The biography of the stars of the series "Sweet Life" and "Trigger" of Roman Mayakina has always been attractive for journalists, because he reminded the famously swirling dramatic plot. There were tragic death of parents, early marriage to a woman with three children, rapid weight loss and care from the theater, a surge of popularity, divorce, reflections on the meaning of life ... In the new chapter of this story we find our hero on Bali, in the company of the charming girl Sofia Cofmann. And, as it turns out, everything was quite natural. Details - in an interview with the magazine "Atmosphere".
"Roman, while people are sitting on quarantine, you and your girlfriend went on a journey to Bali." Tell how it happened.
- This is a confluence of circumstances, I did not plan to be on Bali. But I am a fatalist to some extent and believe that there are some fundamental events that will still happen in our life, you wish you or not. The last year was very active in a professional plan. I worked without vacation and practically without days off. In January, I ended with shooting, which were mainly not held in Moscow. Sonya parallelly launched his socially oriented project about the quality of life of Hipo, collected the team of like-minded people, built everything from scratch and was busy work. During this year we both tired and wanted to spend more time together. Therefore, they planned a big trip to March. The official Pandemic of Coronavirus in Russia was not yet, and we did not assume that everything would change so quickly. Calculated to return to quarantine. Very wanted to see the Angkorvat Temple Complex - the largest Hindu temple in the world. We flew in Siem Riep and saw Angkor Wat as few people had the opportunity to contemplate him - we were practically together there, we usually have a huge number of tourists from different countries. This made it possible to fully experience all the beauty and majesty of this place. But due to the lack of people, we fully realized the seriousness and unpredictability of the situation in the world. The next point of our trip was Singapore, I was always attracted by this city with a combination of industrial achievements and proximity to nature, a reasonable state device. And when we flew to Singapore, Russia introduced a ban on the entry of foreign citizens. And since Sonya, although he lives in Moscow for four years already, after all, a foreigner, we could no longer come back. And so the fate ordered that during the epidemic, we found themselves in Asia and decided to wait for the opportunity to return home on Bali, because there were still departures and there was a minimum amount of infected. By the way, on March 21, Indonesia stopped issuing visas, and we were one of the last tourists who flew to the closure of the borders. As a result, our romantic journey led to the fact that for three months we live on Bali.
"Not the most pleasant feeling is to realize that you can't go home. But Bali is very interesting place, no wonder it is called magical "
Photo: Olga Vetrova
- And what is it - in such a difficult time to be away from the homeland?
- In fact, this is not the most pleasant feeling - to realize that you can't go home. This is another country, another mentality, other laws. Naturally, anxiety was present: how long the isolation would last, how the situation with Coronavirus will develop, which will be with the work. But Bali is very interesting place, and it is no wonder called magical. Most of their lives and budget, local residents give the local faith - Buddhist and Shivaism mixtures, conduct rituals, are engaged in mediative practitioners. In itself, the place can be called nasty. Yes, and people who inhabit this island are quite interesting in their philosophy and worldview.
I am grateful to the situation that I was on Bali, since some things have opened me in a different way. Gradually, the focus of my attention has moved from external factors for himself: what I need to "be considered", to correct that, on the contrary, to develop. And in general, it seems to me that we will remember the time of self-insulation as a greater restructuring of the whole world and every person. All sorts of crutches were collapsed, which we had: work, the significance of external, social status, environment, we all remained alone with you. And for the majority, this is a rather complicated meeting, we are accustomed to deceiving ourselves and turned out to be simply not ready for some discoveries. At the level of the global economy and government agencies, among other things. Overnight, it would seem that such well-established systems built by a person gave a serious failure. In nature, everything is designed competently: every beast, every bird can find yourself impregnation, and many citizens who live in society found themselves on the verge of hungry existence. Quarantine showed that something needs to be changed both in itself and at the level of the state. I think we will go into the world already completely different people. After spending a lot of time alone with me, we were forced to look for some tools to feel more comfortable. And when you change myself, the life of those surrounds you is automatically changing, because we are all connected with each other. I want to believe that we will be more comfortable with each other, more respect will appear, take another opinion, another point of view. I also think that the current situation will give us more understanding of yourself as part of the Earth's ecosystem, the desire to do something useful for others.
"You just looked like a favorite woman was nearby."
