It seems to us that 3-4-year-old children still do not understand the "adults" conversations, and therefore we are freely discussing various topics with them. But when the son or daughter begins to simply quote some of our words, we simply do not know where to choose your eyes ... In order for you to never have a desire to fall through the earth from shame, let's figure it out, what are the conversations for children You can, and which - to leave for discussion only with adults?
• Discussion of acquaintances, their character, deeds, statements, success and failure occupies in our home conversations almost the main place. With one people we agree, with others in absentia, but it is no less violent, we argue, we join someone, we admire someone. Thus, the circle of our communication is invisibly present in the house, affecting the children. Listening to the conversations of adults, they imperceptibly assimilate their principles, learn to distinguish, "what is good and what is bad," writes Passion.ru.
By virtue of its age features, kids are much better absorbed by the information when it is concrete and emotionally painted. So coming out about the familiar noble, remember that you are not alone. Determine the face for which you should not go. In fact, it is not so difficult: just imagine that we are talking about you. But, if you, carried away, still started discussing their acquaintances with a child, then at least pretend that we are talking about people who he knows does not know. Your words will be less interested in it if they are not associated with the man's image to which he has already formed its own attitude.
• Previously considered completely unacceptable to criticize teachers in the presence of a child. Now everything is with an accuracy yes, on the contrary: children frankly lead a very unflattering statement of their parents about today's education, about modern methods, about school in general and about individual teachers in particular. Often, parents simply do not consider it necessary to hide from their children, in which they did the exam or the day of the teacher, and sometimes they industinate that these spending were not brought to the desired favor of the teacher.
Of course, such statements are not always groundless. However, discrediting school, parents are deprived of a very important assistant in exposure to the child. First, because the learning process is largely based on the authority of the teacher. Secondly, the child's depriving child is to see adults who can imitate, they pushing it to find other landmarks, and they are far from always becoming worthy.
But this does not mean that it is not worth discussing educational problems. It is necessary to do this, but - constructively, so as to support the child, and not glow the conflict and not to warm up its discontent with school and teachers.
• We are largely known from the classics, spoil the apartment question. Living with relatives, otherwise unauthorized people, we will inevitably quarrel. When people live side by side, even on a small territory, irritation grows in their soul, and in such a situation, any trifle can grow into a large quarrel.
But sometimes much worse than the picture of the quarrel between relatives and neighbors for the child are endless "kitchen conversations", in which we can afford very impartially discuss close people as soon as the entrance door is closed. And in the evening or the next morning, we will again greetfully greet and lead friendly conversations. Children such relationships are either hardened in a dead end, or teach bonds.
• It is believed that the child cannot be devoted to the parents. Unhappy mother from the last effort is trying to support the authority of the father in the eyes of the child, thoroughly hiding his vices and inventing non-existent advantages. After all, it's no secret that the more decent people surround the child, the more protected he feels.
But here is not so simple. In the event that the family still disintegrated, the child will be difficult to explain why suddenly the mother wants to divorce such a wonderful dad or that the one who, according to Mom, loves them very much, suddenly goes to another tet. In any case, the strategy of grinding and pretense does not bring to good, because children feel good feelings. It is necessary to maintain the prestige of their relatives, but some intrameable disagreements are not worth hiding from the kids.
• Is it possible to discuss with the child himself? You can even need! When children seem to notice them, they begin to demonstratively to pay attention to themselves, to do something called, in a word, any means try to call in adults at least some - even negative - emotions. But much more often parents are divided with the surrounding not joy, and the disadvantages about their children. Some mothers even complain about the child in educational purposes. They do this in order for the baby to be, first of all, is ashamed of his disgrace. However, the effect of such education is usually reverse: the child either begins to plan a new "feat", which will be the next pretext for talking about him; Or the public humiliation takes it, and will hide it to the "revenge."
Therefore, in order not to reap the fruits of such educational works, do not report to the baby in public, talk about it only good. By this you will help the child to create a positive image of your own "I", and he will seek what to strive for.