"Excellent syndrome" is the domestic name of the extreme degree of perfectionism - the quality that makes its owner or the owner strive for the ideal in everything and no matter what. On the one hand, to strive for the ideal is not bad, even convenient for those who are with a perfectionist nearby. Perfection system with feature syndrome is the perfect option for any employer, because you can hang the work of a whole team, and it will perform it, because it cannot be different. Therefore, on the other hand, the life of a person who strives to be perfectly, usually resembles hell.
- Distinctive features of perfection system with syndrome of features:
- The desire for perfect cleanliness, order (and may be observed from childhood - handles in Lineberry, dolls for growth, products in the refrigerator alphabetically, etc.).
- A painful reaction to any criticism that can bring to depression, hysterics. And against the background of this - jealousy, when someone else is praised.
"The desire to do everything to" five ", take over the increased obligations, try that there are strength, die, but do.
- Readiness for self-sacrifice, both in personal relationships and at work. His, personal, ourselves "excellent" does not appreciate, does not protect, it is more important to achieve an ideal in any way. Therefore, it is ready to do something to the detriment of its physical and mental health, work on wear.
- Comparison of yourself with others, which is always not in its favor - "Excellent" is always worse than those who compare herself with, it motivates her to achieve even greater success.
Allow yourself to make mistakes
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How do people acquire syndrome of an excellent?
Usually in early childhood, when parents give to understand the girl that no one, first of all, they will not love her just like that. She must earn praise and, accordingly, love. Consequently, there must be tooth toys, not to litter, behave well, to learn perfectly. The girl gets used to the fact that the love of parents is not unconditional and manifests itself only when she is good. At the subconscious level, it is fixed: a good act + praise + love. Therefore, the girl grows with the understanding of what needs to be good, try - and then you will love. Here, as a rule, constant criticism adds to the child's address, discontent with them, because it is not like others, something does not do something, does not achieve any success. The child is experiencing negative emotions within himself, is angry that he did not please something with his parents, and tries to prove with all ways that it can be loved by him. Usually in families where "excellent" is growing, one of the parents is quite authoritated and constantly suppresses the child.
What does the presence of the syndrome of the Executor?
The desire to ideal threatens nervous disruptions, protracted depression, physical discomplication, psychosomatic diseases. And, perhaps, the most important thing is that women with syndrome features often use in their own purposes - employers, men, girlfriends, acquaintances, colleagues, in general, all who are neither too lazy. "Excellent" - a convenient object to which you can dump all the work, in your personal relationship these women are endlessly adjusted to men, friends, familiar, can not deny anyone, someone must constantly. Having worried from childhood that love can only be deserved, I'm so bad that no one will love me so much, the woman allows you to again and again wipe the legs and in partners most often chooses abusers, building with them although there is a short, but toxic relationships.
You do not need it in some other approval, except for your own
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What if you discovered some signs of the syndrome of the Executor?
- It is understood that it is bad and wrong. There is nothing perfect in this world, so you can relax and just score: the world does not collapse. Therefore, stop ourselves in the desire to bring everything to the state of perfectionism.
- Allow yourself to make mistakes. Stop it yourself from the inside for some misses.
- You do not have to meet any questions and opinions. And, moreover, adapt to them. Learn to act, based on your own priorities, not strangers.
- Realize that you do not need any other approval, except for your own. You yourself head.
- If you can't change yourself and your life, contact a psychologist for qualified help.