Alexey Barabash was already a hero of "atmosphere" four years ago. But during this time he had events that turned his life. In the morning of May 4, 2018, he felt that he had half of the body and was broken. It was a stroke, followed by another one. Only a miracle saved the actor from the most serious operation. And when he returned to the shooting platform, he met her - actress Alexander Bogdanov. A year later, they got married. About this and many other things - in the latest interview of the magazine.
- Alexey, you said that after that terrible event rethought life. What exactly do you mean?
- It happened almost in forty-one. It has already thought that the crisis of middle-aged passed me, but ... and when it happened, I was just reset, I had an absolutely erased personality. It is quite scary, so it was about what to think about, being in complete loneliness. I stopped communicating almost with everyone, because I did not understand at all how to talk with children, parents, friends. It lasted four months. But I began to notice simple things: heaven, trees, weather changes - and find that he absolutely did not appreciate, joy, in a word, fascinated by life. In grappling collected new Alexey.
- So you became closed than was?
- No, on the contrary. It was used to turn on the inner gypsy and smile, seemingly a secular and light man - the work was for me, and now I am more open, I enjoy communication, from new acquaintances, from people who are interested in me and interest me. But the period of my return to society has not yet ended, there are very many unlocked moments. At the moment, I communicate with units from the past life, almost the entire old circle of people with whom I closely contacted, stopped being interesting for me.
"When it happened, I was just reset, I was worn out. It is quite scary. It was about what to think about, being in full solitude"
Photo: Vladimir Myshkin
"So you didn't communicate for four months even with my parents, although after a half months I have already started to act?! And who supported you, helped recover? Where was Anna Vorkueva, from which you were in a relationship?
"When everything happened, Anya was also next to me, and she did a little man, manifesting empathy to my state, helped himself very much in that period, because I was like a newborn baby. She tried to explain all the parents and insisted that they did not come, what was right, although they naturally rushed here. Many people called, but I physically could not communicate, so we blocked my phone. In general, Anya I was insulated from everything so that I could safely recover. And I am very grateful to her.
"Why did you break up, having survived the most difficult moments?"
"I think she has already looked at that horror that happened to me." I knew almost a month in the hospital, and she invested a lot of strength in me, but cleanly emotionally, probably, could not cope with it. I understand her. There were many different circumstances, and in the end we decided that we need to part.
- And your feelings then have not passed? After all, if this decision was rather her choice, then for you it could become an injury?
- I confess, at first it was hard to take it, emotionally unpleasant. But we still save ourselves in such situations, and I was not to the marmalade sentiment. I was concerned about my condition and spent a long time in fear. Therefore, everything that concerns personal life has moved to the third, fourth plan.
- And how did you like to play with Anna in the "singer's hunt", where do your heroes intersect tightly?
- We met perfectly normally, communicated and worked. Both understood that the feelings were gone. Now I do not contact, but I have no negative attitude towards her, I think that she also has for me too.
"I was ready for Sasha's appearance. We had chemistry, which threw it in three or four months. And we began to build relationships"
Photo: Vladimir Myshkin
- You shot at once in two projects, in Rostov and Svetice. In my opinion, in the "singer" you played just filigree, with such a set of paints and so much ...
- Thank you. I watched some scenes in the "singer", and I have a feeling that it is a good job. (Smiles.) Just I let go myself. In the middle of autumn, the "New Major Cherkasov Major" began. And at some point there were three projects at the same time. But there I felt confidently. Probably helped me someone from above. I have all this period in part, as in a dream.
- And when fear disappeared? And, by the way, doctors allowed you to shoot so soon?
- I got a good doctor in the Bakulev-Skom Institute, who said that it was not necessary to be afraid of anything, but you need to sing, play, love the sky, people, the very life. But it was necessary that I myself took it and felt. Although she helped with his authoritative opinion. I was supervised and supervised for another six months, and at what moment the doctor announced that I was healthy. It became easier, but fear still did not pass. I had to work with a psychotherapist, but I will say honestly, let me go only in a year. I was subconsciously waiting for the number. But Sasha has already appeared (Actress Alexander Bogdanova. - Approx. Aut.), And she said: "nothing happens, you will see. You need to live this day as usual. " And the next morning I woke up, and I was already quite unstable to go further.
- You said that the most terrible after the diagnosis was the unknown. And it seems to me that it's not always good to know everything. If you can't change anything, it is better to hope for the best ...
- No, I am for the truth. But so I began to think also recently. To gain freedom and happiness, it is necessary to some extent to become a fatalist and pofigist, but at the same time not liable. When we take fear, you stop afraid, and therefore we can survive everything. But to achieve such a state, you need to do a huge inner work. I'm still at the beginning. But I always achieve what I want, and I will definitely achieve. When you stop afraid, you get ease, and if you are light and simple, you can look at you. Pain in the eyes does not interfere. The person who was born with pain, and this is about me, swears it to the end of his life.
