How to finally break with the past and learn to live in the present

Anonim

In the life of almost every person, periods occur when everything "strains", I want to throw and run into an unknown. This is a normal situation for a developing person, psychologically growing, and not just a passport.

From early childhood, we dream of a happy life, and understand your happiness for everyone. The question is different - we want to change, we dream about changes, we are waiting for changes and at the same time they are afraid. The fact is that most of us "sits in the head." And the larger and longer you "sit" in this very head, the less in your vitality (vitality) on the physical plane, is a slow process of destruction, the creation of prerequisites for psychosomatic diseases and slaughtering down in economic indicators.

A very popular request - how to avoid it? As well as on the shelves, a huge number of literature on the topic "How to become happy?"

My answer does not claim the truth in the last instance, but I passed through this crisis myself, riding a cancer and problems in relationships. Changes will not come instantly, but they really come, if you change your thinking (train again) and let go of the claim in anticipation of the quick result.

Psychologist, Expert Graphist Svetlana Kovalenko

Psychologist, Expert Graphist Svetlana Kovalenko

Photo: instagram.com/svetlana_psycholog13/

My step-by-step instruction:

1. Stop lying to yourself, learn to be honest with yourself.

We are raising depending on the opinions of others, yes, this illusion is laid in the head of the child back in the distant childhood. Everyone can remember the abundance of installations on the topic "What or what a child should be to love", what should be fit, seek you then respected in society. Advertising also imposes standards of behavior and buying demand - "Buy and you will be happy."

Alas, we are aware of ourselves through the past ... when we were offended, betrayed or humiliated ... From this state, we are only used to think about what we do not want to happen to us. Internal dialogue all the time gives duality - good / bad, right / not correct.

What is - stop lying to yourself? This taking ourselves with all the advantages and minuses, is the recognition of the presence or absence of some results in life, and whether I really need them, or these are imposed goals. "Vrachier" on the emotional plan looks like this: you feel one thing, you think the other (dlyaly), and speak the third - no balance.

2. Show, first of all, love for yourself.

They say a lot about love, they write about her, they are looking for - in search of their second half. Check if, please, what, top or bottom, left or right?

Most of the phrase "Love your neighbor as yourself" - how to love him if a person himself does not like himself and takes. In the head daily, thoughts rush that he / she do not do as I wanted and how I think that it is right. We have to evaluate everything and always, on autopilot.

Love for the world begins, too, of love for yourself. When you have it in excess, then not Sadko just like this, without the requirement of something in return.

3. Learn to use positive words and say that most often would like to hear.

The brain, at the level of linguistics, to respond to part of the estimated words, pull out the picture of similar situations from memory, to confirm its right. You compare something new in your life with already known pictures and models of reactions to them, and if there is no appropriate, then the emotion of fear and denial in action arises, that is, conflicts.

Fear - I remind you, the favorite toy of the mind that he uses to stop his master. In the traditions of the environment, also resist the frightening changes of one of its members. So they try to hook you on the "draining" of energy (like vampires) through the activation of negative emotions - resentment, anger, anger, sadness - with "good intentions", all for stability so that you are stuck in the past. Only in the past there is no energy, then it is the past.

4. Learn less to criticize words, think critically and more thanks.

If you start clever and criticize others or yourself about what you had to do, as you wanted or as you said - you lose, first of all, yourself and fall out of reality. The ability to be here and is now training not only in meditation, but also in these situations. Create within yourself the state you need and begin to act.

5. Constructive thinking is very important.

What condition do you dream of your future? Most often, this is a scheme - we think about what we do not want to happen to us, again duality is good / bad. There is no willingness to go to a new future, the hook for the old "at any cost", because there was a feeling of stability, according to the brain. I wish you to go to unison with my destination program and in happiness.

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