I recently came to me a few letters with the same questions and almost the same content of dreams.
These letters from young married women, with young children, satisfied with their position, and most importantly - loving their husbands. But the dreams are revealed by secret passions. Secret, first of all, from them themselves.
And here's what dreams:
"On the eve of this night I cleaned the mailbox. Since I recently got married, I decided that I had more to keep a correspondence with former lovers and fans. In the evening, I deleted everything from the mail, and at night I dreamed that I had sex with some of the "former", and in the process I think all the time: "Well, I have a husband!" I wake up with a terrible sense of shame and thoughts that I absolutely can not imagine how I lived with this if it was not a dream, but a yawl. "
And the dream of another woman: "In a dream, I again meet with my former lover. And even the idea that I was married and I want to stay a faithful husband, I did not stop me. I make love with the former, experiencing so strong feelings that I do not feel at the beginning with my husband. I wake up in complete bewilderment, since I didn't remember my former for many years, and I never thought about meeting him after painful parting. "
Of course, it is immediately easily accused to change women in a secret desire to change their husbands, and the crazy idea is creepy, as they don't even go smoothly with their husbands, the fantasies about other men are breaking around in dreams.
But not all is so obvious, although this approach may be faithful.
During the matrimony, the pair relationships undergo different stages. The time of the bright novel, euphoria, romance, as a rule, ends before the wedding (if it was not hasty). During the first rapprochement, the pair is experiencing the entire range of feelings, love, extravagancies. Often they remember the sexual relationship with great condemnation.
A joint life before the emergence of children is called the Diaband stage. In addition to joy from a joint stay, at this time the couple learn to truly get along with each other, produces joint traditions, rules, rituals of family life. If their preceding experience in parental families or with former partners will vary greatly, then this stage can take place violently, with scandals, with clarifications who are in the house owner. Then the first sensual storm and love are moving into the background. Partners demonstrate to each other not only their best quality, but also show their war strategies and means of solving conflicts. When this stage ends, the pair produces joint foundations and rules, in most cases 3 stage begins. This is the time of the triads - that is, the appearance of the firstborn. A parenting is added to their partnership, taking almost all the time that they had before each other. Love and sensuality is a lot of just memories.
But longing for these states, the desire to reveal the storm of feelings again. There is no time to dream, but there is a way out - this is a dream. Our subconsciously chooses an object to which all unwrapped eroticism projects, unrealized dreams and fantasies, because our heroines are bright, powerful to experience.
Rather, they suggest that in their daily life, burdened with concerns about children, joint life, there is no place for fantasies, there is no place to feel the desired and special woman again. Therefore, the whole passion breaks through sleep. It is possible that our heroines have gained offense on their husbands that sensuality went to the background, because in dreams and see their former beloved, in relations with which this sensuality was (but there was nothing except for her).
Our dreams can only be offered to return passion into their current marital relations. She is not going anywhere, only for a while sent in dark corners of the soul. In addition, they should be checked as they relate to their husbands: whether they do not dig offense for the routine attitude, do not need recognition and admiration - not in how they prepared dinner, but just like that? These studies will give them the opportunity to reite a fresh stream in relations with their close men.
Maria Dyachkova, PSYCHOLOGIST, Family therapist and leading trainings of personal growth Training center Marika Khazin