- Maxim, what was the reason for creating your center?
- It was in 1996. We then occupied a small cabinet in our edge cardiology center. Why in cardiology? Yes, because it turns out that the number of heart attacks in men is 4 times higher than in women, their repetition is 3 times more, and mortality from heart disease is almost 4 times. Here is a dispensary and invited us to develop and apply special psychological programs to help prevent repeated heart attacks in men.
This sad statistic is explained very simple - a feature of the social role, the behavior of men: they are more drinking, they smoke more, more in their lives of stress. At the same time, they are less than women, they are engaged in family, and the family is a very strong emotional support.
- There is an opinion that the family never stands for men in the first place. But the career, work ...
- In Sweden, conducted studies that showed that lonely men were more often sick than family. Although it seems to everyone that lonely live easier and calm. Nothing like this! Lonely no emotional support mechanism. By the way, children for men are much more important mechanism for emotional support than for women. Only here not all this is aware of it.
- What are the all-Russian problems?
- At our age, there were already two wars - the first and second Chechen campaigns. Our center just formed when they began to return from the Caucasus crippled in all senses guys - our peers, friends, classmates. And we started a program of social and psychological support returned from the war.
And between the first and second campaign we went to another serious male problem - lonely fathers. When we counted the number of such (and we were not just used paper statistics, and our legs went through all addresses and checked the reality of the situation), they were very surprised. Barnaul gained 600 such families! For the city with a population of 650 thousand inhabitants - not at all a small number. Mostly lonely fathers are widows. Normal, decent men who loved their wives. And when the wife died, this image of his beloved woman prevented them to create a family again. "New acquaintance? She is a bad mistress, the unworthy mother of my children, "they often have such an explanation.
Well, and engaged in these questions, we then reached the problems of the so-called social crisis: suicidal incidents, the lack of life orientation, the meaning of life. That is, the lost generation emerged (after the collapse of the USSR). It was 1998. That's how we started our work. Now we have a lot of directions: and we work with the fathers, and with men who have manifested cruelty. We also have a very strong direction on a diluted. We even agreed with the courts that all who submit an application for divorce, they send to us, in the crisis center. As a result - 30% of families can be saved.
Swedish studies have shown: lonely men are more often sick than family.
- Men prefer psychologists with the floor with them or still women?
- More than women. But in our center there are not only psychologists, very important specialists - sexopathologists and Andrologists. Because for a man, the sexual sphere is very and very important and, most importantly, closely interconnected with all other life aspects. Lost the work or began to earn less - there were problems in sexual life immediately (the absence of earnings is not included in the concept of masculinity). Conversely - problems with male health will certainly entail and social difficulties, up to suicide. So that's interesting - and sex patrologists. Our clients prefer female.
- Why?
"Because to tell another man about your problems much more difficult, he is subconsciously not a friend, but a competitor." And when the woman takes, the archetype of the mother is built, which can be confused in everything and share everyone. Although there is a fashionable direction abroad - psychological centers for men who work exclusively only representatives of strong sex. Such serious, positive, responsible fathers. They seem to be an example for imitation. But in our situation it did not work.
- So Russian men differ from foreign?
- Different. First, we have no culture of treatment in psychological centers. And secondly, our men are especially pronounced so-called factor of male pseudooptimism. That is, the confidence that "nothing will happen to me, I do not care anything and I don't need help." He even has a very developed Chernobyl (we worked with this category). Although they would seem to be ashamed to be confessed in illness, because the irradiation was strong. But no: "I do not support anything and refuse the therapy." We saw it very clearly. This factor of male pseudooptimism, in particular, the reason that in our country there are much more men HIV-infected.
- How did it happen that your center is the only one for the whole of Russia?
- Like a large, narrowly specialized and received state support - yes, the only one. But the case has already shifted from the dead point. I counted 15 projects across the country that are devoted to men. But mostly they are all aimed at work with fathers: lonely, young, different. Surgut is the center of the Zasomrikal. Vologda - "Men who allow cruel appeal", in St. Petersburg - "Papashkola" ...
I have an idea - somehow all these centers combine and arrange a conference, exchange experience. Because men need to engage and involve them in the life of the family, in the raising of children. Then the orphans will be less and women are more, and therefore more strong, friendly families. In addition, there is an important element of the strengthening of male health. After all, all representatives of strong sex at 40 years old begins a gender crisis when they begin to think not about the career, money, the number of women and beautiful cars, but about Tom: "For what I live and who I will still leave it now? "Then the men begin to remember both the children left, and the destroyed families. But it is too late. So we have something to work on!