- It seems to me that every self-respecting person must live so that there are close and beloved people nearby. The current situation in the world forced many to think about important topics: why do I do this work, I go to this job, I live with this man, in this place? People were in a completely unnatural state of isolation and got in touch with the true situation in relations. Someone acquires real intimacy, and some relationship shall suffer. I am grateful to be in this situation with Sonya. Many men perceive a beautiful woman as an indicator of their success. And this is not the case, a woman is a companion. It is necessary to strive to seek a soul that you interact with each other, strengthened and healed each other. It is important to ask yourself a question: I live with her, because I love, or I flatter that she is beautiful and it's nice to get into the world? Or maybe I'm just afraid of loneliness? We can say that all actions in your life we do, guided by globally two feelings: fear or love. In my opinion, we all must at some point come to the fact that it is necessary to live in love. Do not be afraid to leave with prestigious work, if it is not your business. Part with a woman if no longer love. Or honestly admit that there was never it, but was self-deception.
"I don't like everything in Sona, she is in me. You need to see a number of real living person, and not try to fit it under your concept of an ideal family "
Photo: Olga Vetrova
- Have you always tried to live just like that - according to love?
- No, of course not. Much in my life used to be dictated by the survival instinct. I was very frightened in the nineties. (Laughs.) In that society, it seemed to be normal to pick up something someone else's and to rise on it, do nothing, but get dividends. The success indicator was material things, but no one analyzed how this success was acquired. I confess that he sometimes did the choice, based on fear: what do others say? I will coordinate or envy me if I play this role, I will appear in this costume, I will ride this car? I went to the race for social status, prestige, my own positioning and for all this forgot about myself. It is necessary to ask yourself a question: why do I really want? We always internally know where the truth is. This speaker is very well audible in childhood, and over time he is all quieter and quieter, because the outside sounds are muted. We tell us what kind of prestigious work, what's not, how should you dress, how to communicate with people, what books to read, and what movie to watch, and what films should you like. There is a social opinion, and you are afraid to go against him, seem otherwise, because you will suddenly agree? But now the world did it with us, everything stopped, so that we heard what inside. I am internally feeling: everything that happens is good. My close circle of communication was narrowed to the limit - in fact, these are two or three people important for me, which somehow change me and whom I change.
- And Sonya is one of them?
- Of course, she my native soul. Otherwise, I generally do not see the point of sharing with someone my territory. Next to me, the woman I am very proud of and which I trust. When you fall in love, it is very important to come to such intimacy. It is difficult, because to open something new with another person, one must break something old. When the first euphoria goes from love, you open a person in a different way, including his dark sides, and it is important to take each other true. We are sometimes intolerant, for some reason it easily forgive yourself for mistakes, but much more difficult - the other. I believe that without trust can not be real intimacy. In my case, confidence is one of the most difficult things. Previously, I always left myself a spare option in case of failure, "Stolil straw." But now I do not want to prepare for anything. We have no simplest relationship with Sonya, they are far from the romantic, which are described in women's novels. Sonya is my partner who knows me in different manifestations. We sometimes swear, we argue and move together on. This proximity has no limit, and it brings an infinite feeling of happiness.
"The story of a divorce is not easy, including a child. And it is important for him to understand that parents stayed in good relationships "
Photo: Olga Vetrova
- We are talking about so much about philosophy, it is not surprising that there is such a person with you as a sonia, which has even a project for self-development.
- When we met, Sonya was a managers in a major corporation. In the course of our relations, it happened that the focus of her life has changed, she did not want to work more in a purely commercial structure, it became most important to benefit people. Her level of happiness, joy from life is high enough, and she knows the tools and resources as to this
ti. Her new project is just aimed at improving the quality of life and support people in development. He combined media, expert community and conceptual store. Sonya for the formation of a psychologist, now this profession is very popular. Such a number of information on psychology and self-development comes to people that they do not know what to do with it. Sonina Platform is just designed to help readers navigate. She joined me to psychoanalysis - often some important things the person himself cannot see. It even affected my attitude to the profession. Now, when analyzing characters, I am interested in his psychological structure: why does my hero come so that his motivation, where is the source of his behavioral patterns? More importantly, the reason is not the result.
- Are you with Sonya for a long time together? How did you meet?
- We met on the island of Pangan in Thailand, in the company of general friends. For some reason, as you can see, much is connected with Asia. (Smiles.) It is said that people who seek to find love will definitely meet their half in Pangan ... And there is a belief on Bali that the island checks the relationship to strength. Apparently, all his time. I remembered that the years two before that we were with Sonya represented each other in one event, but then we did not interest each other. Different things then inspired us. Well, after Pangan, we flew to Moscow, did not communicate somewhere in a month and a half, and then we again met in the common company. And already went together on the play "Resurrection" on the novel of Leo Nikolayevich Tolstoy. Since then, each other and "resurrect." (Laughs.) We met already enough adults, everyone had their own Bacground, some ideas about relationships. We could not open our feelings for a long time, looked after. But the feeling that there is something important that we were connected, it arose immediately. Therefore, we understood that we need to go to each other, in something to launch our old schemes and ideas. We together for the third year, but every year getting closer to each other, as if we open our soul, hidden behind the protective layers. I, in fact, these relationships were a continuation of a certain process of self-knowledge.