- Have you ever been afraid, suddenly something will not work out in the profession?
- No, I will find where to implement yourself. When I cut off a spoon for recovery, caught myself thinking: "Or maybe all this acting fuss - to the damn mother? Maybe different stylish spoons do? " (Smiles.) I initially come from the creative side to everything, and then I remove earnings from this to Maxi-Mu.
- By that time, when Sasha appeared, have you been not yet configured for romantic stories?
"Then I worried that or already completely shruga, or something bright will appear and revitalizes me." I was ready for Sasha's appearance. We had a chemical reaction, which threatened in a natural way after three or four months, and then we began to build relationships.
- With Sasha, you met the shooting "Rostov". Have you been partners than she hooked you?
- No, we did not intersect in the frame. At first, I just saw a good actress and a beautiful girl. At that moment I was still in a half-weak state. (Smiles.) But then realized that this is the best woman on Earth.
- Do you think that a lush passion must pass and then love will appear?
- Sure! Love is a choice. And we do not really like to work on relationships. Chemistry passed, love, it seems to us: "Well, that's all." And in fact, the love and the most interesting thing begins. Due to what people can be with each other years? Due to the fact that they respect each other. You can not climb on the free space of another. And, of course, common interests are important to have to talk to.
- Julia, your ex-wife, and Anna often accompanied you on the set. And as you confessed in one of the television interviews - with Sasha, you too, too, did not part for these two years. You do not think that since those stories ended, it is worth changing this practice?
- It's completely true, and we are just now deliberately tearing a built pattern. I understood our huge mistake - we have existed to each other in each other, not so much to miss.
"I lay in the hospital for almost a month, and Anna had a lot of strength in me. But purely emotionally could no longer withstand all this horror"
Photo: Vladimir Myshkin
- You said that in the relationship you are civilized people. So you can afford light flirt?
- Relationships can only be built on trust, and it occurs when you define taboo topics for yourself. I voiced my sugar wishes, she was my own, we are not limited to you, just chose some behavior to be calm, including exclude any flirt. Trust is a very fragile thing, it must be deserved. Of course, I notice the female beauty and always feel if someone likes me. This is enough for me, it is already an inner victory. I can delay the boundaries of the relationship very clearly to my age, and I like it.
"Why did you generally discuss it at all, some calls appeared or just think five steps forward?"
- No, there were no calls, I just wanted to figure out how not to lose the freshness of the relationship. And, in my opinion, we succeeded.
"In our past interviews, you said:" I am now preparing to become a conscious rebel. " Was it?
- I believe that the relationship in the family is an absolute matriarchy. What to resist? Anyway, a woman will take her. (Smiles.) Do you want a happy relationship? Think so like me.
- With Sasha, you quickly signed. And to her, in my opinion, you preferred to officially execute relations, except Anna, perhaps.
- On Sasha, I married a year later with a little. And with Anya we did not have such a goal and task. But now I have a completely different position. I think that people do not need to marry. All these stamps, formal commitments - full nonsense.
- So you recently married ...
- I married in the fall, and now I do not think it is right.
- Why? After the appearance of the stamp in the passport, the relationship became worse?
- No, we are fine. It is not wrong, just in modern times it is absolutely no need to, hesitated himself, this is a rudiment.
- Parents got acquainted with Sasha?
- She has long been familiar with them, we once or twice a month for them come to them, they live in the Leningrad region. And now in Crimea Sasha met with my older son arsenia, he was twenty-three years old. He rested at his grandmother. And we very nicely spent several days, walked, talked about life, philosophized ... Arseny such a handsome, tightened, thin.
- Are you now growing more work or life itself is now more important? And what makes most of all?
- self-development. I read a lot of books on psychology. I have a desire to consciously pull yourself out of the comfort zone, I hurt a social felt. And now, if I want to sleep, I get up early. If I want to eat, I show asceticism. If I want to go by car, I go on foot. If I want to walk somewhere alone, I go to the people. I am glad, for example, a simple tomoro for lunch. (Smiles.) And recently did not imagine dinner consisting of one tomato. As it did not imagine that you can walk from Gorky Park to Arbat.
- So when you want to swim in the sea and go to the Crimea, it should not climb into the water with a temperature plus twenty-five, but wait for eighteen ...
- Just with regard to the sea - this is the opportunity to pull yourself out of the comfort zone, this is pleasure, those little things for which it costs to live. The sea should be perceived as it is, and not to warm it up with a boiler or climb into a warm pool. There were two days of the storm, the water was cooled, but I was bought.
"Now I am easier to react to everything, and on youth it was hurt to tears. There is always an illusion that you can get away from the problems with alcohol"
Photo: Vladimir Myshkin
- After your review of life, do you feel any dissatisfaction in the profession or vice versa? The roles you have beautiful and in recent projects, but everywhere a series of thin bastards. I would like to interrupt it ...
