Parents always want only the best to their children, but in some cases their attitude towards heirs is difficult to call healthy. It is not about physical violence, but less noticeable, but much more destructive impact - mental violence, after which the child is difficult to form as a person. As a rule, such parents put in front of a child, requiring mutually exclusive solutions.
We invite you to familiarize yourself with the main signs of a toxic parent.
1. Site - our all
Parents often believe that only with a tough ink in the family, you can raise a personality that meets all the requirements of society. Children in such a family "live" in the breaks between the mood of parents: Today you can all, tomorrow is the criticism and reproaches, in the event of a response to the negative on the part of the parent: "Look, what kind of good boy from aunt Luda is not what you" .
It is important to make friends, but abide by the distance
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2. Adults know better, but you can't do anyway
In such cases, the child is responsible for improper decisions of adults. The child begins to believe that the father rarely appears at home, because he, a child, did not fit the expectations assigned to him.
And the opinion of the child itself is never taken into account: "What can he understand?" - Parents think, while they do not prevent them from pulling him into conflicts between adults.
3. You're better than everyone, but still - no one
Parent-Narcissus is a big problem. He is waiting for high results from a child, and when Chado seeks what they demand from him, simply declares: "Well, well done." Any success is perceived as due, the excess praise only hurts, the moms and dads, and dads, and docked on the permanent achievement of high results. In case the child cannot overcome that height that toxic parents ask him, he simply declare: "What did you expect? You are the same as everyone, if not worse, "even if the child was a round excellent party and the subject of their pride.
Remove personal space
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4. In you so many flaws, but do not even think to correct them
On this basis, it is easy to calculate the insecure parent, who is playing on his own child, increasing its own significance in his eyes. Most often, the child is criticized for appearance, because it is the easiest. And absolutely no matter if the child has defects or not - they can be inventing them.
Such a parent will be desperate to resist the child's attempt to change something in itself, because then the parent itself will lose such precious control.
5. Be successful, but not harmful to my control
The child is spurred to achieve goals by any means, but at the same time he must remain in the field of view of the mother or father, in order to prescribe on it. In such families you can hear: "Why don't you start new acquaintances? You need connections. But not today, because you should help me with the same thing. " The desires of the child, if they do not coincide with the parents, are always ignored.
6. Do what they are told, but in the event of the failures of Vini only yourself
In such families, the child's life is scheduled since childhood, right up to the wedding. The parent takes on the role of the owner of the child's fate, only he knows how best his daughter or son live life. In case of failure, such a parent exposes a guilty child, saying: "I told you!"
Despite all the successes, some parents still underestimate their children
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7. When you eat! Where are you going?
The child's desire to separate - always normal, but not for a toxic parent, who "not for this" gave birth and brought up a child. In their understanding, the separation of parents from children happens, but somewhere far away, not here. All this does not interfere from time to time to reject a child square meters.
What to do and how to behave if you "caught" your parents in toxicity?
Not always to move to another apartment can solve the problem: Nothing prevents parents to influence you, being on the far distance. Therefore, it is important to develop a strategy of behavior:
Live only by your rules.
Do not allow order on your territory.
Do as well as yourself considers it necessary.
Respect your own interests.
All this does not mean that it is necessary to move away from parents, just install the boundaries that cannot be disturbed or your parents.