Think about when for the last time you met in all respects a healthy person living in perfect equilibrium with their food addictions looking cheerfully, tightened and beautiful. The reality is that, since herself and looking around, you can find a thin game in the balance of the forces between meals and by me, under the motto "Who?". Having flimsy, it's time to admit that in these maneuvers, no matter how try, the defeat is guaranteed. Of course, some go to the gym, sit on diets (well, if not sitting, they understand them perfectly), measured kilograms and centimeters, distributing the others on "their" and "not their" on how they build their relationships with Food. Food wins. She has power over us. This we ourselves endowed her power. Theme, you see, extensive. I suggest to understand - not with a screw, but gradually, in small portions, several times a day.
Well, admit what exactly are you interested in while you read these lines? A new way "finally get rid of hated superfluous sides and stubble" or pump your vulnerable ego in that even in this form you have the right to love and appreciate yourself? Or maybe you drive a desire to adjust something in your epic war with something that is not entitled to existence in your body?
In this article you will not find recommendations for adjustment. We are talking about knowing yourself through food. People want to change their food - but before changing something in their lives, it would be nice to study that in general it is going on with us. It is through food that can be found with you. I belong to those therapists who do not believe that immediately need to change something. Instead of the question "What to do about it?" It is better to ask: "How did it happen that I eat like me?" In this and the psychology of food is concluded: in the process of thoughts about it, the choice, cooking, chewing, refusal of food, its disposal ...
My personal story is quite banal. At an early age they were given to the choreographic school, where teachers drove their pedagogical talents along the way and certainly were not accustomed in matters of the influence of their sayings on the rapid minds. There, I have suffered a given one that something is wrong with me, and concentrated these knowledge to the area of relationships with the body. Favoring violations of food behavior, I subsequently sought the way to cope with the wounds of my childhood. This expensive I came to therapy, as the cause of my life. Now in our work I follow the approach of knowing yourself through relationships with food.
It is no secret that there are people who eat all the garbage, smoke as a steam locomotive and remain healthy (more precisely, the unexplored). And there are those that feed "purified prana" and are sick, unreviving dying. Of course, so I want to find the only correct recipe! Alas, it is impossible to achieve this, only changing your power system. After all, "edible theme" is the coping of everything that is in our life.
It often happens that the food is supplanted by all other spheres. For example, so: I tried to build a close relationship, I did not succeed, I rejected me - and now I already sit on a diet or jerk my shame. Instead of fighting my urban chief, I go to drink tea with candy. With the wife of sex not? Ok, we will follow the TV with a delicious cake and drink a cold beer bottle. I feel lonely and no one needed? Then urgently need to lose weight and roll up. On the diet! From Monday! No, from Tuesday. I buy an annual subscription to the gym and the most expensive sportswear. Let him lie down, the conscience will calm ...
We really live under the urnet. It structures our life, our time as any other topic. If you remove food and drink, all that is connected with them - purchase, cooking, use, washing dishes, - generally exclude all this digestion from life, then a breakdown of time, which is generally incomprehensible to do! It is well familiar to those who have passed long hunger strikes.
In addition, food structures time, it interferes with the relationship. Any gathering of people for any reason is associated with food. She becomes an intermediary, in the absence of which other topics are on the surface, to which people sometimes can simply be ready. Food replaces intimacy, serves as a buffer in embarrassing situations when there is nothing to say. In all these cases eaten together, or near, or alone.
Food is just because of the food, and nothing else. She cannot replace any other areas of life. Although sometimes you need to literally sprinkle to understand it. For example, a well-known therapeutic case.
Mother of the girl turned to the therapist, worried about the fact that after the divorce, the child began to selflessly love his experiences. "I want my daughter less a little, but as soon as I start to insist, I lose contact with her," the woman complained. In the conversation, it turned out that the strongest girl is tied to chocolate dragee in a multicolored glaze. She hides sachets with these candy under the pillow and secretly eating them. Then the therapist advised literally to fill the pillowcase with these dragies. Just put this bag next to her pillow, as the candies are reduced to add them as much as it takes. At first, the girl was ate full of grieving, then - less and less, until it turned out that no longer had to add candy. It happened after she, first recovering, suddenly began to drop weight sharply and began to ask her more healthy food from Mom.
His majesty control
Instead of finding out that there is, when there is and how much, you just need to stop and ask yourself a question: "And what, in fact, happens?" Where there are words "schedule", "diet", "weight loss", "Weight set" - behind all this is worth control. And where control, there is inappropriate intervention and, as a result, stress.
In childhood, each of us should live a period of uncontrolled enjoyment of life, as the necessary stage of development. If we did not pass it, most likely, we are diverted on it and the whole life is then trying to compensate for this shortage. People who have not passed this stage of pleasure, choose ame for food. Not sex, not a dream - just go! This is the most reliable remedy for instant satisfaction.
If during the period of gaining the experience of the pleasure of us, we swore, intervened and controlled, this experience will forever be connected with shame. In the case when the food process is associated with a stable shame and wine, we inevitably turn into uncontrolled consumers. "Drink" yourself an excess body, thereby exacerbating their problems. This is a great way to turn into an object of pressure on the side of the culture, the blameing completeness. Turns out that? Shame to shame on shame to shame ... There is a retavaticization, full of people are pretending that they are sitting on a diet, but actually eat a sly. Any concentration of a person for excess weight only aggravates its position.
The only thing we can do is to swing the pendulum in the other direction, allow yourself to enjoy it fully and check where our other edge. At least for a while!
Any diet is an attempt to control pure form. Say, here I am not controlling any other scope of my life, but I can and I will! And if I now eat the laid salad, then, it means I control the situation, it means everything is in order. But amnesia comes at night when we find ourselves inside the refrigerator. In my trainings, I give participants such a task: Compulsive dieters certainly lead the scored and dropped weight, calculate how many kilograms they have passed during their diets. Amazing numbers are obtained in healthy people, from which the hair stands on end: on average 45 kilograms, and one woman counted even 170!
When psychological dependence on food retreats, then the body is released. The very idea that I am, and not someone from the side, the Lord of his body gives us the opportunity to live without feeling guilt and shame. So, you can not eat not in order to grab pleasure in the context of prohibitions and regulations, but because it is now more correct to eat what I want.
Anyone who at least partly understands how our body works, what processes occur in it, what and how it is absorbed in it, and what - no, from which this or that food consists, much more consciously comes to meals. And the lack of awareness is the cornerstone of all problems with food.
Although the diet has long been compromised, the crowds of blind adepts as a herd goes to meaningless flour. And what if an unconscious impulse take a diet - is it a cry of help? Most likely, at this moment of life, we move the need for another order. It is possible to recognize it only through the stop and frank check, from which we run.
The main task of such a "edible approach" is to deepen in the blind spots of relationships with food. It is necessary to free up the forces that we spend on control for the full implementation of yourself in life. Remember the motto? Food is just a meal. And the real tests are waiting for us on another scene.
EV Hazin is a psychologist, an art therapist, a specialist in nutritional psychology. Leading personal growth trainings in the Mary Hazin Training Center