.
Express your feelings, culture and education at some stage prohibits. Be fun and calm - good. Be disappointed, evil, frightened, upset - bad. Culture is built on the principle of "good-bad", "you can cannot be", which imposes an imprint at all without exception. After all, each of us is experiencing different feelings, but some of them will have to hide due to the "cultural" settings. By the way, love and love can also be attributed to the hidden. Especially when it is not mutual. Or you fear that it is not mutual. Drying will help recycle these prohibitions and express feelings.
And what dreams of you? Send your stories by mail: [email protected].
Maria Dyachkova, PSYCHOLOGIST, Family therapist and leading trainings of personal growth Training center Marika Khazin