Once there was a fear. He lived - did not pass and entertained how he could - scared himself. And when he learned to scare himself so much that he himself began to be afraid, he decided that it was enough to spend in vain time and it's time to understand why he was generally created and what was his mission at all. And the fear went on the road.
After some time, he met a man who stood on the edge of a high mountain, going to jump down on the rocks. Fear decided to meet, and as soon as a person knew the fear, then his eyes immediately filled with horror from the fact that he felt the smell of death. And retreated from the edge of the mountain.
And then fear was delighted. He understood - his mission to help include instincts of self-preservation, survival and safety.
And since then the fear has become a companion of everything living on Earth.
Marina Alyasova, expert on relationships, author of the book "Do not go, girls, marry ..."
So what is fear? And do you need to deal with him?
In fact, fear is our basic emotion, a congenital emotional process that warns us of real or imaginary danger. And we have to tell him thanks. After all, thanks to fear, we survive with you!
But sometimes fear interferes, arising at the most inopportune moment. Sometimes we defeat him, sometimes fear wins us. But fear is our native emotion, and it turns out that we are struggling with yourself. And in the fight against you, as you know, one tired, the other - the loser.
What to do? I suggest to make friends with him. How? Easily!
First, take the fact that fear is a huge resource that is simply important to learn how to use.
Secondly, it is important to understand what fear is afraid? Sometimes he is afraid to change the usual way of life. What happens at this moment?
A new action forms a neural network that "remembers" behavioral skill. And in order to change something, the creation of a new neural network is required, and in order to get rid of anything, the destruction of the old one is required. And it takes time and, accordingly, energy. Therefore, on any new change, our brain responds through the body as a stress, and we experience fear.
How else can fear be formed? With the help of our imagination, nothing happened yet, and we already imagine a horror movie. And this built neural network becomes a formula of fear. And our past experience in which we suffered fiasco.
What to do when you feel fear?
The first thing I propose to do is understand what he is afraid.
Second - Find the source of this fear in the body and imagine it in the form of a tangle. How is it twisted? You can draw it on paper, you can reproduce his rotation with your finger. Find the end of the thread and start unwinding this tangle. As unwinding, the fear will become less. Repeat on various situations so that your brain creates a new neural network.
To secure the result, you can "link" from this thread, for example, a verge of. Call it caution, and she will protect you in different moments of your life: help, for example, to build a structure of public speeches in such a way that you are aware of "gaps" and could eliminate them on time. When communicating with new people - learn to listen and hear the interlocutor and not to express careless thoughts that can harm you or the negotiation process. At an important moment of your life, take a deliberate and environmentally friendly solution. In relationships with close caution, you will save you from quarrels and unnecessary accusations.
And every time you definitely talked yourself for being careful about yourself, and your fear - after all, he cares about your safety. And then the struggle with fear will turn into a fascinating game in which you set the rules.