- Apparently, the transformation began earlier, in the former union. You met the ex-wife Lena, being very young. Early lost their parents, she gave you a feeling of family, support. But then the boy turned into a man ...
- Listen, it is impossible to say that I grew out of those relationships, it is some kind of arrogance. I still continue to communicate with Lena, and I feel about the need. But the conditions of the game changed. There is no husband-women's relationship, but we did not become each other. Lena greatly influenced me, and I probably on her. I just went one way, and she also develops to another, becomes internally more beautiful, richer and more interesting. I feel gratitude to her, she is the mother of my child. It so happened that the child chose us to come to this world. And this is a miracle and great joy. Our common task is now to bring up a good person. Of course, the story was not easy to divorce, including the child. And it is important for him to understand that parents remained in good relations, feel respect for each other.
"We could not open in our feelings for a long time. But the feeling that we were connected to something important, arose at once. "
Photo: Olga Vetrova
- How is your chatting with your son?
- I missed my son very much, and although every day we call up, I miss our physical contact. So for a long time we have never parted. This is one of the moments that he grows. So immediately at arrival in Moscow I will try to spend the maximum time. In general, on your own example, I want the Misha to show that a person can be happy and should strive for it. I want to open him the bright sides of the world.
- Have you introduced him to Sonya?
- Yes, I really want them to become friends. And glad that it turns out. Sonya will never take the place of Mom and does not claim it. But I hope, in the heart of Misha for her there is its place, because Sonya is very important for me. I want to create a family with her so that we are parents in the future. But we approach this thoughtfully, consciously, we wonder what we can give each other and the child, which we may appear in the future. Family is not created because you already have thirty and badly be alone, but because it is with this person you grow, develop, know yourself and him too. Because you find your native soul.
- It happens that people meet and together are very good together. But the experience of joint residence becomes a real test due to the difference in household habits.
- In fact, you will never pick yourself a perfect partner who would arrange a hundred percent. I don't like everything in Sona, she is in me. You need to see a real living person next to him, and not try to fit it under your concept of an ideal family, invented in adolescence. To recognize the partner, its strengths and those that do not suit you for some reason. And it is important to understand, and why some manifestations of another cause negative emotions. Most likely, these are the most qualities in you, and just need to be removed. And when you remove them in yourself, they will stop annoying in another person. People who meet to us in the life path are essentially mirrors in which we are reflected. They indicate important things that we need to pay attention.
"I went to race for social status, prestige, my positioning and for all this forgot about myself"
Photo: Olga Vetrova
"But a person, changing himself, begins to influence what around. Does your current worldview reflect on the roles that offer you?
- It is interesting that I used to be offered the roles of men who were successful from a social point of view, who were absolutely unhappy with alone with them. They were looking for the causes of their failures outside, in their women, circumstances, surroundings. Probably, this partially reflected my inner state at that time. I myself was overly focused on external. Now I have a rather curious period, the roles come, which I am interesting not only from a professional point of view, but also as a person. A completely different characters appear - people who are in the spiritual search, which have achieved skill in their business. If earlier my heroes have increasingly figured out relationships with women: they fell in love, went out, changed them, spoiled life, brought to suicide, now I offer stories related to male ambitions, self-realization. Apparently, it is in the focus of my vital interest.
- Do you feel the influence of your popularity, fame and in connection with this responsibility for your life?
- On the contrary, when I myself began to take responsibility for my life, and not to swim downstream, and the opportunity to influence whose opinion and the worldview. If you take a period of twenty to thirty years, most of the strength was aimed at working out that heavy baggage, which I dragged behind my back. And then there was an understanding that my life is in my hands, and at the same time, sales in the profession began to occur. At one time I decided to leave the theater. Although in fact I chose the acting profession because I dreamed of playing on stage. The backstage life was painted incredible, fantastic. But the reality was not at all the one that I naphnthazed. I began to feel uncomfortable in it. That was not the wine theater. (Smiles.) Theater them. The Mossovet, in which I served, formed long before my birth, and I did not dictate my rules. At the same time, due to employment in the theater, there was no possibility of additional earnings, participation in the shooting. Thus, the choice was made in favor of the movie. But the thrust for the theater remained. I have a play Lady's Night, which we did together with Viktor Shamirov. By the way, it was my first director in the theater. Mossovet. And I play this performance with great pleasure, but at the same time I have no feeling that I serve some institution. I serve myself.