- Yes. But, on the other hand, I am now related to this from the position: "I will be the way you want to see me." I can extract the maximum benefit for myself in absolutely any material. The boy is already forty-three years old (laughs), some illusory dreams and ambitions changed to understanding the harsh truth of life. The attitude to reality was male. But you will not find an honest actor of my age, which will say that he does not care. As soon as you get in this profession much anyway, you need to leave it. Naturally, I want interesting and diverse roles. But I am not at that age and not in the understanding of myself to bite your elbows if I won't have them. A good role will appear, I will be grateful and lick from it to the maximum, it will not be too interesting - and from it the lick at the maximum. (Laughs.) I can cling to the operator, director, I can for a partner if it is bad material, or for some scene that I dreamed of playing. But I refuse that it is completely unacceptable for me is not interesting.
- Your male renome does not suffer if you don't earn any time for some time, you're not alone? And maybe you need money for unrealized dreams: Dacha, house?
"We fantasize with Sasha about apartments, about houses, about swimming pools, about a beautiful life that we cannot afford." But I am sure that if you send the correct signals, then everything will happen. And the work will appear that you want. Now we exist on our meager, replaced respectable hotels to another accommodation on vacation, we accept it.
- And many of your colleagues, especially young, manage not just to postpone the money, but even quickly buy apartments in Moscow, earning anything ...
- They understand what they broke out, and went out. And I, since I am stupid, there was no such installation, I thought from youth that I would work for a long time, always. (Laughs.) And I never copied anything. I think that as soon as this installation will arise, immediately and stop working.
- With all this, you are a very reflective person. In the sharp periods of doubt in yourself and their talents, are you addicted to alcohol?
- I had a series of failures in the profession. When you send the material, you fall in love with him, even rehearse for some time, fantasize, and you prefer another actor, it's hard. Now I am easier to react to everything, and my youth was insulting to tears. Then a bottle appeared. There is always an illusion that you can get away from problems with alcohol or other strong drugs, everything that changes the chemicals of the brain. Many guys make such a mistake, believe that it is possible to facilitate the experiences, but, as a rule, everything is only aggravated by the next day. Now I already know how to cope with this state. When I feel bad, I can swim, ride a bike, run, walk ... Any move pushes garbage from my head. By the way, and during the period of recovery, when I experienced a sense of fear, I still had headaches, pulsation, I listened to myself and climbed the fifteen-twenty kilometers a day. The main thing, I realized that it would not be mine, and my I would not go anywhere from me. I was never "sterile." "Sterile" are those who do not drink at all, does not smoke. I do not know why it happens, but they are boring and uninteresting. And we are always interested in people who have pain in their eyes. The more pain, the more and more pleasant even a little victory.
"But you somehow said that alcohol was a consequence of a lack of love." Is it about glory and recognition?
- Everyone has its own inner threshold of love needs. I have it very big, so I will never stop. I always wanted recognition, and this is a very serious thing. Sometimes it is necessary to spend the life in order for someone, maybe even one person treated. Why are "stars" flash for half a year, a year, and then disappear? Because their need for this is small. They get, on their own standards, full of applause, fame, money, and then fill themselves from the inside the Wishlists can not, because there is no depth.
"I married last fall, but now I do not think that it was right. All these stamps, formal obligations - full nonsense!"
Photo: Vladimir Myshkin
- Can you tell at least one episode of such recognition?
- I do not remember such moments, because already running ahead of the locomotive further. And maybe they were not. (Laughs.) But I already understood from the student that I was lucky. In everything. And grateful for this is some kind of heavenly energy, strength, I'm not afraid to say it. I asked a lot and got a lot. This luck is not that rushing over all fronts, but in the fact that something is directly sailing into the hands, but from something you will take you.
- Are you talking hypothetically or were there any examples when it took from something terrible or bad?
- Yes, just the other day we walked here in the Crimea. And they decided first on one side of the road to another - I just wanted so much. We go further, and suddenly where we just went through, the car crashed into a pillar. I say Sasha: "But we had to go on the same side." I rushed there, the car was inverted, and with the running men began to return it to a normal situation, pulled out a breast child, a woman and a man in a shock. Thank God, everyone remained alive. But it was very scary. Not from what I saw, but because I myself avoided it myself. That's what I call luck. Or mentally thinking: "I would like to play in some fantastic picture," and here it falls. Or I think that it would be good to play a maniac (laughs), once - and a week - a proposal.
- And what, in your opinion, today do people want to watch?
- The times of hyperealism passed. People stretch to something bright, life-affirming. Previously, similar pictures were able to shoot. Do you remember the wonderful innovative for that time the film "Romance about lovers" Andrei Konchalovsky, like Evgeny Kindinov with Elena Koreneva exist in the first part? This is absolute freedom - how they transmit feelings. This is happiness, spilled in pure form. That's something like that would like to play me.