You can be happy in relationships even when the partner does not put you in anything. Such an alogichic behavior at first glance is explained by the installations typical of your worldview. Unfortunately, statistics only confirms a huge number of couples with a similar model of relations: about 20% of unions in America alone is considered abusive, according to the statistics of the American Family Therapy Center (AAMFT). Disassembles typical plants in such situations and helps to get rid of them.
"I live on all ready, and so staying with nothing."
What do not say, and the instinct of self-preservation in all of us work perfectly. Many women remain with partners only because they provide them - from housing to money on clothes. The situation is only aggravated when the girl goes into the maternity leave and remains with the child. In our culture, it is not customary to be the work on the house and child care of the present work - it is promoted that this is a gender role and almost the sacred duty of the female. In fact, home duties and upbringing children must go on the shoulders of both parents. And you, in order not to be in such a situation, it is worth thinking about providing yourself in the decree in advance: official employment and high salary will establish an optimal allowance for you, which can not be survived, but to provide yourself with a child.
Do not chase for money in a relationship, love is more important
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"Now he shouts, but then will come with a gift"
Fur coats, smartphones, jewelry - all major gifts after quarrels with a partner are not talking about his caringness and feelings of guilt, but about psychological disorders. In the theory of abusive behavior, such a pattern is called a honeymoon: the taskful after manual design and insults of you with gifts, a man makes you forget about what happened and re-open him to get under control. If you feel that you feed against negative emotions and already go to the conflict, you need to come for advice to the psychiatrist - this is a real copendion of the victim and a rapist, which never ends with nothing good.
"Corrects - I'm wondering, but I will not alone"
It makes no sense to sacrifice happiness in your personal life for good partner in all parameters. Now you play with the feelings of man while he looks at you in love with eyes, and then he realizes your attitude and starts to take revenge for a lie. Do not listen to those who claim that after the birth of children you can feel love even to an indifferent man - it is not. You will only become more unhappy because they have become closely connected with those who are not interested in you, which will certainly lead to family quarrels in front of the child. Do not torment yourself and put love above the benefits - money can always be earned, but you can not buy real love for them.
Wedding should not be the main thing in your life
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"I missed him, he was the best"
Another extreme of women who do not know how to enjoy their society - to worry about the already ended relationships. Usually the problem is inherent in young girls who have entered their first relationships. But sometimes adult experienced girls admit the same mistake when they are pressing from the outside: from parents who want to become grandparents, married girlfriends and even doctors hinting at suitable age to conceive a child. Only therapy will get rid of such a state, during which you increase self-esteem, aware of our independence from someone else's opinion and find an approach to yourself.