Parents are the closest people for us. They know us like no other and sometimes use it, manipulating us, often not realizing themselves. They want to be aware of our personal life: worry about us, which is natural and normal, and try to give advice. But often parents have excessive psychological pressure on children, because of which they feel uncomfortable. What if you understand that your parents manipulate? How not to hurt the closest people, but at the same time clearly designate personal boundaries?
The less often the better
When cases of manipulation occur from time to time, there is no terrible. It is worth worrying when the pressure happens constantly - prevents personal life and deprive of spiritual equilibrium. If manipulations occurred in childhood, in the future the child will not be able to make independent decisions, will not be aware of its true needs and desires.
We look at the criteria
There are several signs for which it is easy to understand that your parents manipulate:
-You feel the pressure;
-What emotions and feelings do not take into account;
- arrangers take part in all spheres of your life;
- Productors are trying to influence you in making important decisions.
The dialogue between the parent-manipulator and the child usually occurs in the edgewise key.
Consider tactics
There are several tactics of parents trying to manipulate children. The first tactic is accusing a child in their unpleasant feelings and emotions. Parent imposes guilt for his emotions to the child. Such behavior in the family is inexplicitly establish the rules that emotions can be used as an argument or method of psychological pressure. For example, Mom explains what she shook at you, as you brought it with my inappropriate behavior.
The second tactic is the depreciation of other people's senses. It always seems to us that there is nothing stronger than your own emotions. Alien problems we perceive more calmly - this happens not only in the relationship of the parent and child. Such behavior is peculiar to all people.
Third tactics - deprivation of love. After a non-departious act in childhood, parents may not talk to the child, do not look at it - in general, to ignore in every way. The reason for this behavior is that parents simply do not know how to behave. If we are talking about the like when the child grows and becomes an adult, it is worth stopping such actions immediately.