Behind the Spring window, the mood is excellent. For happiness, young, attractive and lonely woman in the city, you only need acquaintance with an interesting man. And so that there was a stormy novel with a promising continuation ...
But where to meet this?
It seems that, famous men are not suitable for this role. And where to take others? Where is generally acquainted? How and with whom to once again not disappointed?
Being a man in a similar situation is much easier. He is not alone, he is free, he is in the search. This completely changes the case. Attitude towards a man Other - you have to flirt with him, to play, like it, it is worth captivated. But to a lonely woman attitude ambiguous. Since one, it means that something is not in order with her: not in demand for men.
However, loneliness or relationships are the consequences of our actions. This is a conscious or unconscious selection of each and each.
Here are some examples of the reasons why women with all their external data and an excellent character remain alone.
one. Heavy expectations from a partner. "Vasya only told" Hi ", and Katya already in the imagination celebrated the wedding and gave him three children." This bitter truth is how it is impossible to illustrate the first and one of the most common causes of failures. A woman is waiting for a man for a long time. And when someone is found, then the entire accumulated steamer, dreams and hopes falls on it. Instead of enjoying each other's society, the woman carefully controls how much the potential partner copes with the role of the spouse - the father of their future children is a friend - a lover - support and support - a generous and rich patron. A man who did not know that such a mountain of expectations is entrusted to him, it is very difficult for them to fit. As a result, you can hear something like: "You are wonderful, I do not deserve it." And stay again alone.
2. Escape from loneliness. People do not like when they enjoy them. And you do not like. But for the relationship and the "third grade is not a marriage." In an effort to cope with fears like "I will remain alone", "no one loves me and does not love," women are enough for the opportunity to be in a relationship, as for the last straw. The case is not at all in a man. It is necessary that someone is that the emptiness of loneliness is not so painful and frank. A man may not be interesting at all, not loved. All that need from him is just to be nearby. You hardly wanted to overlap spiritual holes in anticipation of the best options. That's men do not like it. And you stay alone again.
3. Unfinished relationships. Maybe love and real proximity has already happened in your life. For various reasons, it ended in a year or two or three years ago. Even ten or fifteen. The point does not change. Time such problems does not heal. If you loved someone, and the relationship ended unfairly, this wound in the soul still did not close. You carry it with you, even affected pain. However, wherever you go, with anyone to try to create relationships anew, at some stage of memories of wonderful proximity to ous out any reality. Exactly, you still have not healed and have not completed last connection. Maybe it is not so painful, but exemplary. None of the men can replace you yourself, and no one can wake up the very feeling! Incorrect relationships - the most common thing. Examples in my practice Massa: Women's love for the first husband early to die or left it. Since then, her lot has been a boring family life with an unloved second spouse, which is cold enough and removed, and also pretends well that he does not notice her many years of mourning. Or a young woman who came to consult recently. Her first and only love is a school friend who went to another city 15 years ago, despite the fact that they wanted to be together and from high schools built plans for marriage. This woman did not survive that shock when he moved and immediately after graduation I found myself a new girlfriend. She built a breathtaking career, provided herself, allowed themselves any journey. But I never got together with anyone. As if she gave himself a promise not to love anyone.
However, the infancy of fate is only certain lessons for our soul. Being lonely is not a confluence of circumstances, this is a choice of each. This choice in most cases is made unconsciously, but then each finds a "logical" explanation for himself. In fact, there is no reason to continue in the same vein. One can only admit that he has led you to such results now, and start moving in another direction.
Maria Dyachkova, PSYCHOLOGIST, Family therapist and leading trainings of personal growth Training center Marika Khazin